(Clearwisdom.net) During the days of May 26th and 27th, I had to choose whether to use a human mindset or righteous thoughts when dealing with a serious health issue.
Encountering Tribulations
On May 24, I began feeling unwell and developed severe constipation. For the next few days, I could still walk downstairs. However, my legs were very heavy and walking required great effort.
On May 26, I could not longer go downstairs after I had used the restroom. Struggling through the day, I needed to use the restroom every few minutes. I felt feeble and my legs would hardly support me. The situation worsened that evening: my abdomen became swollen like a pregnant woman of four or five months. The pain was indescribable. I could neither stand nor lie down.
That evening, I walked to the balcony and sat down on a bench. As I watched the quiet night sky, I thought, “Sentient beings are waiting to be saved right now! How can I save them in this condition! I am entrusted with the mission of saving sentient beings and I must complete it!” On the morning of May 27, two fellow practitioners came to my home to study the Fa with me. I was very anxious as they both were over 70 years old and it was not easy for them to get to my house on a crowded bus. I felt the need to ask Teacher for help.
I said to Teacher in my heart, “Teacher, I have failed to meet the standard of a cultivator. The evil has taken advantage of me and I cannot find the source of error. Teacher, please help your disciple! Things cannot be delayed. The evil must not achieve its goal.” I closed my eyes and started to recite Lunyu repeatedly.
As I recited Lunyu, a Falun with golden light circled around me. I knew that this was Teacher enlightening me and I firmly believed that Teacher was beside me. I began sending forth righteous thoughts. Even though I had flaws in my cultivation, I was Teacher's disciple. I did not recognize the persecution; Teacher did not recognize the persecution. The evil had interfered in my doing of the three things. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eradicate the evil. I felt I was standing righteously between heaven and earth and the power of Dafa.
Help from Fellow Practitioners
A fellow practitioner came the next morning. I bore the pain to go to the front gate. After opening the door, I walked slowly back to the house and sat down. Seeing me in so much pain, the practitioner asked, “Should we first study the Fa or send forth righteous thoughts?” I replied, “Let’s study the Fa first.” We thus began to read Zhuan Falun.
I endured the pain to finish reading Lecture Nine with the practitioner. I said, “I cannot bear it any longer.” At that, the practitioner exclaimed, “Something is wrong with what you just said! Who cannot endure it any longer? Is it the evil that cannot hold on? Or it is you who cannot hold on? Isn't this the evil interfering with us?” The practitioner spoke with a very serious expression and strong righteous thoughts. I knew this was Teacher using this practitioner's mouth to enlighten me.
I suddenly realized that I had inadvertently said things not from the Fa. The other practitioner said, “Whenever a one encounters tribulation, practitioners should study the Fa together, share their experiences, look inward for the problem, and send forth righteous thoughts. Then the problem will be solved.” The practitioner gave me a few examples. One example greatly enlightened me. The practitioner said, “Once, a senior practitioner was tailed by two 610 Office agents. They followed her to a conference hall. When she arrived at the hall, as soon as she opened the door, she said, ‘Two 610 Office agents are following me and are outside.’ No one paid any attention to her. When the meeting started, the two agents got scared and left.”
Hearing this story, I thought, “If I was in the meeting hall, I probably would have blamed the senior practitioner. That was for certain.” Thinking of this, my thoughts and notions changed. While listening to the fellow practitioner talk about the situation, I found I was using a different mindset from that of other practitioners in the conference. I was still using a human mindset to look at a problem.
I suddenly remembered one thing. I said to the other practitioner, “I've finally found the root of my problem. Some time ago in May when I attended a group Fa study, an elderly practitioner suddenly had symptoms of stroke. She couldn't speak or move the right side of her body. She was admitted to a hospital. I said to the others, 'What kind of cultivation has she been following? How does she cultivate?' I commented on how wrong she was and how she did not do things according to the Fa, and so on. My words were critical and full of accusation. Were any of my attitudes, words, and deeds toward the practitioner based on the Fa? Wasn’t this a loophole for the evil to take advantage of? It wasn’t the fellow practitioner having a problem. The problem was me. When I had solved the problem, the practitioner's problem was also solved along with it.” The fellow practitioner said, “Yes, it is correct when your understanding comes from the perspective of the Fa.” After sending forth righteous thoughts at noon, the fellow practitioner asked before leaving, “Should I find a few practitioners to help you send forth righteous thoughts?” I said, “Don’t trouble them. I have Teacher and I have the Fa. There won't be a problem.” The practitioner left with apprehension.
A Miracle Happened When My Notion Changed
After studying the Fa in the morning, I tried to connect a printer to the computer to print truth-clarifying materials for the next day. After much effort I was still unable to connect the two pieces of equipment together.
The next morning, things had turned around, the printer was working, and my constipation had disappeared. I was able to stand and sit again. At noon, after sending righteous thoughts, I sat in front of the computer and started working. Soon, a fellow practitioner came to fetch the materials. I had her wait just a little while for the printing to finish and then gave her the materials without any problem.
I studied the Fa and made truth-clarifying material as usual. It was a miracle.
From this experience, I have gained the following understanding: Human mentality formed in the ordinary society became a real obstacle in my cultivation! When I had resentment toward fellow practitioners and criticized them, I did not have a clear understanding that these resentments, criticisms, and complaints were the products of a corrupt mind. I was taken advantage of by the evil through my error. I held onto human attachments and a human mentality instead of safeguarding the Fa. It was under Teacher's compassion that I could do away with the evil's interference.
