My Life Was Given By Dafa (Part 2)
Part 1: http://www.clearwisdom.net/html/articles/2011/11/24/129679.html )
(Clearwisdom.net) Excerpt: I didn't guard my xinxing well or know that I should save sentient beings because I didn't have a group Fa-study environment. However, if people said negative things about Falun Gong, I would tell them that Falun Gong is not like what is said on TV. I used to be very sick for three years and it was Falun Gong that saved me. Whoever said Falun Gong was bad, I would read a paragraph from Zhuan Falun to them. They would be embarrassed and told me to pay attention to safety.
- By the author
Falling Behind as Attachments Arose and Receiving Multiple Hints from Teacher
Things suddenly changed. On July 20, 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began its campaign to suppress and slander Dafa and Teacher. Many practitioners were arrested. At that time, I was teaching the Falun Dafa exercises to new practitioners in a village. However, they stopped practicing once the persecution began because they couldn't understand the situation. The head of the village reported practitioners' names to the police. I was staying at a fellow practitioner's home when he came to “talk” to me. I told him about how I had suffered miserably for three years and it was only from practicing Falun Gong that my illnesses disappeared. I also told him that everything said on TV about the practice wasn't true. I was a beneficiary of Dafa. I had my own experiences and Dafa gave me a second chance in life. He left after sitting a while longer.
Shortly after, my son moved his business to a different city and I went with him. There, I didn't know any practitioners. Some had been arrested and others didn't go out to do the exercises. I had to study the Fa and do the exercises by myself. Ever since I recovered from my illnesses, I thought about going back to work so that I wouldn't have to live off my children. I then opened a store. When there was work to do, I would do it. When there wasn't any work to do, I studied the Fa or did the exercises. I didn't guard my xinxing well or know that I should save sentient beings because I didn't have a group Fa-study environment. However, if people said negative things about the practice, I would tell them that Falun Gong is not like what is said on TV. I used to be very sick for three years and it was Falun Gong that saved me. Whoever said Falun Gong was bad, I would read a paragraph from Zhuan Falun to them. They would be embarrassed and told me to pay attention to safety.
One day, two ladies said to me, “That person looks like a practitioner. She behaves senselessly.” I knew that Teacher was testing me, to see if I had the courage to validate the Fa. I said to them, “I am a Falun Gong practitioner. Do I look strange?” At that time, although I didn't know the Tiananmen self-immolation incident was staged by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), I still talked to them about it. I told them I only knew that a true practitioner wouldn't commit suicide since Teacher has stated clearly, “Therefore, committing suicide is sinful.” (“Lecture in Sydney”) Practitioners didn't even want to kill mosquitoes and flies, why would they kill their own child? Also what Wang Jindong, one of the self-immolators, said was not from Dafa either. After hearing my explanations, the two women left.
My neighbor heard what I had said and suggested that I stop talking to people about it. I knew that she was just trying to protect me. I also knew that I had Teacher's protection and no one could hurt me. At the new city, I didn't have any information about practitioners or Teacher, nor did I realize that I should go out to clarify the truth.
A practitioner from the capital city of our province called me. She told me that she wanted to go to Beijing to validate the Fa. She asked if I wanted to join her. Out of fear, I said no. I was very sad after hanging up the phone. That night, I kept crying when doing the exercises. I felt that I was not worthy of being saved by Teacher. Dafa had given me so much, yet I couldn't even say a fair word for Dafa. Was I still a practitioner? Later, that practitioner and my sister went to Beijing and they were arrested. My sister was detained for more than a year. After she was released, she came to my home. She brought Teacher's new articles, truth-clarification banners and the formula for sending righteous thoughts. I went out at around 9:00 p.m. that day and put up all the banners. I knew that Teacher had protected me.
