Eight Years of Running an Informational Materials Production Site
Greetings Master, Greetings Fellow practitioners
1. Becoming responsible for the local information production
In the second half of 2003 I assumed responsibility for producing informational materials and distributing them in my area. It is a large area and we needed to produce 300 copies of Teacher's lectures and articles, 50 copies of Minghui Weekly, and several thousand information sheets every week. I was doing this alone and also had a full-time job. With faith in Teacher and the Fa, I volunteered to take up this job and everything went smoothly. Often, I used my lunch break to do the work, and would grab something to eat shortly before my break was over. I did not go to bed until after sending righteous thoughts at midnight. At the same time, I tried to find time to study theFa. I was very strict with myself and tried to measure myself by the Fa. I felt very energetic in general.
I work in a print shop, and rarely gossip with my coworkers. They spent a lot of time badmouthing other people and they swore a lot, which I found very difficult to tolerate at first. Then I realized that such behavior was a fact of life now because the human moral standards are degenerating. So, I just recited the Fa from memory or sent righteous thoughts. Whenever I talked, I told my coworkers about the goodness of Falun Dafa to clear out any misunderstandings they may have had.
I was also responsible for delivering the materials, for which I traveled over 10 kilometers round trip. But as soon as I thought about Teacher and my fellow practitioners who were in jail, my negative thoughts vanished.
Once I had a xinxing test that I didn't pass very well. It took me three attempts to deliver some materials to a practitioner. On the first try, he forgot to tell me that he wouldn't be there, and I felt upset that I had traveled for nothing. The second time, he wasn't there either, and I felt even more upset. On the third try, he wasn't home again. Then I realized that this happened so I could eliminate my attachment to comfort. After looking inside, I thought about Teacher's Fa:
A Great Enlightened One fears no hardship
Having forged an adamantine will
Free of attachment to living or dying
He walks the path of Fa-rectification
confident and poised
Hong Yin II "Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions"
Immediately, all the bad thoughts disintegrated and my xinxing was elevated. While I was distributing the materials, we followed the teachings and did it rationally and with wisdom. We changed the meeting places frequently and every time we met, we briefly shared our understandings and experiences and chose our next meeting place. Things went very smoothly.
With Teacher's merciful protection, I narrowly escaped many dangerous situations. Once, I was staying at the home of a practitioner who had been targeted by the evil. Because I was staying there, I was suspected of being a practitioner. So I was required to apply for a temporary resident permit. With Teacher's help, every time someone came, we happened to be away from home. One early morning, I realized that agents had visited because there were 17 cigarette butts at the front door and muddy footprints in the courtyard. Apparently they were trying to jump over the wall. I was shocked at first, but then I remembered that I had Teacher and they were not able to come inside. I had spent the whole night working on producing materials with no lights on. I did it on the floor, under the bed, using small amount of light from the photocopier. I used a flashlight only when I needed to. After that, my faith in Teacher and the Fa grew even stronger. Teacher took special care of me. From then on, I also paid more attention to sending righteous thoughts for the production site. The police have not been back since.
2. Learning to use the computer and printer
The master copies that I used were delivered to me by a fellow practitioner who had to travel 20 kilometers. I thought it was too much of a burden for him so I decided to do it myself and thus give him more time to study the Fa.
In the winter of 2004, a practitioner from my hometown came to visit me. She suggested that I go with her to the Northeast part of China to learn to use a computer since our demand for materials was so great. I thought this was Teacher's arrangement even though I didn't have the money to buy computers or printers. However, she convinced me that everything would be arranged, and we went there. I experienced a lot of interference as I had flu symptoms and a fever. Fellow practitioners told me that they encountered the same interference when they first tried to learn to use the computer. I kept sending righteous thoughts every day. I managed to learn the basics required to use a computer. When we got back, I was told that there were computers and printers ready for me to use. I was so grateful to Teacher and my fellow practitioners.
With the assistance of other practitioners, I started printing Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. After that, I was able to do just about anything. Both my coordinator and I developed the attachment of zealotry. When he went to experience sharing, he would show off. We thought we were so great and better than other people. Then we started to have problems with the quality of our printing that lasted for a month. The general coordinator reminded me to look within. I realized that we had developed attachments to our abilities. So I talked with my coordinator and we realized that our abilities were nothing and were provided by Teacher. With great responsibility for material production, we have to be stricter with ourselves in order to accomplish the mission of saving sentient beings.
3. Purchasing supplies and producing the materials
In 2006, the practitioner who was responsible for buying supplies was displaced. As a result, I was left with the job of buying supplies for the production site, which was in addition to the production itself. I had to quit my job in order to manage the additional workload. Often I could not go to bed until 1 or 2 a.m. With no time to study the Fa, many human mentalities surfaced and I tired easily. I was hoping that a fellow practitioner would come to help me. I was holding on till the end of the year. My attachments to self interest intensified and as I didn't have an income, it bothered me a lot. I didn't look within, and more and more human mentalities surfaced. As a result, my righteous thoughts diminished. In the summer of 2007, I developed some physical problems and realized that my cultivation had a huge problem. My thoughts were all negative, and I had few righteous thoughts.
I could not concentrate when I was reading the Fa and I could not keep my palm upright when I was sending righteous thoughts. I got upset when a fellow practitioner mentioned these shortcomings to me. Fellow cultivators worried about me. I even looked much older. At the same time, the old forces kept me isolated. I did not hear about the Fahui and practitioners didn't visit me. I was in anguish. I wanted to go out of town to study the Fa and leave the work at the production site to the others. But no one could take over. I was hanging in there day after day, feeling tired and upset.
The result was that many mistakes were made. In March of this year, we were making copies of the Shen Yun performances. The CD cover had been designed by a practitioner's child and the practitioner asked me not to make any changes to the file. When my part was done, I passed it on to that person. The size of the cover was not right and so a lot of paper and ink were wasted. The practitioner was very upset with me. I was upset, too because I felt it was not my fault.
I didn't look inside because I didn't want to hear that I made a mistake. The next time around, I was careful not to make more than 100 copies, but again the cover was the wrong size. Fellow practitioners suggested that I was not fit for the job. When I heard that the same mistake had been made, I went back to double check. There was no mistake. Then I realized that the evil was controlling the practitioner. I realized that I needed to send righteous thoughts. This production site had been running for 8 years, with Teacher's merciful protection and contributions from countless practitioners, and the materials produced there had saved countless sentient beings. We could not allow the evil to interfere with the site any longer.
Then I asked myself, why did the evil take advantage of me? If I were in a solid cultivation state, would they even dare to do this? I was determined to make changes in myself that would ensure that we didn't have any more problems at the production site. A few days later, with my thoughts rectified, things cleared up. They had caused some damage in our area and it was Teacher who had rectified our field.
In June, a practitioner who had to leave her home to avoid persecution stayed with me. She could see that I was not doing well and my attachments were apparent to her, too. She said that I had low self-esteem, was afraid that other people would look down on me, and that I had issues with my faith in Teacher and the Fa. I was shocked to hear this. What she said was true. Indeed, I tend to have low self-esteem and felt that I wouldn't return to my true home. My mind was filled with negative thoughts, including not respecting the Fa and Teacher. I finally realized that I had a problem. So I held up my palm and started to send righteous thoughts. Then, I understood that everything is given to me by Teacher. My state of mind improved and my physical health improved a lot. I owe my improvements to Teacher, who helped me eliminate low self-esteem and catch up with the Fa-rectification.
I promise Teacher and other practitioners that I will try to do better and take responsibility for what I need to do in the last days of the Fa-rectification so I can return home with Teacher.
Thank you, Teacher!