(Clearwisdom.net) I began to practice Falun Gong in 1998. Before I became a practitioner, I had been married for over 20 years, with endless quarrels, and finally went to the stage of divorce. This caused my bad moods for years. I had menopause at the age of 35, depression and chronic fatigue, and I developed many other physical ailments. I despaired about life, and thought that my life was meaningless. In the midst of feeling puzzled and lost, a friend of mine told me about a book called Zhuan Falun. She specifically mentioned the following line in Zhuan Falun:
"one should not fight back when being punched or insulted" (Zhuan Falun, 2000 version)
She also told me, "The bigger the grievance you encounter, the more virtue you get, and the better it is for you." These words resonated with me, so I immediately borrowed this book. Then I watched Teacher's lecture videotapes, and joined the local morning group practice.
After one month of practicing Falun Gong, all my illnesses disappeared. My whole body was so relaxed and light that I felt I was flying when I walked. My mind was open and filled with hope. I strictly held myself to the standard of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance at work and at home, thinking about other peoples' well-being at all times. My originally tumultuous family life became harmonious, and I did not compete for fame and self-interest in the workplace. The section I managed received the highest evaluation by the city bureau, and the local city TV station reported on our achievements.
After the persecution of Falun Gong began, along with the advancement of Fa-rectification, we have continuously improved our truth-clarification materials. We have been hand-writing banners for several years, basically with no interruption, especially on World Falun Dafa Day. For the New Year, we put up many posters using yellow paper and red characters, in order to increase the festival atmosphere. Our doing this frightens the evil, and also leads people to discuss Falun Gong and the persecution more freely.
I also write letters to clarify the truth to people who are persecuting practitioners. I carefully collect the names and contact information published on Minghui Weekly, such as the county party committee secretary, the public security bureau chief, police officers, personnel in prisons, forced labor camps and politics and law system workers, and send them letters. I usually handwrite the letters, and use carbon paper to produce four copies of the letter. For the county party committee secretary and general cadres, as they do not persecute people directly, I tend to write more from the spiritual side (such as the importance of believing in divine beings) and write about the truth and principles. For those directly participating in the persecution, I clearly tell them about the principle of karmic retribution. I have sent out over 600 truth-clarification letters over the past several years.
I also have been to villages to explain the truth to people face to face. One purpose is to save people, and the other is to force myself to abandon many of my attachments, such as fear, self-interest, competition and the attachment to comfort. It is indeed like the cultivation method of wandering about, finding happiness in the hardship. I also realized in my truth-clarification, that Teacher is essentially doing it and we merely carry out the action.
Once, fellow practitioners said that I was a spy, which caused many of my human notions to emerge. I felt hatred and blame, indignation and other emotions. I thought, "I am able to follow the Fa-rectification process all these years, I have not gone astray on the path of cultivation practice. I have never betrayed practitioners in prison, and neither have I done anything wrong to other practitioners, so what have I done wrong?" At that time, my closest practitioner friend also ignored me and stopped letting me read the Minghui Weekly, or giving me truth-clarification materials. I wanted to speak to fellow practitioners, but they refused to see me. I had no other way, so I wrote two letters and placed them under their doors. What was I to do? In the beginning, I felt that my fellow practitioners' behavior was for me to improve my xinxing, widen my own capacity, so I just studied the Fa more. I did not go out for a month, and studied all of Teacher's articles written after July 20, 1999. I thought: the evil want to burn me out, so I must cultivate harder.
During that period of time, I went through all kinds of tests. For example, my human notions came out sometimes, and I felt that fellow practitioners' realms were low. Once when my human notions emerged, I felt extremely uncomfortable. What should I do? I begged Teacher, "Teacher, where have I done wrong?" I heard a voice: "Deny it!" My heart suddenly became bright, and I immediately went to explain the matter to fellow practitioners. We sat for a very long time, and we dissolved the gap between us.
How can such a thing happen? I looked inwards and found that the evil wants to separate practitioners, not letting us form one body, and manipulating us through conflicts. Also, there were some rumors spread, which some practitioners still believe, as well as my own attachments, including the attachment to showing off, arrogance, attachment of zealotry and fear. These things caused fellow practitioners to regard me as irrational.
From now on, I must solidly walk every step well, as the path of cultivation becomes narrower and narrower. I must steadily and rationally walk every step well, in order to not disappoint Teacher's hopes, and to complete my cultivation practice and return with Teacher!
