Breaking Through the Test of Life and Death by Keeping Master’s Words in Mind at All Times
(Clearwisdom.net) During the past two years, several practitioners in my area have passed away with symptoms of serious illnesses. In general, they seemed to be diligent practitioners, however. I also recently experienced the test of life and death, and I would like to share my experience with fellow practitioners. Please kindly point out anything improper.
1. What Is Owed Must Be Paid For
Master has taught us the Fa principle that what is owed must be paid for. Since we practice cultivation, Master has eliminated most of our karma. But we still need to suffer a little bit, and there may also be symptoms of illnesses at every level.
I felt a bit uncomfortable on the evening of January 15 this year, and didn’t feel better on the following morning. However, I didn’t pay attention to it. I still went out to meet some old colleagues and clarified the truth about Falun Gong to them. Everyone praised how healthy I looked and that I had delicate and reddish-white skin.
When I returned home in the evening, the uncomfortable feeling suddenly turned into symptoms of a severe headache and angina. I felt as if my brain was bursting and someone was dragging me by my heart, causing me incredible pain. A toothache also began at this moment, making me shake all over.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t stay in bed and wait for someone to take care of me. My husband had been ill in bed, and I needed to help him turn over, use the rest room, and change clothes. My 94-year-old mother lived with us, and I also needed to take care of her for her daily needs and bathing. In addition, I was in charge of the shopping and cooking for my whole family, as well as picking up my grandson and granddaughter. Although I was experiencing such severe pains, I still had to do these things well. When I assisted my husband with changing his clothes in the evening, I felt as if a huge mountain was pressing down on my head.
The pains all over my body, along with my burdensome tasks, overwhelmed me, making me feel like I could no longer continue functioning.
When I reached my limit for the pain, all kinds of human thoughts rushed out, including detestation, grievances, and complaints. However, I thought only of Master’s Fa. Everything has its karmic relationship. Everything that a cultivator encounters is not accidental. Master said, “It is forbidden for you not to suffer even a little bit.” ("Lecture Two" in Zhuan Falun) Therefore, I said to Master, “Master, I’ll pay for what I owe.” I kept only Master’s Fa in my mind, and I treated the tribulation with a cultivator’s state of mind.
My face swelled due to the severe pain and soon became misshapen. The left side of my face was so swollen that it covered my nose and extended to the right side of my face. This made me recall that when I practiced other qigong in the past, I had cured facial nerve paralysis for others. I ignorantly created karma for myself, and it was also something I should repay.
While in the tribulation, my family worried about me very much. My daughter said, “You neither take any medicine nor go to hospital. Please hurry and ask Master to help you eliminate the karma.” I said, “No. I can't ask Master for help. Seeing us suffer pain, Master feels more unwell than us. I should pay for what I owe.”
The severe pains lasted for six days. On the sixth day, I felt significantly better. Some practitioners came to visit me. When I shared the experience, they all said, “You have passed the test of life and death.”
2. Settling with Benevolent Solutions
Unexpectedly, a more serious test came later. At around 10:00 a.m. on January 24, I suddenly had difficulty breathing, as if someone was dragging me by my neck backwards with a cord. I insisted on finishing the cooking, and then I dropped onto the bed. Both the headache and chest pain returned, bringing me much more severe and non-stop pain. I felt so much pain that I shouted out. To avoid disturbing the neighbors, I put a towel over my mouth.
I dropped down onto the bed from the severe pain, and I rolled around on the floor. It was so intensely painful that I couldn’t open my mouth and was unable to say anything. I am one who can bear hardships with strong endurance. (Two years ago, I had six teeth extracted without taking any anesthetic.) My husband said this time, “I have never seen you suffer pain like this.” He and my mother both sat on the floor, looking at me in great suspense.