I was not serious about sending forth righteous thoughts, so I only did it a few times and stopped. Gradually there was more interference and I began to fall in cultivation since I couldn't pay attention to my xinxing. Eventually, I was not serious about cultivation anymore and stopped doing the exercises for a while. One morning when I woke up, I saw a golden Falun rotating in front of my eyes. I could clearly see the inside of the four Taiji symbols. They were rotating both clockwise and counter-clockwise. I said to myself, “Isn't this Falun?” It was so beautiful, glowing with golden light. I then thought highly of myself since I could still see the Falun after I had stopped doing the exercises for many days. I didn't realize that Teacher was giving me a hint to continue cultivating.
Later my daughter had a child with a congenital disease. I told my daughter that I could take care of the baby. I played Pudu/Jishi to the baby and her illness was miraculously cured. I watched the baby as I was taking care of my store. I was so busy that I had no time to study the Fa or do the exercises. Gradually I fell further, but I still had Dafa in my heart. Although I didn't do the exercises or study the Fa, I sat in meditation for half-an-hour before going to sleep every day. This lasted for two years. Finally I stopped doing the meditation before going to sleep and completely became an everyday person.
However, benevolent Teacher didn't give up on me. Once, a friend took me to church without letting me know. When I asked her where she was taking me, she wouldn't tell me. When we arrived at the church, she gave me a Bible. A thought immediately came to my mind, “I practice Falun Gong. Why should I come here?” As someone walked to the podium, I thought of Teacher's words,
“If you listen to them, bad things will enter your ears.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
At that moment, my cell phone rang. I answered the phone and walked outside. It was my daughter. She said she just wanted to talk to me. Teacher saw that I still had Dafa in my heart, so he helped me out. I was very grateful to Teacher's help.
At the end of 2007, the migraine that I used to suffer from recurred again. It was so painful that I had a hard time eating and sleeping. I couldn't bear it any longer after more than ten days. Although I knew that it was Falun Gong that had cured my illnesses, I still went to the hospital for acupuncture treatments for five days. I had fallen so far in cultivation, it became hard for me to return. However, the acupuncture didn't help. I then thought about doing the Falun Dafa exercises again. After doing the exercises, the pain stopped. I knew that Teacher used this to wake me up to return to Dafa. Since then, I have been doing the exercises every day. However, I couldn't concentrate on studying the Fa with a calm mind because I still hadn't raised my xinxing level.
At that time, two of my relatives also began practicing Dafa again. In 2008, Practitioner A from another city brought Teacher's new articles and other materials, including the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. We distributed them all. Later, my sister brought more truth-clarification materials to us. Seeing the wonderful Dafa books and materials, I admired the practitioners who made them. I regretted that I didn't stay with the progress of Fa-rectification and wasted so much time. I was not worthy of Teacher's benevolent salvation. I must be diligent to make up for the lost time and walk well the path arranged by Teacher, as I want to follow Teacher home. I asked Teacher to strengthen my resolve.
I began to read all of Teacher's Fa lectures and understood that Fa-rectification Period Dafa Disciples shoulder great responsibility. If we want to walk well our path and save more sentient beings, we must study the Fa well and send forth righteous thoughts often. I then memorized Hong Yin and Hong Yin Volume II. I also memorized half of Essentials for Further Advancement.
When I came back to Dafa again, I also found the Falun pin that I had misplaced. During the period when I stopped cultivating, I had pinned it inside my coat pocket and put the coat away. Later, I couldn't find the pin no matter where I searched. I thought that Teacher might have taken it back after seeing that I was no longer a practitioner, so I didn't deserve to keep it. After I began practicing again, I looked inside the coat pocket and there it was! I was grateful that Teacher gave it to me again. Thank you Teacher! I will cherish the Falun pin and Dafa more!
