Finding My True Self after Awakening from a Long Dream
(Clearwisdom.net) A fellow Falun Gong practitioner once told me that she was upset because she had lost money and personal belongings, which had a severe financial impact on her. I suggested that she use her supernormal capabilities to get them back, but she did not believe she had obtained supernormal capabilities yet. I assured her that she had, but she did not believe in herself.
Not long ago I started working for a private corporation. A thermos bottle was stolen from an employee dormitory that I was responsible for. The theft would cause me trouble if I wished to clarify the truth about Falun Gong there. The best solution would be to get the thermos back without anyone knowing about it. I was not in the best cultivation state in those days, but I believed there were Fa-guardian divine beings watching me. After all, I am cultivating in everyday society. Even if my cultivation state might be temporarily less than ideal, I was still a king in another dimension. I sent forth a thought to summon Fa-guardian divine beings to help me find the stolen thermos bottle. That night I dreamt of a colleague at work speaking ill of me before my boss. When I witnessed this, I commented calmly in the dream, "Do you know who I am?" The next day I opened the door to get to work when I saw the missing thermos bottle at the door. (No one else has the key to my unit.)
Yet my supernormal capabilities do not work all the time. One day my wallet was stolen at a supermarket. I lost about 500 yuan, my bank debit card, and IDs. I was pretty upset when it did not work when I tried to use my supernormal capabilities.
One day I learned that a fellow practitioner was arrested for practicing Falun Gong and spreading the truth about it. His computer and other equipment used to produce materials containing important facts about Falun Gong were confiscated. I asked two practitioners to use their supernormal capabilities to get the equipment back to his family, but that did not work either.
I remained confident despite these failures, and I continued to use my supernormal capabilities when I faced similar tribulations. Oftentimes one thought would make it happen, and I could move objects back to me. More than once I could turn one object into another.
My righteous thoughts become increasingly stronger and my human notions weaker. Sometimes when I would dream of troubles, my first thought was to use my supernormal capabilities. If a cultivator does not have the habit of using his supernormal capabilities, he will suffer from severe losses when he faces persecution. Even if he does not face direct persecution, it is a process of purging humanness and walking towards divinity to use his supernormal capabilities.
Why do some practitioners lack confidence in using their supernormal capabilities? Where does that confidence come from? I feel my confidence comes from my true self. "Who am I in the universe, and who is my true self that has come down here?" The songs from the Shen Yun Performing Arts programs awoke us to our memory from a long time ago.
I started practicing Falun Gong in the spring of 1996 when I was only 28 years old. I could not see anything through my Celestial Eye. Shortly after I started practicing, I had an interesting dream. I was sitting in an ancient Chinese courtroom where I was a judge. Two suspects wearing shackles were brought in. A man standing next to me whispered, "They can be released at once if you would grant them clemency." "Clemency?" I exclaimed. "I am not the president, and I do not have the authority to do that." "Yes, you do! You have a celestial world where you reign as the king," the man assured me. I was doubtful despite his assurance. I have the ability to grant clemency? Why not? "I hereby grant clemency to these two people," I announced. Two bailiffs walked up to the two prisoners, removed their shackles, and released them right away. I was surprised and woke up from the dream.
I now realize it was not a dream, but a hint from Teacher of who I actually am. I was still "dreaming" in the secular world. It was high time to be awake. One day I contemplated upon the two Chinese characters, drunk (醉) and awakened (醒). Drunk (醉) consists of the root word "vat" (a metaphor for wine) and "human," while awakened (醒) consists of the root word "star" (a metaphor for divine beings) and "vat." It suddenly dawned on me that a human being must be drunk living in the secular world and a divine being must first be in such an environment to be truly awake.
Our compassionate and magnificent Teacher has repeatedly taught us after the CCP began its suppression of Falun Gong that we practitioners are kings and lords from heavenly paradises on a sacred mission. Each time I study the lectures, I feel Teacher is awakening me repeatedly to my "true self." As I continue to study the Fa and cultivate myself, I feel my "true self" gradually awakening and my existence in this secular world becoming unreal. I once dreamed my true self to be a child standing on a lotus platform with long hair reaching down to my heels. Yet in this world I am already over 40 years old.
I know my human body is no more than a a garment I have been wearing for over 40 years. This "garment" does not have any supernormal capabilities. When I use my supernormal capabilities, the power comes from my true self hidden within the garment. At that moment I feel the "garment" disappearing.
Sometimes when I am out walking and see men and women walking hand-in-hand with a smile on their faces, I feel I am very different from them. Perhaps it's like water going through sea water, a human being cannot tell the difference, but a divine being knows they are two totally different substances. I often pity non-practitioners, as they are enveloped in lust and emotions and do not realize those emotions completely control them throughout their lives. I am no longer controlled by lust or desire, and I feel free. When I think of how I started practicing Falun Gong, my heart is filled with gratitude towards Teacher.
How did I overcome lust and desire? It is a test that every cultivator must prevail over, and the key is to be enlightened to the Fa. Teacher said,
"If you part from it you are no longer a human but a god. When people get attached to emotion they are actually being passive, even though they think they are being active."
("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference")
Studying the Fa has helped me prevail over lust and desire. Men have karma, and lust and desire are demons that were prepared for human beings in the Three Realms. When a person enters puberty, these demons begin to work. They start manipulating a man's body and mind. There is an appropriate Chinese saying for this: "The door to love opens" (情竇初開). It reveals the truth, which people that are lost in the labyrinth of the human world cannot see through. I think a door to lust and desire indeed opens as one enters puberty. From that point forward, a man's life will be forever manipulated by lust and desire. Except for the purpose of creating the next generation, people have to pay back their karma via the demons of lust and desire. Some people feel happiness yet others are tormented, and some are driven mad and some kill themselves for it. If it had not been for Dafa, how many people could prevail over lust and desire? In the history of Chinese literature, people have exclaimed, "What is love? Why do people give up their lives for it?"
Even when I saw through lust and desire, they did not give up. They would try to exploit any loophole in my thoughts. However, as soon as I sensed their presence, my true self would turn into an angry divine being and rebuke them, "Am I an ordinary person? How dare you try to manipulate me? Did I invite you? How dare you come into my realm? Do you not know that coming here uninvited is against the law of the universe? Do you want me to annihilate you?" I immediately sensed the demons shatter and recoil. I felt relieved both mentally and physically.
When I read articles where practitioners confessed they still have an attachment to lust, I knew it was not them. It was the "garment" they wear that was manipulating them. While they are still attached to the "garment," the demons will continue to control them. If the attachment to lust is not purged, no supernormal capability will manifest in this world. This is something a cultivator must purge first, because it differentiates a man from a divine being.