(Clearwisdom.net) I attained the Fa in 1998 and have been cultivating over the past twelve years. Under Teacher's compassionate care and with the cooperation of fellow practitioners, I have remained steadfast throughout the unprecedented persecution.
Attaining the Fa
I was born into an intellectual family, and my education, since childhood, has heavily influenced my personality. I found the books Zhuan Falun, Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa and First Fa Teaching Given in the United States at a relatives' home in April 1998, and read through them within one day.
In my dream that night I heard a loud noise, “bang.” It was Teacher opening my celestial eye. I experienced the power of the Falun, and saw ghouls and a long snake chasing me. I said, “I am not afraid of you because I have Teacher protecting me!” The snake asked for my Teacher's name and then disappeared as soon as I said it.
I was very happy during the first days of attaining this spiritual practice. I got up very early every morning to do the exercises. In the evenings I joined the group Fa study and during the weekends I took part in group activities to spread the practice. I saw Falun spinning around me wherever I went. They were spinning clockwise or counter clockwise, and the ones in the front were transparent, while those at the back were colorful. When I sat down, I saw a bright Falun spinning at my lower abdomen. I stared at the Falun every day and felt that this practice was truly magnificent. In my dreams my primordial spirit left my body and went to other dimensions. They were of a beauty and purity not seen in this human dimension. Sometimes, Teacher adjusted my body. My body would feel numb and a large powerful hand held my waist, spinning me around.
Within a month of practicing, the gastric ulcer and rhinitis I had suffered for many years disappeared and I became healthy. The people around me said that I exhibited vigor and vitality.
Setting up material production sites
A practitioner who had become homeless to avoid persecution contacted me in the spring of 2002. Once this practitioner found out that many local practitioners had also become homeless because of the persecution, he helped them to come to my city. They discussed setting up a materials production site, to print and distribute materials that explained the facts about Falun Gong, but were short of funds. Upon hearing their plan, I knew that Teacher was hinting that I was to get involved in this project. At the time I earned a fairly high salary and could provide the funds. Other practitioners also chipped in, and we bought the necessary equipment to set up the site.
I arranged my schedule so that I could pick up the materials on a weekly basis. A dozen or so practitioners produced and distributed materials for more than twenty of this city's townships. One could find the words “Falun Dafa is good” on the walls and electric poles in all of the neighborhoods. Former practitioners were also encouraged to start the practice again.
The large scale distribution of truth clarification materials shocked the authorities, and officials from the Domestic Security Bureau began to search for the source of these materials. Leaders of my work unit cooperated with them to found out the source of these materials from me. They also put a lot of pressure on my husband, which caused problems at home. My husband was normally a refined and cultured man, but soon became aggressive towards me. He demanded that I renounce my belief or he would divorce me. The Disciplinary Inspection Department at my work unit set up a special team to harass me. Agents from the 610 Office told me, “If you do not write a guarantee statement to renounce Falun Gong we'll fire you and your husband. We'll see how a woman can live without a husband and work.” The practitioners who worked at the materials production site were followed and detained. Only a few practitioners remained.
I shared my understandings with the practitioner who had originally contacted me, and decided to leave work and continue our work producing truth clarification materials. I wrote a letter to the leaders and my colleagues at work before I left, to explain the facts about Falun Gong. I also left my husband a message saying that I wouldn't renounce my belief.
Eliminating the old forces and cooperating with fellow practitioners
We used a shabby farm house for the materials production site, and life there was extremely hard. There was no stove to keep us warm in the winter. Besides a few broken wooden beds, worn out blankets and the equipment for processing the materials, there was nothing else there. It was a big test for me, as I was used to the niceties of life. Could I pass this test? In a dream I took part in a high jump competition, and could only achieve a lower height when I was a student, but now I could jump much higher with ease. Teacher gave me the confidence to continue on my cultivation path.
Practitioners at the materials production site showed concern for each other, and we read the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts. We worked during the day and went out in groups to distribute materials in the evening. As I was a familiar face in the city, a practitioner told me that it would be best if I moved to another city, and suggested that practitioners from other parts of the country should switch places with me.
