Looking Within after Being Reprimanded by My Supervisor
(Clearwisdom.net) Not long ago, while a colleague in my division was on vacation, I helped her handle an urgent matter out of kindness. When her subordinate presented a draft report for me to review, I didn’t give it a thorough examination, thinking there shouldn’t be any problem with such an easy task. However, when my colleague later returned to work and went to secure the CEO’s signature, he reprimanded her for submitting such a sloppy and mistake-laden report. The CEO was so mad that he called the president of our division, who was on a business trip in the U.S., and expressed his strong disapproval. The president in turn called back to admonish my colleague.
Because the back-and-forth phone conversations occurred when it was my turn to be on vacation, I wasn’t really clear about all the details. I felt I did what I thought to be appropriate at the time and didn’t think I had anything to do with the faulty report.
To my surprise, I was summoned to the office of the vice president of the division as soon as I came back from my vacation. The vice president showered me with criticism, and she got even more furious when I tried to explain myself. At one moment I felt I was going to lose my job. Even though I still didn’t think I had done anything wrong, I realized that, as a cultivator, I shouldn’t argue with others, so I said to her, “I’m not going to defend myself anymore. It’s all my fault, and I’ll apologize to the president. I’m willing to accept any punishment the company deems appropriate.” Interestingly, her attitude suddenly changed, and she began to comfort me instead. She even offered ideas on how I should approach the president.
I gathered my thoughts after returning to my cubicle and wrote an email message to the president, who was still in the U.S., expressing my sincere apology for causing him to be criticized by the CEO. The president soon emailed me back saying, “It’s no big deal. Don't worry.”
This incident taught me that when faced with conflicts, as soon as we change our notions and gauge everything with a cultivator's standards, things will turn around immediately. In the meantime, I also spotted many warped notions and human attachments I still harbored.
The first omission I identified concerned my attitude towards the above-mentioned colleague. To be honest, I was extremely disappointed after learning that she had shifted all the blame to me in front of the CEO. Given that I had always tried my best to help her during the past year, since she was not very competent in her job, I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she turned me into her scapegoat whenever there was a problem. Even though I knew I should look within, I still felt very uneasy in my heart. When I was finally able to calm down, I saw that the reason I helped her was indeed to protect myself. Not long after I joined the company, I heard that she was the kind of person who often reported on others to top management. I didn’t want to become her target. Since I was very good at my job, I often finished my work ahead of schedule and had plenty of time to spare. I wanted to use my spare time to study the Fa, read Minghui articles, or write my own experience sharing articles, but I didn’t want her to report me to my boss. Based on this thought, I tried my best to offer assistance with her work and to please her. I even secretly hoped that she would sing my praises in front of the higher-ups.
This colleague was not an expert in our business field, yet was given some major responsibilities. Before I joined the company, she was often reprimanded for being incompetent, yet nobody was capable enough to help her. I suddenly recalled the vice president’s words, “If you want to help her, you should really do a good job helping her.” Now I not only I failed to offer good help, I also caused her to be chided by the CEO. I had refused to admit my mistake and held grudges against her. Was I wrong or not? I began to feel truly sorry to her after realizing my mistake.
The second omission arose from my human attachments and a lack of responsibility. The day her subordinate showed me the report, I was preoccupied with a long economic analysis written by a certain economist. It was such a long article that I spent almost the whole day reading it. I felt that I resonated with the ideas presented in the paper, and I kept thinking about what could happen to the Chinese Communist Party given the current economic conditions. Because of my absent-mindedness, I didn’t pay attention when the subordinate asked me to review the report, and I confirmed an otherwise flawed report by mistake. Thinking about what happened to me that day, I should have used all the time to study the Fa, but I didn’t. Master has clear teachings on the future of the CCP, yet I became obsessed with a non-practitioner’s analysis. All in all, I didn’t have a clear understanding of the Fa principles and was moved by everyday people’s society.
The third omission had something to do with my warped notion that it was wrong to read Dafa books while at work. Through this incident I came to the understanding that everything that cultivators encounter is arranged by Master. Specifically, everyone I came to know also had a predestined relationship with me, and they were waiting for me to save them. Moreover, my job was arranged by Master, and it was meant for me to have more time to study the Fa or do Fa-validation projects while at work. Everything in today’s society exists to meet Dafa’s needs and help Dafa disciples validate the Fa and save sentient beings. As such, it is perfectly reasonable to study the Fa in one’s spare time at work. I made up my mind to follow Master’s arrangements for me, and I was determined to negate the old forces’ interference. In the days that followed this incident, I openly read Minghui articles and Master’s teachings whenever I got my work done early.
Speaking of a light workload, I recalled the first few months after I joined the company. In the beginning, I wasn’t given much work, so I often finished a week’s workload in just half a day. Even though I had a lot of spare time, I didn’t dare to read Dafa books the very first month. Then I couldn’t stand wasting such precious time anymore, and I began to study the Fa, despite the possibility that someone might catch me.
Even though I still harbored a lot of human notions, Master showed me the positive outcome of studying the Fa. A colleague who had collaborated with me kept praising me in front of my supervisor, and the company increased my monthly salary by 4,000 yuan at the end of my probationary period. At that time I failed to recognize the salary increase as an encouragement from Master; instead I felt that I should work harder to prove that I deserved the pay raise. I not only took the initiative to find myself more work to do, I also did a lot of things that were the responsibility of my subordinates.
One month later the division president summoned me in for a meeting. He told me that the pay raise was not meant to have me buried in trivial day-to-day business matters. He warned me to not do anything for my subordinates. Instead, he hoped to see me assign responsibilities to different subordinates and make sure they each did their own job well. Gradually I learned how to delegate responsibilities and was surprised to notice that my subordinates could indeed do things well. Since I no longer had to mind work details, I again had a lot of time to study the Fa. The president talked to me again, this time praising me for doing a fantastic job of grooming and training my subordinates.
I felt that Master intended to use this whole process to show me the inner meaning of the Fa at my level and enlighten me to have a clear understanding of my job and responsibilities. When I spent a lot of time studying the Fa at work every day, my colleague and president showered me with praise. When I treated my pay raise with human notions, I invited reproach instead. When I learned to delegate responsibilities and again had more time to study the Fa, my president was very satisfied with me. I should have learned more from this earlier work experience, yet I didn’t take it very seriously. As a result, the incident mentioned at the beginning of the article happened.
The above are some of my recent cultivation experiences. Please point out anything inappropriate.