Establishing a Family Materials Production Center and Eliminating Human Attachments
I did the three things with fellow practitioners every day. My schedule was tight. We relied on my sister to bring the truth-clarification materials from far away, and then my relatives and I went out to distribute them. The materials were quickly gone. In addition, my sister had to spend several hundred yuan for each trip. This arrangement was too costly, unsafe and time-consuming. My sister suggested that I set up a truth-clarification center at my home. I refused to do so out of fear. I gave her many excuses such as not having room to store the materials, not wanting to let my son worry, etc. I ended up saying, “These might all be human thoughts.” My sister replied, “Yes, you are right. They are.” I just couldn't do it since my xinxing was not at that level. I felt that there were a lot of difficulties. One day Practitioner A brought 2,000 yuan to us. She said a practitioner donated the money for us to buy a printer. I felt that I had a day-time job, so I didn't have time to take care of a materials production center. A few days later, as I kept doing the three things, my xinxing elevated. I called Practitioner A to tell her that I wanted to set up a materials production site in my home. I asked her not to return to her city until she taught me how to do it. When the materials were being printed, I was so happy. I should have done it earlier to reduce the burden on other practitioners.
I worked during the day and produced truth-clarification materials at night. It worked out well at first. Later, problems started showing up. I kept sending righteous thoughts but there was no improvement. I had to stand by the printer all night so that I could stay focused when making the materials. I could only make 30-50 pamphlets a night. I knew I should look within whenever there was an issue. I tried to find my gap. I kept sending righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors in other dimensions that interfered with my producing truth-clarifying materials to save people.
Teacher told us,
“Do you realize that as long as you’re a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across—even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are—to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what’s most important.” ("Further Understanding" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that I had an attachment to how much materials I can produce. When the computer and printer had problems, I became impatient and frustrated. Teacher saw it and wanted to help me to get rid of it. Even though I worked the whole night, it wasn't productive. I hadn't slept for several nights and my body couldn't handle it anymore. I felt that I was weak and sweating during the day. It was already hard to stay focused when studying the Fa at work during the day, much less when I was sleepy. I wanted to lay down, but I couldn't do that in my store all the time. I truly experienced the hardship that practitioners who worked at the materials production center endured. Later, I heard from the store owner who sold us the printer that paper jams were a common problem for the printer we bought. We distributed materials involving many practitioners several times a month, and each practitioner frequently distributed materials on their own. The printer couldn't keep up with our distribution demand. Practitioner A exchanged her printer with me. I was so happy because the paper didn't get jammed in the new printer and it printed much faster. I knew that I shouldn't be overjoyed. I could produce four or five times more materials in a day than before. When I started printing “Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference,” I accidentally stepped on the power cord and it came unplugged, so the printer stopped printing. I didn't know what to do. This was Teacher's Fa lecture! I thought, “The long distance call to A would be very expensive. Why didn't I learn it from her before?” Then I thought, “This is Teacher's Fa lecture. It can't be measured by money.” I called Practitioner A immediately. Following her instructions, I was able to complete the printing. I looked within and realized that it was because of my attachment to being too happy about getting a better printer. I realized that producing truth-clarification materials was also a process to get rid of attachments. Everything was caused by my attachment. Thank you Teacher for letting me realize this.
Identifying Attachments When Distributing Truth-Clarification Materials
Whenever I did the fifth meditation exercise, I often saw visions of students carrying their backpack walking, lining up, or roller-skating. I wondered why I always saw students. With this thought, I saw a line of red words in front of my eyes. I could see only the word in the middle that read “Children.” I realized that Teacher was asking me to save students and children.
At first, I felt it was hard. Then I thought, “Isn't it also hard for Teacher to give us hints and save us time and time again? I must do it after I was told to do it.” I printed truth-clarification materials appropriate for children such as “The Secret of Maintaining Good Moral Standards and Grades,” “Story of a Bird,” and “The Green School.” I also prepared materials for teachers such as “A Letter to the Education Sector” and “Words to Teachers from the Bottom of My Heart.” I first left these materials in the students' and teachers' bicycle baskets and put up fliers inside the school. Many times, after I had just posted the fliers, the students went to read them and didn't tear them down. I went to the school many times. Once, when school was almost out, I started sending righteous thoughts to eliminate factors in other dimensions that interfered with save sentient beings at the school. I also asked Teacher to strengthen me. When the students came out, I walked towards them and handed out the materials. They asked me what it was and I told them it was good for them. They all took it. At the school's gate, two small boys ran towards me. I heard someone say, “It's her.” I turned around. The two boys stopped and were too shy to speak. I understood right away that they were asking me for the materials. I had handed out all the materials except the Shen Yun performance VCDs. I gave them each a copy. They left happily and got on a bus. There were many people in front of the school, including Teachers and parents, but they acted as if they didn't see anything. I walked inside the school while sending righteous thoughts and handing out the Shen Yun VCDs. I knew it was because of Teacher that I was able to distribute the materials without any problems. Teacher made them unable to see me.
