On the Danger of Improper Relationships
(Clearwisdom.net) It is hard to avoid having a human mindset, even for cultivators, especially when it comes to relationships between men and women. Sometimes, even when it's inappropriate, a subtle favorable impression can be developed between a man and a woman if one doesn't pay attention to it. Perhaps one may not be aware of its gravity, but the Old Forces in other dimensions are eying you covetously and will not let you off easily. It is possible that they may amplify your attachments and push you close to the brink of danger to attain their terrifying goal of destroying cultivators.
Teacher said in the "Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference:"
"Dafa disciples should not, under any circumstance, have any further problems in this regard. I don't want to see you make these kinds of mistakes. The boy and girl students in the performing arts troupe normally aren't allowed to just casually intermingle. Also, because they are so young, they are strictly forbidden from dating. Other Dafa disciples need to pay attention to these same issues. If this kind of problem happens at our academy, whoever is involved will be sent home without exception, to be sure. When Dafa disciples themselves can't do well, they cannot save sentient beings. If you cannot manage to do well yourself, how could you save sentient beings? When the thoughts that you project are unrighteous, how could you do that task well? It's the same as assisting the evil, then."
Through this paragraph of the Fa, my own understanding is that it is better to avoid individual contact between male and female practitioners who are not married to each other or eligible for marriage. There are several examples in our area. Because of close cooperation in Dafa work, and being together for a long time, some practitioners developed distracting emotions, which led to some of them not conducting themselves well. Some of them were even arrested and detained as a result of this gap.
I made a mistake in this area, too. I didn't clearly recognize the problem and was confused about it for a while. I had lots of hardship in my cultivation and was being seriously constrained by bad things from other dimensions. I am a young female practitioner. Before I began Dafa cultivation, my family had little concern or love for me, so I placed great expectations on marriage. I led an honest and clean life and thought I would offer my love to my future husband. Because of this human mindset, I met with subsequent hardship and I did not control myself well.
In the second half of 2005, I undertook some technical work and came into contact with a male practitioner who was ten years older and married. He had better technical skills than I did, and he gave me lots of help. The relationship seemed to agree with my mentalities of dependence and the longing to be loved and cared about. We worked in harmony and often went to study the Fa together. We helped solve technical problems for fellow practitioners together, and we even went to tourist spots together. Soon we both realized our relationship was inappropriate, but because of our attachments that we hadn't cultivated away in accordance with the Fa, we had difficulty cutting off our relationship.
The fellow practitioner's marriage began to suffer because of my behavior. I had created tremendous interference and temptation for him. Later, other practitioners pointed out the inappropriateness of our relationship. Thus, we seldom saw each other in 2007 and have had no contact at all since 2008. But I hadn't truly cleaned out all the bad thoughts that were in my mind. Since then, I have frequently had headaches and sentimental feelings and wept when I was alone. I often felt there was something hard-pressed against my forehead and that I was in low spirits. I couldn't concentrate when I sent forth righteous thoughts. Since he and I hadn't had any contact for a long time, I was thus looking for other reasons to explain my condition and overlooked our inappropriate relationship.
Then recently, when I saw two fellow practitioners were having an improper relationship--often spending time together and making it obvious they had strong human mindsets--it led me to think about my past experience. Did I still have something I hadn't put down yet? Several days earlier a fellow practitioner had said to me, "You weren't in such low spirits even when the persecution was very rampant. Although you have an apprehensive and unsettled temperament, you have changed a lot since that affair. Your eyes have lost their luster, and you have become dispirited." The practitioner's remark woke me up. I had always regarded it as a mistake of the past, and I didn't realize that it was actually the same trick the Old Forces used on the Dafa practitioners in history ages ago, including vicious arrangements in history and prior to one's cultivation in this life. It will become an element of interference for practitioners during this critical juncture of the Fa-rectification. If we cannot clearly recognize it based on the Fa and eliminate the interference, it will be difficult to shake loose of its control.
I write this article to thoroughly disintegrate my "false self" and also to remind fellow practitioners to pay more attention to the relationships between fellow practitioners of the opposite gender. We mend our ways so as to not give the evil any opportunities to exploit us. This includes the fellow practitioners getting in touch with one another on the web. You must also pay attention to the issue of human emotion. When you slacken, the evil will absolutely not let go of you.