How I Have Come Through on My Twelve Year Path of Cultivation
Greetings to Master, greetings to fellow practitioners!
Validate the Fa
The Chinese Communist Party began to persecute Falun Gong on July 20, 1999. The local practitioners and I enlightened to the fact that we must step forward and go to Tiananmen Square to validate the Fa and clarify the facts to the government.
When I got on the Beijing-bound train for the first time it was crowded with passengers, some were going home, some were on errands and some were visiting relatives. I thought "You all know your destinies, but when will I return home?" At the time my thought was that I would be detained if I went to Beijing. I felt that everything of the human world left me and I had this feeling of being lost and lonely. I was suffering from a pain that was beyond description. However, my mind was very clear and I knew that I went there to validate the Fa and I knew I did not have another choice.
The plainclothes officers were everywhere in Tiananmen Square. When we asked people how to get to the appeals office, one plainclothes officer called someone with a beep-pager. In no time the police cars rushed in and the officers pushed us into the police car. We were taken to the liaison office of our province and the officers there confiscated all our money.
My home was some 200 kilometers from the provincial capital. When we got off the train several cameras videotaped us and the footage was shown on the local TV station. Upon our arrival at the police department the officers interrogated us. They asked us who organized the trip and so on, and then sent us to a detention center. On the following day they pushed us into four or five police cars and encircled the building with the siren sounding all the time. They held a so-called public trial meeting at a cinema which could seat several hundred people. The meeting was chaired by the County Party Secretary and all the officers from the townships were also present. They brought us to the front of the stage. After the "public trial" we were locked up at a detention center for several months and only released on the eve of the Chinese New Year.
The local practitioners and I went to practice the exercises at a public place on June 28, 2000 and I was sentenced to one year of forced labor as a result. Since I refused to renounce Falun Dafa my term of forced labor was extended for another two and a half months.
After returning home in 2001 I did not pay attention to Fa study and sending forth righteous thoughts, but only went to various villages to distribute materials. Four or five practitioners drove cars to deliver the materials. Sometimes we would finish at around 4 a.m. In one night we could cover seven to eight townships or villages. Three months later I was framed by the people who did not know the truth of the persecution while distributing the truth-clarification materials. I was sent to a detention center. Ten days later I walked out of the detention center and became homeless in order to avoid being arrested and persecuted. I was detained again in a materials processing site and sentenced to 3 years of forced labor.
The situation at home became very bad when I returned home in 2005. My husband became insane after drinking too much alcohol and was sentenced to three and a half years of imprisonment. I did not have a place to stay and had to live with my younger sister for three months. During that period of time I studied the Fa from dawn to dusk, and systematically finished reading all of the Master's lectures.
When I got back home the contract of our house, which was a rental, expired. I wanted to renovate the house and use it to do business. My nephew offered me the money and other relatives all wanted to help me in various ways. I thought as a Dafa practitioner, I should not owe people debts. I simply should do it in accordance with my own ability. I sold all my gold and silver jewelry to start the business. I got up at 3 a.m. to prepare breakfast and felt very tired by starting early and finishing late.
My husband was released from prison and the friction became unbearable. He began to drink heavily and every day he would drink more than a kilo of wine. He also had a lot of warped thinking and bad habits that he got from the prison. Beatings and verbal abuse as well as smashing things became his common practice. My relatives all agreed that I should not continue the marriage. My son pressed me to divorce him. My husband's sisters were also worried and wanted to send him to a mental hospital in order to help to get rid of his addiction to alcohol. I said to his sisters and my son, "I have been persecuted for many years. He suffered a lot. In the past he always supported me and never stopped me from validating the Fa. He never interfered with where I spent the money. When I sent the truth-clarification materials to the countryside, most of the time he would be the driver."
