Finding Hope When in Desperation, Eventually Providing Hope to Others
(Clearwisdom.net) In 1996, I started practicing Falun Dafa. I can't describe all the miracles Dafa has shown me. Without Dafa's saving me, my family might have already died.
1. Finding Hope When in Desperation
Before 1996, I had a lumbar disc herniation, muscle strain, and hyperostosis. I was in shock after my mother-in-law passed away and I couldn't really think. I lived like a zombie every day. Later, I also developed cystitis and chronic appendicitis. I was once a cheerful person, but I had become quiet and morose. It was too much pain for me. I was on the edge from the physical pain, but the spiritual pain was even harder. My husband passed away due to illness. I had to carry the weight of my whole family on my shoulders. I had no room to breathe. Mentally, physically and financially, I was about to collapse. I had little courage to live. I kept thinking of taking my two daughters with me and leaving this world. Seeing their innocent little faces, I often cried in my heart. I shouted from my heart, “Heaven, why is it so hard for me? What should I do? Who can save me? How can I survive? Can I support them both and let them to go to school?”
It was an incredibly sad and desperate period of my life.
That night while I was half-asleep, I felt as if a large hand grabbed my back. I woke up startled and opened my eyes. I saw the image of a tall person standing on my head. I was frightened by the supernormal occurrence and closed my eyes. The next day, I didn't think about it much. I didn't realize this was Teacher cleansing my body. Another time, when I was reading Dafa, I saw Teacher's law body in the book and a bright blue Falun rotating on my body and head rapidly. It circulated in the room as a waving color ribbon. I didn't know what it was then.
On that first night, I suffered great pain in my stomach while I was asleep. I had never experienced this kind of pain before. I even thought I might not be able to live any longer. I put on my clothes and looked at my two daughters, who were deep in sleep. I felt very sorry for them. The poor children would lose their mother soon. Putting their clothes next to their pillow, I waited to die. I didn't know Teacher was adjusting and purifying my body. The next morning, my stomach pain was gone, but my back felt so heavy, as if a mountain was put on it. I couldn't find a good position to rest. It was like this for a whole day. I still read Zhuan Falun.
The next day, I was like a new person. My body was so light while walking, as if a thousand-pound load was removed from my body. After studying the Fa, I realized it was Teacher cleansing my body. Teacher removed the root of my illnesses and karma in two days. I can't describe my gratitude. I could never pay back Teacher's enormous grace and merciful salvation.
Later, I enlightened to many Fa principles during Fa study. I saw in other dimensions beautiful scenes including pavilions and buildings. I knew Teacher was hinting to me to be diligent and achieve what I have been seeking. Thousands of years of reincarnation and waiting, however much hardship I endured, I finally found what I was waiting for. I knew clearly what my mission was. I must assist Teacher to rectify the Fa and save sentient beings.
I was taking care of two children who had started school. Teacher hinted to me in my dream I should not hope for others' help; I should stand up on my own. Thank you Teacher. I didn't need others' help because I had Teacher. With Teacher's help, my daughters went to college. I knew Teacher arranged that for me.
2. Clarifying the Truth to Save Sentient Beings
After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) first started persecuting Falun Dafa, I didn't know what to do. Later, fellow practitioners gave me truth-clarification flyers, pamphlets and signs. Every night, I took my two daughters to distribute flyers door to door. We lived in town and the streets were quite well lit. We went to many electricity poles. I would stand in front of one and my daughters and put the signs on it. For a while, many electricity poles had signs that read “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” Later, we moved to a village and my daughters lived at their school. I often went with fellow practitioners to distribute materials. I kept thinking wherever I went: there will be people for me to save. I often ask Teacher to bring people with predestined relationships to me. I told them the facts about Falun Dafa and helped them to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Whoever comes to me, I told them the facts. I never missed a single person.
On February 14, my mother passed away. It was cold and windy outside. Looking out the window, I said in my heart, “Let's have nice weather tomorrow and all the relatives can come. Whoever hasn't heard the truth about Falun Dafa or quit the CCP will come.” The next morning, the weather was extremely nice and warm, and without any wind. Normally, it’s not that warm in February. Many relatives that I expected to attend, did. At dinner, I went from table to table to tell them the facts. I helped over seventy people quit the CCP that day.
My understanding is limited to my level. Please kindly point out any gaps.