The idea of death came to my mind again and again. At this moment, dying seemed much easier than living. Every time the idea of death came to me, I totally denied it. “I cannot die. I am a Dafa disciple. I can't bring a bad effect to Dafa.” I said to Master in my heart, “Master, I must break through this test. I’ll pay for what I owe.” While only vaguely conscious, I saw the karma I created in my previous lives, and I realized that the creditor had come for repayment. I then sincerely told the creditor about Master’s Fa principle of settling things with benevolent solutions, “Please forgive me. I committed bad deeds before when I was in delusion, which created karma. I am very sorry. Your resentment will be benevolently resolved. I can't do that, but my Master will definitely do it.”
A practitioner came to visit me. I told her not to eliminate it. Instead, I chose to settle it with a benevolent resolution.
I continued talking with the creditor for two hours. Afterwards, I told the creditor, “You have caused me physical and mental suffering for several days. I have endured and paid for what I owed. You want my flesh body, but it is useless to you. The life that I have cultivated well is something you are not able to touch. If you don't listen to the persuasion, I will have to eliminate you in the end.” (Dafa disciples have the important mission to save sentient beings, therefore we cannot lose our flesh bodies.)
Soon after I delivered this ultimatum, I felt numbness and swelling on the sides of my head. Things seemed to be leaving my head one by one; lives left me level by level. At that moment, my mother also saw a woman with short hair going out of my room. The severe pain was immediately greatly relieved. I no longer felt pain in my head. However, I was still very weak. I was overwhelmed with a kind of chill, and my teeth were chattering. It was as Master said,
“The cause of your illness has been removed, and what remains is only this bit of black qi that will come out on its own.” ("Lecture Two" in Zhuan Falun)
3. With Fa in the Heart, Nothing Can Block Us
During the three-hour struggle of life and death, I settled the debt of resentment with benevolent solutions and saved my flesh body as well. Life or death came from that instant thought. The key was whether that thought complied with the Fa.
Regarding how to treat tribulations, Master said,
“You yourselves have to pay for what you owe. Hurry up and pay for it! Hurry up and pay for it, and only this way can I save you as quickly as possible. Isn’t that the principle? I’m speaking from another perspective about compassion and what compassion is.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland”)
Some practitioners only want to use righteous thoughts to eliminate evil whenever they suffer something on their bodies. They don’t want to pass the test and pay what they owe. However, the principles of the universe are balanced. Everyone needs to pay what they owe. Otherwise, the creditors are not satisfied. We can’t just let Master endure whatever we should repay by ourselves during the period of Fa-rectification.
Master has taught us the Fa principle of settling things with benevolent solutions. However, we have often used sending righteous thoughts when facing the test of life and death, and we called on many practitioners to help, considering the test as interference and persecution. However, we often don’t think of the karma we previously created and the harm we caused to other beings. What pain that being suffered! In addition, it complies with the principle of the universe, that the creditor asks for repayment. Maybe we were not sincere enough when using benevolent solutions in the past.
Master has told us to completely deny all of the old forces’ arrangements during the persecution. So we should follow Master’s words. Even though we may have signed an agreement with the old forces, we should still deny it and break away. Master has taught us the Fa principle of settling things with benevolent solutions while we endure the test of life and death. We should use this Fa principle. The power of Dafa is boundless, and as cultivators we should keep the Fa in mind and use well the Fa principles. I therefore said to fellow practitioners who came to send forth righteous thoughts for me, “In the past I harmed that being. If we harm her again or eliminate her now, it is unfair for her. The creditor also has a kind side. As long as the creditor doesn’t oppose Dafa or destroy Dafa, shouldn’t we use benevolent solutions to settle with her?”
While suffering severe pains during this tribulation, my head was filled with different thoughts. I was struggling intensely at every second. For a while, it was human thinking, and for another while, it was what Master taught us. From this experience, I enlightened that we should change our human notions and minds, and consider things from the Fa--as cultivators. We shouldn’t let human notions limit us in this human space. An everyday person can't break through such a hard tribulation. But as cultivators, nothing can block us as long as we keep the Fa in our hearts. If we do not stay in the Fa, a bad thought might lead to our losing the flesh body in an instant, leaving an irreparable regret.
This is my current understanding. I hope fellow practitioners will kindly point out whatever is improper.