During the process I strictly looked inward and found that I had very strong attachments to him. All these years the one I missed the most was him. I found I had a pile of attachments; attachment of resentment, attachment of competitiveness, attachment of feeling unbalanced, subjective assertion and forcing my opinions onto other people, not leaving any leeway when speaking, validating myself, putting myself above other people, never apologizing to anyone and measuring the things with human reasoning. After looking inward I realized that accomplishing tasks was not cultivation and we should not measure our cultivation by how many things we have done.
One day when my neighbor and my husband's friends were present my husband began to swear at me. On the surface I had not done anything wrong, however I thought it might be caused by my attachments. I instantly apologized to him and asked him not to be angry. He immediately changed the topic as if nothing had happened. Even one of his friends thought it was unfair and said to me "How come you are such a coward? Can't you swear back?" I smiled and did not give any explanation. His friends said, "It's really very hard to maintain this 'forbearance' like you just did!" But he said with a sigh, "Falun Dafa is good and Falun Dafa is really very good!"
During the process of steeling myself in the tribulations my xinxing had been improving and I gradually let go of the attachment of putting myself above other people and realized Master's Fa principle,
"But true improvements come from letting go, not from gaining." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")
Since I aligned myself with the characteristics of the universe peace returned to my family again. My husband began to cultivate Falun Dafa and my son also joined our Fa study.
Melt into Group Fa Study
At around 11 p.m. one evening my husband made a scene (before he became a practitioner) after drinking too much alcohol. In order not to affect our guests (I was in the hotel business) I carried a bag and walked out of the house without him noticing. I felt very bitter while walking down the very dark lane. I repeatedly asked, "Master, what is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?" I walked to and fro in the dark until I could not move my steps any more. I found a hotel and stayed for the night. On the following day I found a place to study the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts and straightened out my thoughts. I thought to myself, was it the problem of my xinxing or the problem of my starting point? My husband was being used by the old forces to participate in the persecution and I was concentrating on looking for my attachments; therefore I had drifted away from the Fa-rectification period cultivation. Then how could I melt into the group to do the three things well and walk on a path arranged by Master?
"It's not that you're cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them, not even acknowledging the elimination of their ordeals' manifestations. (Applause) So looking at it from this angle, what we need to do is completely negate the old forces. Dafa disciples and I don't even acknowledge the manifestations of their last-ditch efforts. "("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
My thinking became clearer. At that time there were no Fa study groups in my area and I thought I needed to set one up. I planned to rent a house as the venue for our Fa study. In winter the rented house was very cold. I thought that I must heat it up and even if I was the only one I must finish studying the Fa. When I talked to a practitioner about the plan I was told that "There is a house for rent." Another practitioner said he would pay for the rent. We rented the house right away. Three days later our Fa study group had been set up. I said to my husband, "I have been persecuted for many years. Since we had difficulties financially and enormous pressure from both work and life I am hardly keeping up with the process of the Fa rectification. As a result I was in despair and slacked off. Now I want to take three hours to participate in the group Fa study every day and hope you can understand and help." He said, "Why didn't you say so earlier? I was waiting for it." I was very much moved at that moment. Lives are waiting for their opportunities so that they are able to make their choices. However, if we do not do well our family might be used by the evil forces and create retributions to help you to improve your xinxing.
A few months later when the contract of renting the house expired we did not have a place to have the group Fa study any more. However, the Fa study group which was set up with a lot of effort should not be dissolved. In order to provide the fellow practitioners a stable environment several practitioners built a big heatable brick bed in a warehouse. More and more practitioners came to study the Fa. There was one session during the daytime and one in the evening. Some practitioners whose home environment was not good also came here to study the Fa. Not long after someone said that the police station passed on a message, stating that because we all gathered at a certain practitioner's place, they would come to arrest us. I said, "What they said does not count. Only our Master's words count!" The evil died out by itself. At that time I only thought that it would be good if the practitioners could come here to study the Fa. Now the practitioners all became more mature. Informational materials processing sites and the Fa study sites sprung up everywhere and blossomed all over the place. We were all doing the three things.