I sent forth righteous thoughts at home first before I went to the students' dormitories to distribute the materials. I went to the seven rooms while the students went to class. I left materials on their beds, pillows and in their desks. Once some students were playing nearby, so I sent righteous thoughts to let them go to the front of the school. When they ran to the front, I was able to go to the rooms to leave the materials. I finished distributing all the materials quickly.
One day, I thought that the teachers should also be saved. They often held tutorial classes during the winter and summer break, so the school's gate was always open. I went into the school building and left truth-clarification materials under the door of each classroom. I had been to this school many times. Once when I went there, two students with red banners on their shoulders were standing at each side of the school gate. I didn't think much about it, except that no one should keep me from saving sentient beings. I continuously sent righteous thoughts while walking past the gate. When I entered the building, I saw a man walking in the hallway. He didn't see me. I walked past him and went up to the top floor of the school to start passing out the materials. I left a package beneath the door of each room. I also saw some teachers in a room, but they didn't see me. At the second floor, I went to where I last finished. One of the students who stood at the gate came up and looked at me surprisingly. The man on the first floor also looked around, but I just walked behind him and left the school. With Teacher's help, I distributed the materials smoothly. I knew all these were actually done by Teacher.
I still had some materials left, so I went to another school where I had distributed materials several times before. I saw that two students were on guard and a woman was watching from inside the building. After looking at them for a bit, I headed home. On my way home I thought, “The settings were the same between the two schools. Why were there different results?” Looking within, I had strong righteous thoughts when I went to the first school. However, my righteous thoughts became less when I walked to the second school. As practitioners, we need to have strong righteous thoughts to do everything. To walk well Teacher's arranged path, we must have righteous thoughts and righteous actions all the time.
I also went with other practitioners to distribute truth-clarification materials at night. Once I went with two practitioners to a residential neighborhood. There were doors along the street. Usually, we had two practitioners put materials beneath the doors on each side of the street, while the third practitioner posted up flyers on the walls. This way we would cover the neighborhood on that street with one trip. After doing it for a short while, I couldn't find the other two practitioners. It was very dark. I started looking for them. Then I saw two people on another street and chased after them without knowing if it was them. However, the two people disappeared. If I had just distributed the materials on the side I was assigned to, I wouldn't miss the other side. I started complaining, “Why is it like this?” I was in a poor state and brought the materials home. Later, the two practitioners went back to finish distributing the materials. I was unhappy and criticized them. Actually I was in the wrong. That night, when I sat in meditation, I saw a sweeper wearing twisted clothes. I realized that Teacher was hinting to me that my thinking was twisted, and that's why I didn't work well with others. Shortly after, I saw a soap with five holes. I realized that I had loopholes. Then I saw a ruler break in half and the two pieces moved together to form the ruler. I realized that Teacher was telling me to collaborate well with fellow practitioners to form one body. Thank you Teacher, for letting me see my many shortcomings. This also helped me realize that Teacher was watching and protecting me all the time.
