(Clearwisdom.net)
Teacher said,
“Study the Fa and gain the Fa,
Focus on how you study and cultivate,
Let each and every thing
be measured against the Fa.
Only then, with that,
is it actually cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation” from Hong Yin)
I decided to write about the cultivation path I have walked over the past decade in hopes of finding my shortcomings so as to become more diligent on this, the last leg of our cultivation journey.
1. Obtaining the Fa
In the summer of 1998, one of my colleagues presented me with a copy of Zhuan Falun and a copy of the Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa, books authored by Mr. Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Gong. The moment I picked up the books, a ray of golden light engulfed me. I felt as if I were immersed in the light and felt really good. I said, feeling joy, “It's great! I will learn Falun Gong.” My colleague said, “You can learn the exercises by looking at the pictures in the book and following the instructions.”
That night I was sitting in bed while doing the fifth exercise, “Reinforcing Supernatural Powers,” which is a sitting meditation. I dozed off shortly after I started and saw as if in a dream thousands of golden lights shining from the sky. Teacher came towards me in a lotus flower from a distant horizon and stopped on top of my head. At that time, a ray of golden light touched my chest and then expanded outwards into infinity. I was bathed in the light of the Fa. The joy in my heart can't be described in mere words. Teacher then left and slowly disappeared, but his smile and his compassionate demeanor is etched forever into my heart. Tears bathed my face and at that moment I decided to be a firm cultivator and said, “Teacher, I will cultivate Falun Gong through to the end, with no regrets!”
2. Setting up a Fa-study Group
After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to persecute Falun Gong on July 20, 1999, my mind was filled with fear. This was because I was not diligent in studying the Fa. Therefore, at the onset of the persecution I failed to truly understand the Fa from the Fa and did the exercises only when I was alone. Then, at the beginning of 2002 I met a fellow practitioner, which surely was arranged by Teacher. When I asked him if he was still practicing Falun Gong, he said he was. There were over 100 practitioners in our area before the onset of the persecution, but we were unsure as to how many were still practicing. We agreed to look for those practitioners. Over the following week we found more than 20 of our former fellow practitioners. Since we still held a lot of fear, we dared not study the Fa in a group, because if more than 20 people gathered at someone's home, the neighbors would certainly notice. We wanted to encourage practitioners to step forward, so we decided to study the Fa in the woods temporarily.
With the improvement of our understanding, we realized that group Fa study, experience sharing, and a group practice site were the three things Teacher had encouraged from the beginning. Since most of us were living in the mountains and we were quite a distance from each other, I offered my home as a meeting place, since it was the midpoint for everyone. I decided to have the group Fa study in my courtyard. With Teacher watching over us, the Fa study group was successfully set up.
After the establishment of the study group, we improved rapidly in our understanding of the Fa. All practitioners cherished the environment so everyone came to the group study, no matter how far they had to travel, how difficult the mountain roads, or how unpleasant the weather. We met twice a month. Every time we would send forth the righteous thoughts first, read a lecture in Zhuan Falun, do the five exercises, and share experiences. We focused on how we studied and cultivated and tried to do the three things well. In clarifying the truth about Falun Gong we cooperated with each other and made sure we covered every farm house, market, school, factory, and mining operation. We experienced many miracles in our effort to assist Master in saving sentient beings.
3. Practicing Forbearance
Because of group Fa study I gradually improved, but I stumbled and tripped many times along the way. Several times I caused problems for the group because of my human attachments to accomplishing a task and showing off.
a. One day in the spring of 2004, when we were waiting for several practitioners that hadn't arrived yet, my wife, who was not a practitioner, suddenly said, “I want to attend your sharing today. I want to let everyone know that you do not care about this house and leave all the household chores to me. You want to go to heaven but give no thought to my life. When I try to reason with you, you even fly into a rage and accuse me of being a demon that interferes with Dafa.”
On hearing that I not only didn't look within, but got rather angry. As a result, my wife grabbed several Falun Dafa books and the truth-clarification materials and threatened to go to the police station to report me. The other practitioners left immediately. One of them managed to persuade my wife to come back. Back home, my wife held my legs and said that she would not allow me to practice again. By then I knew I was in the wrong. I kept expressing my regret to Teacher and said to my wife, “I know it's my fault and I will correct myself. However, I would rather die than give up my cultivation practice!” My wife, who was on her knees kowtowing to heaven, said, “Heaven, I am out of my wits and unable to make him listen. He said he would rather die than give up his cultivation practice.” After that she said to me with a smile, “You said you will correct your errors. In the future you must treat me with respect and do the household chores according to the standard set by your Teacher. You must also admit to your faults during your group sharing.” I felt really ashamed and my faced was bathed with tears. At the group sharing I discovered the notions I had not let go. When my wife saw the changes in me, she began to help us. She boiled water and cooked a meal when we were having Fa study. She also went on the lookout while I was distributing Falun Gong materials and withdrew from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
b. At a group Fa study in the autumn of 2004 one practitioner was half sitting and half lying on a couch with his legs crossed. I did not take into consideration the outcome but said angrily to him, “You are a veteran practitioner--look at you!” He said I verbally abused him so he quit the group Fa study. The following day I went to his home on my own initiative and studied the section "Upgrading Xingxing in Lecture 4 of Zhuan Falun with him and admitted my mistakes. This practitioner also found his own shortcomings and said he would be more diligent.
c. In the autumn of 2005, one practitioner stopped attending the group Fa study and set up a group of his own. I went to his home to study, “The Mentality of Showing Off” in Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun and shared with him. The practitioner said, “Every time we studied the Fa and shared, you always talked too much. We didn't come a long way to just listen to you talk. During sharing when I had questions about the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and asked if we were getting involved in politics, you went into rage and said, "You're not diligent. You have very a strong human attachment and the mentality of fear."