Clarify the Truth to Government Officials
The government insiders disclosed that they would install surveillance devices on the building opposite my house on what the CCP described as "sensitive days". On learning the news I wanted to go there to clarify the truth to them. When I shared this with other practitioners they said they would support me, "You go and we will send forth righteous thoughts to help you."
I called the head of our township and made an appointment to see him. I brought with me the truth-clarification materials. Before my departure my son said, "Mother, don't go! They will detain you." I said, "No, they will not, because it is they who violated our basic human rights and it is they who committed crimes. "
When I mentioned the surveillance equipment he flatly denied it. I said, "If you have done it you are wrong. The practitioners are all good people. Recently one practitioner in our area was sentenced to several years of imprisonment. You are the No. 1 person responsible person for the imprisonment. Persecuting good people is a sin. You will have to pay for whatever a practitioner has suffered. 'Good brings rewards, while evil brings retribution.' This is a celestial principle. For your descendants you must make amends for your sins by doing good deeds. "
Just at that time three other main leaders came in. I said, "You have friends to drink with, friends to play mahjong with and you also have close friends. As for me I have friends who cultivate Falun Gong. We just have different beliefs. There is nothing wrong with that. What we are doing is noble and righteous. We have done nothing that we are ashamed of." They said, "If you think it's good you can practice at home. Just don't put up posters and distribute fliers. If you don't do that we will not arrest you." I said, "I will definitely do it. Let me tell you why I want to do it. We had this cultivation environment before July, 1999. At that time did you hear us say anything? Why did the government throw all the bad things at Falun Gong? It staged the 'Self Immolation' to deceive the people both in China and the world. Our appeal is to clarify the truth. However, as leaders you have never listened to the voice of the people, you just simply throw us into the forced labor camps or sentence us to prison terms. We have no place to air our views so we chose to use the DVDs and flyers to tell people how Falun Gong is being persecuted. Falun Gong has become an unjust case in the past few years. Many of our fellow practitioners have been imprisoned, injured or died as a result of inhuman torture. How can we not speak out? You can get to know Falun Gong from a positive angle, by reading the truth clarification materials and watching the DVD. Don't just listen to and believe in what your superior has said!"
I talked to them for more than an hour. Then I stood up and said to the Head of the township, "I want to talk to you alone." He led me into another room. I gave him a DVD, "Please watch the DVD; it's good for you. You should choose a good future for yourself." He said, "You must pay attention to your safety." Then I bid farewell to him and walked out. The No. 2 man of the township who had been transferred here only recently said, "Now, I am assigned to be in charge of Falun Gong. When will you give me a DVD?" I said, "I will!" After a period of time he did come to my home and took with him several copies of the DVD.
Thereafter, whenever they received guests they would recommend them to my hotel saying that they would like me to earn the money.
Clarify the Truth to the Community
I had planned to retire. However, my name in the archives and on my household registration card was different. On top of that I did not have an ID card. I went to the community office. The Head of the community sounded out, "I was told that you practiced Falun Gong before." I said, "I am still practicing it now." I clarified the truth to him and said, "You are the Head of the community and are in charge of various issues. However, on the issue of Falun Gong you must think twice before you act. You must have your own understanding. You have the say in how to do your work. Treating Dafa practitioners well will bring you good fortune. Work is only for a very short period of time but the future of your descendants is a very long time. Please accumulate some good fortune for them!" He said, "You want to apply for an ID card and change your household registration. These are all very difficult matters to deal with. You are lucky that you have me today. Let me help you." I said, "That's very good. Let's form a predestined tie."
The Household Registration Office was not in the same building. He took me to that building and accompanied me until I went through all the formalities and got my ID card. He said, "Don't delay the formality of your retirement. It will be a loss if you cannot receive your pension." I thanked him before he left.
This is my cultivation path of the past 12 years. There were losses and gains, bitterness and happiness.