Distributing Shen Yun Performance VCDs
At first I felt it was hard to distribute Shen Yun VCDs because I was an introvert and didn't want to talk to strangers. I sent forth righteous thoughts for a while before talking to two elderly women. They didn't want to take the VCDs, so I became upset. As I kept cultivating, sending righteous thoughts and improving my xinxing, it got progressively better. Many people took the VCDs. Initially, I could distribute 60 copies in two and a half hours. Next time, I gave out 70 copies in less than two and a half hours. Then I distributed 100 copies in two hours. I seldom ran into people who didn't want to take the VCD. Many people would thank me. One taxi driver kept thanking me and told me that he had watched it last year, too. I wished him well and he thanked me. I told myself not to be overjoyed. I knew that everything was done by Teacher. I experienced again what Teacher said in “The Master-Disciple Bond” from Hong Yin Volume II:
“When disciples have ample righteous thoughts
Master has the power to turn back the tide”
Seventy-Year-Old Woman Is Free of Illness After Practicing Dafa for a Month
An elderly woman in her seventies was bedridden for three years due to her illnesses, so her 75-year-old husband had to take care of her. Teacher hinted to me to clarify the truth to their daughter. I told her about Falun Dafa and my positive experiences. She said, “I'll give you my mother's address. Please tell her this.” I then went to see her parents. At first, they didn't want to listen to what I had to say. Then I started to tell the elderly woman some of Teacher's Fa. She couldn't read, so I gave her an MP3 player with Teacher's lectures. When she heard Teacher talking about “no loss, no gain,” she insisted on giving me money to pay for the MP3 player. She also wanted to do the Falun Gong exercises, but she couldn't stand or sit up by herself. I told her that as long as she was sincere, Teacher would help her, as Dafa is miraculous. She then leaned against a dresser and began to do the exercises. Each day, she became stronger and healthier. She was gradually able to sit up by herself and then stand without leaning against the dresser. In one month, she was able to walk without a cane and did not need to take any of her medications. When I visited her again, she went to the courtyard to pick some cherries, cucumbers and tomatoes for me. She kept thanking me, but I told her, “If you want to thank someone, please thank Teacher. It's Teacher who purified your body.” She said, “Thank you Teacher!” She told me Teacher hinted to her that she had obtained something so precious. Her children also witnessed the miraculousness of Dafa and told people about Falun Dafa.
During the three years she was bedridden, she told me that every day she cried, “God, please save me. If you cure my illnesses, I will kowtow to you three times a day.” I had also suffered similar pains before, but Teacher has saved us and given us a second chance in life. Several of the people that I talked to have read Zhuan Falun and some have started cultivation.
A few days ago, I went to take care of some business at the capital city of my province. I thought that wherever I go, I should save people. I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Teacher to arrange for me to meet people with predestined relationships. On my way there, I met eight people from other areas also going to the capital city for business. I told them about the wonderfulness of Dafa and gave them Dafa amulets and truth-clarification materials. They all accepted them happily. I am grateful for Teacher's ingenious arrangements. I just did things at the surface level. Actually everything was done by Teacher.
For these many years, every exercise movement follows the mechanism. It is so wonderful that my hands move along with a strong energy flow. I can feel the move of Gong and Falun all the time. I love doing the exercises, which are a joy to me. I feel that I am the luckiest person in the world.
At first it was not this wonderful. I felt a lot of pain and had to bear it with all my strength. I knew that to eliminate the karma I had to suffer hardship. “When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” ("People with Great Inborn Quality," Lecture 9, Zhuan Falun). As I continued doing exercises and cultivating my xinxing, I could sit for two hours six months later. Once I did exercises in a very cold room, but I was sweating a lot. I also sat with my legs double crossed to study a lecture of Zhuan Falun. All these are because of Dafa's mighty power.
When the Seventh Internet Experience Sharing Conference asked practitioners to submit articles, I was given many hints to write an article, but due to my limited education, I couldn't write it myself. I couldn't ask any of my children to write it with me either. So my article dragged on for a long time but still didn't get finished. I said to myself that I must do it earlier the next year. Under Teacher's repeated hints and help, I was able to finish it this time. I have wasted a lot of time during my cultivation. I am not worthy of Teacher's benevolent salvation. My life is given by Dafa. I will use all my life to validate Dafa, save sentient beings, and walk well the final path arranged by Teacher. As you read this article, please point out my gaps.