He continued, “Well, you are too diligent, so I found some practitioners to form another group with members who are on the same level.” On hearing that I said, “I have a lot of shortcomings, including those you just mentioned. I really haven't done well in this respect. However, this is not a good enough excuse for not coming to the group Fa study and setting up another group. When we have differences, we must communicate with each other and be diligent. Today I came here to listen to your opinion and apologize to you. I sincerely hope we can improve together on the Fa.” We settled our differences and he asked me to lunch before leaving.
4. Setting up a Material Production Site
Beginning in 2005, new and veteran practitioners joined the group. Since we lived in a mountainous area, transportation was an issue and there were no Internet connections. Therefore, truth-clarification materials about Falun Gong were scarce. Some of the new and veteran practitioners did not even have a copy Zhuan Falun. I went to an acquaintance for help making photocopies. I took apart a copy of Zhuan Falun and made five copies. Both the front cover and Teacher's portrait were all black and white. He didn't bind the books, but charged me 60 yuan a copy. I had never bound a book, so it really took me quite some time to do it. I must admit, it was a substandard job all around. Looking at these books I felt as if a knife was piercing my heart and I broke out in tears. Therefore, I decided to set up a real material production site.
A fellow practitioner helped me set it up. His child was studying in another part of the country, so we asked him to buy a copy machine. Since the practitioner's home was in the valley, we set up the copier at his home. There was no access to the Internet and we didn't have a computer, so we did not have a master copy. Teacher arranged for us to meet up with practitioners who provided us with master copies. The two of us cooperated very well in producing the materials. However, we could only do some copying work. As for other materials, such as CDs and Zhuan Falun, we still had to rely on other material sites.
With the Falun Dafa truth-clarification efforts branching out, we met practitioners while clarifying the truth in other townships. They all practiced at home and had not set up a Fa study group. There was only one copy of truth-clarification material. I went to their townships to study the Fa with them. I helped them set up Fa study groups. When sharing they said that they didn't have any truth-clarification materials, exercise music, or copies of Zhuan Falun. We discussed things and were able to resolve most of the issues except for putting together Zhuan Falun. On my way home I stopped to buy cassette recorders and tapes, which I gave to whoever needed them.
5. Testing Resolve in the Practice
At approximately 3:30 a.m. in mid June 2005, a new practitioner called me and said, “A relative of mine that is a government official told me that you were going to be arrested at 6:00 a.m. this morning.” We, a fellow practitioner and I, were producing more than 2,000 copies of truth clarification materials. We immediately hid the equipment and materials and notified all practitioners. We returned after two days and asked that new practitioner what was going on. He said, “You veteran practitioners often say that you are not afraid, but, actually, you were more frightened than I was when we were faced with the test.” This really embarrassed us, and we didn't know whether to laugh or cry. We studied Teacher's "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston" in which Teacher said,
“As a Dafa disciple, no matter what the situation or what the circumstances, you have to study the Fa, and you can't neglect your own assimilation and improvement; you can't forget to study the Fa. If you don't study the Fa well, you won't be able to do Dafa work well.” ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
After we studied the Fa with a calm mind, we improved our understandings. We realized that we had to study the Fa diligently and improve our ethical behavior. Further, we realized the importance of sending righteous thoughts more often to eliminate the interference from the old forces. Lastly we realized that we should not set high standards for new practitioners. We should be careful with what we tell them and not use strong language. Once we identified our shortcomings and corrected them, we resolved many of our problems.
6. Surviving Pressure
In the spring of 2006, the practitioner who had helped me produce Falun Gong materials moved out of our area. He brought all the equipment to my home. At first I didn't know where to put it, nor did I know who to ask for help. I then thought of my uncle, my father's youngest brother, because his home was in a secluded area. I went to his home and told him about Falun Gong and the unprecedented persecution. I gave him two books: The Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and The Real Story of Jiang Zemin. He then agreed that I could set up the equipment at his house.
The material production site in our town was interfered with, so they asked me to produce Falun Gong materials such as DVDs, flyers, and Dafa books. I was also asked to buy the equipment and learn how to use it. I was a peasant living in the mountains and my education ended after the fourth grade. I couldn't read or write the English alphabet. Moreover, I had to work in the fields and plant crops. I thought about my time schedule with a calm mind. Finally I decided to hire others to work in my fields. The skills I needed, I learned from the Minghui/Clearwisdom website when producing the Falun Gong materials. With Teacher's help and encouragement, I overcame one difficulty after another.
