Selection from Call for Articles: I Chose to Live When I Was On the Brink of Death Due to Persecution
(Clearwisdom.net) In the past few years of my cultivation, I have gone through many tribulations. No matter what has happened, I have always been convinced that I descended to this world to help Teacher in Fa rectification. To that end, I must assimilate myself to the Fa. Only by assimilating to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance can I save sentient beings. No matter how severe the persecution, I would never say anything against my will. Otherwise, I would not be able to save the world's people around me.
On April 23, 2004, I was handcuffed and hung up from a window in a labor camp for seven days. During that time, I experienced great pain and miracles, which happened when my righteous thoughts as a Dafa practitioner overwhelmed the Chinese Communist Party (CCP)'s torture.
After hanging for 144 hours, I was in a coma and on the brink of death. Early on the seventh day, I realized without much concern that I was dying. After a while, I sensed that my soul flew out of my feeble physical body. I saw many long desks by the window and I tried to look for some clothes in the desks. Soon I regained consciousness and asked myself where I was. This immediately made me recall my past.
I was ill since the day I was born. During my 20s, I was so ill that I could not straighten up to do even the lightest housework. After I was married, I had bad relationship with my in-laws. I thought I had married the wrong person and my relationship with my husband worsened. Not seeing the meaning of my life, I spent my days playing cards despite my bad health. On May 20, 1998, I asked a neighbor of mine to play cards with me but she said to me, “I cannot play with you because I have learned Falun Gong and I will read the Falun Gong books today. You are so ill. Why don't you try it, too?” I followed her advice and started practicing Falun Gong the next day. After that, I kept reading the Falun Gong books and doing the exercises outdoors with fellow practitioners, no matter what the weather was like. Not long after that I cleared out all the medicine that I had and refrained from using any medicines or injections. I also gave up cards and tried to do more housework. My life became meaningful and I got along with my family. Seeing the big changes in me, my family and colleagues alike praised Falun Gong.
“Do you still refuse to write the repentance statements to denounce Falun Gong? If not, we will hang you up for a whole year.” An angry voice broke my thoughts and I sensed someone had shoved me. I regained full consciousness right away, and the acute pain that permeated my bones and even my very cells came back. I saw my right hand had turned gray. The excruciating pain in my hands made my head hurt, too. I hit my head against the barred window in agony. The stench of excrement filled the room because I was never allowed to go to the toilet during the torture.
It was below zero in winter. I had been forced to stand for 72 hours and then hung from the window for 144 hours. This was an informal interrogation room in the labor camp that had been restructured from my confinement room nine days before. There was a table, a bed and a chair before, and inmates Zhou and Deng were assigned to watch me closely. They followed the prison guards' orders. At first, they pretended to be good to me in their attempts to persuade me to give up practicing Falun Gong. They promised that they would supply me with nice food and take me to doctors to get looked at. They spoke to me in a friendly manner to disguise their desperation to turn me against my belief in Falun Gong. I responded, “I have done nothing wrong by practicing Falun Gong. I will sue the 610 Office for arresting me.” This threw them into a frenzy and they gave up pretending to be nice. They removed the bed, table, and chair from my room and put up posters slandering Falun Gong all over the walls. They drew a circle in the room and forced me to stand in the center. If I moved just the slightest, I would incur violent beatings. Yet I overlooked the torture and kept reciting the Fa, just like “By having your heart unaffected will you be able to handle all situations.” I stood for 48 hours but I did not feel tired at all. On the third day, I asked for their permission to go to the toilet but they would not give it. At night I headed for the toilet but personal monitors stopped me. When they dragged me back to my room, they hurt my mouth. Afterwards, the guards escalated the torture by handcuffing me and hanging me from the cold bars on the window.
The first two days I was hung up like that, the guards allowed me to relieve myself with my hands cuffed. They ordered the personal monitors to hold the slop bucket. Later, they ordered the personal monitors to give me water and food but would not let me urinate. They ordered inmates to put up cardboard on the barred window. They claimed that it would keep the cold air from going through the window, but their real intention was to hide how they were torturing me from the people outside who worked in a workshop at the labor camp. I asked for permission to go to the toilet, but the guards said, “It is a rule here to not let you go to the toilet.” When the guards were not present, the personal monitors claimed that I would not be allowed to go to the toilet if I refused to write a repentance statement. I said, “I would rather die from being hung up than write such a statement.”
During the next four days, I had to relieve myself in my pants. The monitors verbally abused me when they smelled the stench but I simply did not answer them. The pain expanded and intensified. Gradually, my hands and body became numb.
From the fifth day onwards, I became very feeble and lost consciousness off and on. I did not feel cold, warmth, or pain. One time, I felt like I was floating in a cloud, looking down at the earth. I saw someone handcuffed to a window with two people chatting pleasantly by her side. I kept floating, not knowing where I was going. I asked, “Teacher, where am I now?”
The personal monitors were afraid that I might die and pushed me every few minutes. After I regained consciousness, I felt very cold and trembled, and kept spitting up mucus. The personal monitors ordered me to swallow the mucus, but I simply spat it out. My mind was still very clear.
During the 144 hours I was hung up like that, I clenched my teeth and kept sending forth right thoughts and reciting the Fa.
In the afternoon on the seventh day, my entire body became numb. A bit later, I found myself sitting in a circle of white light. I knew it was not a dream or a delusion, as my mind was very clear at the time. I could see clearly my physical body, leaning against the wall with her hands cuffed to the window. In the circle of light, I could sense no pain, and around the circle were white clouds floating. It felt magnificent and divine. I was sending forth strong righteous thoughts and reciting verses from Hong Yin:
“To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,
Let joy be found in hardship.”
(“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)
I recited the verses one by one and melted into the Fa. With a clear mind, I realized that I still had many things to do in the mundane world. So I said to Teacher, “Teacher, I will not let go of my physical body because I still have many sentient beings to save. My family members are waiting for me to save them. I cannot die.”
Just then, I found myself outside the circle of light, and I immediately realized that I had came back to my physical body. Instantly, I felt my handcuffs come apart. I fell, my feet on the ground, and I leaned forward in one or two steps, but I did not fall down. With a clear mind and in a noble manner, I was on my feet steadily. The personal monitors were very surprised, saying they had never seen anyone stand on her feet after being released from hanging for such a long time.
Many years have elapsed since this incident, but I still find it really miraculous when I remember it. From it, I can see that we Dafa practitioners are supposed to save sentient beings in this mundane world, and the miracle was undoubtedly the manifestation of the mighty power of Teacher. Just like the verse,
“When disciples have ample righteous thoughts
Master has the power to turn back the tide”
”Master-Disciple Grace,” Hong Yin II
Selected from “Call for Articles about Divine Occurrences in the Human World”