A female practitioner put the luggage on my shoulder and urged me to maintain righteous thoughts and righteous actions as I left. She asked me to remember one sentence:
“In the course of teaching the Fa and gong, many people have found the Fa very good, but very difficult to follow. Actually, I think it depends on the person as to whether it is difficult or not.” (Zhuan Falun)
The materials production site I moved to was fairly big and provided material to the province's cities and counties. Each practitioner was in charge of a specific task and they did not communicate with each other. Only the coordinator went among various places to distribute and deliver the materials. In order to guarantee a smooth operation, practitioners generally remained indoors. The coordinator provided daily necessities and everything used to produce the materials. This was another hardship I faced. It was the loneliness and being separated from the outside world that became another test for me. Just studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts and processing materials made me feel as if I was like the machines we used to produce the materials. I felt extremely lonely one day, so I went to the courtyard to look at the moon and the stars, but still could not calm down. I went inside and began to listen to Teacher's lectures from Guangzhou. When Teacher's stern voice came from the mp3 player, I was really shocked. I knew Teacher was watching me and knew that I had slacked off in my righteous thoughts. I began to copy and memorize the Fa, and gradually my human thoughts disappeared. Through constant sharing with the coordinator and my own diligent cultivation, I could understand a lot of the Fa principles. The three things Teacher asked us to do became the only way of life.
When an elderly practitioner came to our materials production site, I finally had someone to talk to. We did the five sets of exercises, studied the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts and processed the materials together. We sent forth righteous every hour on the hour during the day and eliminated a large number of old force elements in other dimensions.
During the summer of 2003, the main instigator of the persecution came to our city and was followed by many old forces from other dimensions. All the streets and lanes, courtyards, roofs and windows were filled with very strange shaped, evil specters. The manifestation in this dimension was that it rained continuously. Looking at other dimensions with my celestial eye, I found that they were all dark, without a trace of light. After I sent forth righteous thoughts for two days to cleanse the environment, the sun came out and this terrible person had left. We regret that we failed to fully eliminate the old forces with our righteous thoughts. However, other dimensions had become transparent. For us, this represented a clearer mind and lighter body, something we had never experienced. I also saw that in another dimension practitioners had a large umbrella spinning just above their heads, which just looked like the umbrella with lotus leaves worn by the emperors in ancient times. It was magnificent, and practitioners were very happy because they knew Teacher was looking after us and giving us encouragement.
Letting go of human attachments and setting up a family materials production site
I had stayed at the materials production site for nearly a year, when the coordinator there told me that my parents were looking for me and that my husband wanted a divorce.
This news made me think of my husband and 3-year-old daughter, and I began to worry about my aging parents. Human sentiment resulted in my being less diligent in cultivation. Considering the safety of the materials production site, I decided that I should return home to establish a new cultivation environment. The coordinator was concerned for me and tried to persuade me to stay. I eventually returned home at the end of 2003.
When I opened the door of my cozy home, I was shocked to find it empty. When I tried to see my husband, all he said was, “Waiting for a divorce.” When I knocked and opened the door of my parents-in-law's home, a previously harmonious family had turned as cold as ice. Only my 3-year-old daughter smiled upon seeing a guest to the house. She dragged me to listen to her play piano. After a year's separation, my daughter didn't even recognize me. I carried her in my arms and told her I was her mother, her real mother. She smiled and said, “You are my mother!”
When I took my daughter to my parents' home, they locked me in a room. They then phoned my elder brother and asked him how they should deal with me. My elder brother asked them to find out if I still practiced Falun Gong. At the same time, my husband phoned, saying that my work unit had reported the news of my return to the Domestic Security Bureau, who threatened to arrest me. I was locked in the room during the day, and they only let me out to breathe in some fresh air in the evening, after my daughter went to bed.
I thought that I must continue to walk the path arranged by Teacher. I stood in the courtyard on a winter evening and began to do the first four exercises. When I stretched my arms, I heard Teacher's deep and loud voice coming from the sky:
“Dingtian Duzun” -- As Tall as Heaven and Incomparably Noble
“Qianshou Foli” -- The Thousand-Armed Buddha Stands Upright
My father stood there and watched me angrily. I knew Teacher was beside me, and suddenly compassion arose in my heart when I finished the exercises. I thought, one day my aging father will know the facts about Falun Gong and he would feel proud of his beloved daughter. He would be proud that I was steadfast and remained a practitioner. The present unhappiness was merely a process.
My family couldn't understand why I used all my savings to save sentient beings, and refused to provide me with any financial support. I thought about leaving, and remembered what Teacher said:
“You're cultivators, and all changes come from your cultivation and the Fa-rectification; everything that you yourselves validate and enlighten to, and everything that you'll receive, all this comes from what you have done on your path. Absolutely don't think about any favors the old forces might do for us, or about how the ordinary society might help us. You are the ones saving the ordinary people's society, and you are the ones saving sentient beings!” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.”)
When I was considering what path to take, an old friend phoned my parents, asking me to work for her company. With Teacher's help, I was able to go to another city.
(to be continued)