I printed the materials in the daytime and studied the Fa and practiced the exercises in the evening. I also packaged the materials at night and took them to town in boxes. I also had to make time to help local practitioners and was rather tired. Sometimes I was too tired to stand up straight. For security reasons, I didn't tell anyone about my problems, but I decided to look for practitioners that would help me. I talked to each one individually, asking him or her to set up a material production site. But each one said, “I am a peasant and have no clue how to do these things. Also, I am too busy with field work.” Another practitioner that could have helped held too much fear. He said to my wife, “Your husband is producing Falun Gong truth clarification materials. He is foolish. He will be killed if he is arrested.” Fortunately, my wife was very supportive.
I just continued to produce materials about Falun Gong at my uncle's home. I spent my entire day printing materials. One day, one of his neighbors wanted to borrow something that was stored in the room where I was working. He didn't let me know before showing up with the neighbor while I was printing materials. After the neighbor left, I told my uncle, “You should have let me know first. You shouldn't have brought that person into this room.” In return, he called several relatives of mine the next day and told them that I was practicing Falun Gong. He asked them to make me stop cultivating. My uncle also asked his wife to call my wife. My uncle's wife cried and said that I was going to harm and destroy the family. Fortunately my wife understood me and was very supportive. She said she was going to help me take the equipment to our home and help produce materials at our home. We lived in the center of town, so many people passed by. My wife said, “You produce the materials and I will stand watch.”
Unfortunately, my uncle ran into a lot of problems. He fractured his leg. His wife fell down and was brain damaged. They were in the hospital, so I took care of them because their children lived out of town. After they returned home, their son resigned from the army, had no job, and divorced his wife. Their daughter also was divorced. At that time I told them about Falun Gong and the persecution. My uncle and his wife were still not clearheaded. Their son accepted what I said but didn't agree to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Their daughter agreed with me and quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Later, she found a good job and got married again.
7. Burdened with Heavy Responsibilities
In the spring of 2007, local practitioners went to clarify the truth in a nearby city, where we met up with other practitioners. After experience sharing, we were told that their material production site had been destroyed. They were in urgent need of hundreds of Falun Dafa books and other truth clarification materials. I agreed to produce all the materials and would notify them when they were ready. Once everything was ready, they asked me to deliver the materials. I rented a car, but no one was at the agreed upon destination. I asked a contact person to find the practitioners who should have picked me up, but was told that they were not at home. The driver waited for a while and then left. I unloaded the boxes and put them under a tree. I waited for a long time and was very worried, but remained very calm. Many people passed by, but it was as if I was invisible. I was very safe because I was well protected by our compassionate Teacher.
Then the contact person found the people in a supermarket. We moved the materials to a practitioner's home. For later convenient contact, I said to that practitioner, “We agreed that you would come to get the materials, but then asked me to deliver them. You didn't keep your promise. I think that the xinxing level of practitioners in this city is pretty low.” I spoke in a serious tone. He said, “We ran into a problem. We were told that maybe this was arranged by spies who would use this method to arrest us, so they didn't allow us to go.” I felt very bad when I heard that. I was going to get mad, but I suddenly changed my mind, because I had said that I had no regrets about practicing Falun Gong.
I smiled and said, “What should we do then?” He said, “We don't have the conditions to set up a production site. We hope that you will cooperate with us.” I thought, “I am doing this on my own and it is difficult to provide materials to so many people, as the demand in the city is so high.” Then I thought of Teacher's poem:
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardship
Having forged an adamantine will
Free of attachment to living or dying
He walks the path of Fa-rectification
confident and poised” ("Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions," from Hong Yin II)
I also thought that, as a Falun Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period, I could not shirk the great responsibility that I was given. We could not miss one second in the process of saving sentient beings, so I agreed to provide the materials.
8. Flowers Springing up Everywhere
Teacher said,
“That is indeed the situation you are facing now. If you have strong righteous thoughts, cooperate and coordinate well, and walk your path righteously, everything will get better. Students in Mainland China actually have a much tougher time. Their materials production sites are basically at a household level, and they spring up everywhere. In other words, people walk their own paths. Each person, or some that are coordinating with each other on a small scale, is walking his own path. Didn't I say earlier that as far as our cultivation form is concerned, the Great Way has no form? This applies to the things that you do to clarify the facts.”("Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005")
For the security of the existing production site and to reduce the burden on the big production site, we set up more sites. Between the spring of 2008 and the spring of 2009, we set up three production sites. Now they are all running well.
We experienced many difficulties on our cultivation path. Although we stumbled from time to time, we walked upright under Teacher's compassionate protection.
In the beginning, we didn't know how to operate computers. We held the mouse upside down and shut down computers by powering off the electricity. As of today we have accomplished so much. We know how to install a computer system, edit and typeset the layout, burn DVDs, bind books, maintain machines, and run production sites independently.
Thanks to compassionate Teacher's protection, we distributed many truth clarification materials about Falun Gong throughout the Bashan Mountain area. We didn't miss any location. From the city to schools, mines, and villages, we covered every little corner.
