Changing My Mindset and Not Talking Back
(Clearwisdom.net) After the persecution of Dafa started, in order to counter the persecution, I formed the habit of using preemptive ways against the evil. That is, refuting the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) or those manipulated by it before they began to speak. I was not able to change this habit, even after I returned to cultivation in a normal environment. I developed this defensiveness because I feared that I would be affected by others' human notions. Most of the time I didn't listen to people. I often thought that my ideas were better than others and would not accept their views. When I was being persecuted, many local practitioners were rather numb, and some even spoke for the evil or did things that helped the evil. So I always held a prejudice against them.
Today at group study we finished reading Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun at a little over eight o'clock. So I suggested that we share experiences together, and practitioners started to share. After a while, the topic changed to how to clarify the truth. I listened quietly and carefully, which was a change from the past when I would fight to speak.
What I heard was practitioners accusing each other of not being compassionate when clarifying the truth or of talking too much or at too high a level.
Based on the Fa principle that cultivators should look inward, I felt that they were venting and blaming others and that they lacked compassion towards cultivators. But I thought that, since I'd heard it, there must be something that I should look inward for. So, for the first time, I did not contradict what these practitioners were saying. In the past if I talked back, they would think that they were trying to help others or me to improve and that I did not accept it, so they would get upset and leave.
But today I didn't talk back. For me, it was an excellent opportunity to accept challenging words with a smile and improve my xinxing. From now on I need to try to have a positive attitude when I encounter conflicts. Being kind to others is being kind to oneself.
These are my current understandings. Please point out anything inappropriate.