(Clearwisdom.net)
What is forbearance? In my opinion, forbearance means that when we see a fellow practitioner's shortcomings, we are not attached to the other's shortcomings, but look inward instead. It's possible that this practitioner may not have enlightened to a certain thing, thus we should tell him with compassion. Even if the other person doesn't accept it, we should remain calm and unaffected, as he or she will understand it sooner or later. After all, cultivation is voluntary and everyone cultivates oneself; thus, we cannot require from others that they enlighten to the same principles as we have.
I'd like to mention some of my experiences regarding this. My husband is lazy; he likes to watch TV in bed and avoids helping with housework, child care, etc. He even required of me that I take care of matters for his parents.
In the beginning, I could not get over it and tried to talk with him about the principles of conduct, but he refused to listen. I knew that my intent was to change him so that I could benefit from it. I asked myself: “What is the purpose of my cultivation? One aspect is to save sentient beings. However if people around me cannot see the elevation of my realm, how can I save others?”
So, I decided to act according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, instead of trying to change him. No matter how he behaved, I remained unaffected and only cultivated myself. I ignored his shortcomings, truly treated him well with all my heart and shared his emotions. Meanwhile, I adhered to my own principles, and thought that he must respect my beliefs. He could criticize me if I did not do something well, but not restrict my activities. As a result, my husband truly changed and behaved better and better. Now, he supports my cultivation and helps me to spread the Fa.
An elderly practitioner in our area used to be an assistant at a practice site before the persecution started. All these years, she kept saying that she was followed and monitored (by the police), and did not listen to other practitioners. I really disliked her. Once, I visited my mother-in-law, who lives in the countryside. No practitioners live in that area and only a few truth clarification materials are available there. While I was there, I ran into this elderly practitioner. It suddenly occurred to me that if she lived in my mother-in-law's area, wouldn't people there have the chance to be saved? At that moment, I suddenly realized how precious a Dafa practitioner is, regardless of what shortcomings he or she has. When we start our cultivation as humans, we always have shortcomings.
We often hold on to other practitioners' attachments. We hope others can improve in their cultivation and do well, yet we fail to look inward and wonder: “Why did I see his attachment?” If we can truly look inward when being faced with others' shortcomings, we will realize that this is actually an opportunity for us to improve in our cultivation.
The above is my personal understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
