Belief Came with Gradual Enlightenment - How an Atheist Walked into Dafa
(Clearwisdom.net) Before I graduated from college, I was a committed atheist who was brainwashed by Communist Party culture. After I graduated, however, I gradually found that I did not get to decide everything in my life and that some things were outside of my control no matter how hard I worked to achieve my goals. I started to feel confused, but I couldn't find any answers anywhere until 1997, when my husband's college teacher presented him with the precious book Zhuan Falun. I read it and at once felt clear about many confusing things I had wondered about, such as why some fortunetelling worked well, why people sometimes could see their future in their dreams, and the true meaning of life. I found all the answers in the book and was very excited. However, because I was blocked by atheism, many parts of the book seemed unbelievable to me, and I missed the precious opportunity to begin cultivation in Dafa.
Then the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started to persecute Falun Gong. Faced with the lies that were bombarding the entire country, I was unable to believe that the national media could coordinate such a fabrication. I was therefore deceived, and I asked my husband to burn the book. But my husband refused and hid it away from me. We moved several times; later, I nearly threw the book out when I was sorting through things.
My family has a history of poor health. I inherited a condition that caused me to feel dizzy, and I often felt pain in my back. When I had an x-ray done at the hospital, the doctor was shocked at my condition and asked me whether I did hard physical labor. He told me that my bones were as old as those of someone in her 40s (at the time I was in my early 30s) and that my vertebrae were filled with hyperplasia, which was incurable. My son was born with weakness in his spleen and stomach, and constantly suffered from all kinds of illnesses.
I blamed the root of all my unhappiness on my poor health, so I tried several different methods to deal with my health problems. Nothing worked. I was still often tired when I worked, and my back frequently hurt, even if I only washed a few clothes.
An old friend from my husband's hometown also lived in Shanghai with his family. My husband and I went to their home around 2006. There was a lady there in her 60s who was one of their relatives. She was very friendly and lively. She told me she had once had a back syndrome, where her spine didn't curve normally. This deformation of the spine led to a great deal of pressure on her heart, to the point that it had an abnormal shape and didn't function well. She would fall down unexpectedly just walking down the street. In addition, she suffered from many other diseases and had to take a lot of traditional Chinese medicine for years, some of which created smoke during its preparation, making her neighbors unhappy with her. So I asked her why she looked so healthy. She then brought out a book. After she opened the first page, I saw that it was Zhuan Falun. "Ah," I said, "I also have this book." She said, "You need to read it! I have read it many, many times. But every time I read it, I come to new understandings. It is a book from Heaven."
After I returned home, I barreled through our boxes and chests and finally found that precious book, which I had nearly thrown out several times. I read it again. Still poisoned by the regime's lies, I felt that some of the contents were a little hard to believe, but I quite agreed with many principles that guided one's conduct and behavior. In the past I had heard some stories about qigong's healing efficacy, so I didn't find the lady's improved health too hard to believe. My mom was also practicing qigong at the time because she suffered from cancer. She got up very early to do the exercises every day, but I was pretty lazy. Thinking that I would need to spend much time doing the exercises every day, I was afraid of the difficulty and was unwilling to be diligent, and therefore I missed the opportunity again.
Afterwards, my family happened to see the college teacher who had given us the copy of Zhuan Falun. He was glowing with health and in good spirits. I told my husband, "That teacher practices Falun Gong. Look how healthy he is. Why don't we practice it, too?" Actually, I didn't expect that anything would bring me any health benefits. This teacher was very kind and warmhearted. He said that he would ask his friend, who lived in the same city we did, to get us some materials to study. At the time, my husband and I knew nothing about the truth of the CCP-fabricated Tiananmen Square self-immolation incident. When the teacher's friend came to our home, I asked him about that. He was very surprised and exclaimed, "You still believe those lies? Those who truly practice cultivation know it is fake with half an eye." Later, we watched the video that explained the truth about the self-immolation incident. I was shocked that our government would go to such outrageous lengths and use such shameless means to deceive people.
I began to listen to Master's recordings, and almost immediately my insomnia was resolved. In the past, I suffered from neurasthenia and could hardly fall asleep because I needed to take care of my son. Whenever he awakened me, I couldn't fall back to sleep. One time I listened to Master's recording at 10 a.m.. However, I couldn't control myself and quickly fell asleep. A short time later, I woke up and felt quite alert and comfortable, something I had never experienced before. This happened several times. Afterwards, I noticed that the dizzy condition I had inherited had disappeared. I was completely amazed and felt it was really miraculous. Soon after, I started to very seriously read Zhuan Falun, and I have kept on reading it for three years. I became healthier and healthier.
Several miraculous things have happened in my life during these years. Soon after I began studying Zhuan Falun, my son fell down into the courtyard from a window on the third floor. His head and back hit the ground first. The ground in the courtyard is covered with rugged stones. My son fell directly on the stones without having his fall broken by anything on the way down. Before I ran out to my son, I did a heshi with my hands and in my heart I asked Master for help, "Master, help me. Master, please help me." I wasn't muddleheaded at that moment; my only thought was that Master would help me. When I arrived in the courtyard, my son had already stood up by himself. He just had a small head laceration and bled a little. I took him to the hospital. The examination showed that everything was fine. He just had a soft tissue injury on his back and recovered within a week. I was told about this danger by a fortuneteller when he was still in the womb. The fortuneteller said that I was carrying a boy and that my son would have a severe disaster at the age of six or seven. When I looked back on this, I understood that it was Master that helped my son resolve this severe tribulation.
I myself also experienced several miraculous things. One time, the tire of a small car drove over my left foot. In surprise, I shouted out. But then I immediately thought, "Master is protecting me," and I wasn't worried about it. As a result, I was completely fine. Afterwards, when I thought about this incident again, I doubted the miracle, thinking that others' feet might also be fine after being run over by a car's tire. Soon after that, my husband contacted his classmate's brother who was recovering at home due to a fracture. After talking with him, my husband heard that the injury to his foot was a comminuted fracture because his foot was run over by the tire of a small car when he was clearing snow on the street in 2008. When my husband told me about this, for the first time I finally told him what had happened, "My foot was also driven over. I thought it was nothing to be concerned about, so at the time I didn't mention it to anyone."
I really started to cultivate myself. When I followed Master's teachings to strictly discipline myself, I could feel that Master was around me at every moment. Master arranged all kinds of xinxing tests for me, helping me get rid of attachments such as the competitive mentality, the mentality of showing off, jealousy, and lust. Although my Celestial Eye is blocked, I realized that Master often enlightened me through the words of practitioners around me. I deeply realized that we can do the three things well as long as we follow Master's words. I gradually understood that atheism was just a means the CCP uses to obscure the truth from people, keeping them from believing in the divine and deluding them into blindly following the communist regime.
After being an onlooker, I finally, truly walked into Dafa. That period of "half-believing and half-doubting" had cost me more than ten years. How many decades are there in one's life? I finally woke up and will not squander this precious opportunity.
No one has come to this world for no reason. How about you? Have you asked yourself what you came for and where you are going? Are you really satisfied after enjoying the hustle and bustle in the human world? Are you still confused in your heart and wondering about the true meaning of life? Then read Zhuan Falun. Read the precious book carefully and you may understand something.