For the Unalterable Vow (Part 2)
4. Walking Well On One's Own Path while Editing Truth-Clarification Materials
In order to help the local people understand the truth about Falun Dafa and the persecution, I thought about submitting articles to the Minghui website. Such articles could expose the evildoers and their actions, gather firsthand accounts of karmic retribution in our area, or report local practitioners' changes after practicing Falun Dafa or the persecution they have suffered. However, writing was a big challenge for me, since I only have a middle school education.
"As long as you are doing things out of a wish to validate the Fa and save sentient beings, I will affirm all that you do. And when you go do those things, there will be my Law Bodies or gods there to amplify it and make what you do yet more magnificent and extraordinary, and they will assist you." ("Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference")
Human history was arranged for Dafa disciples to save sentient beings. We should not be stymied by human notions. Hence, I spent some time every night reading articles on Minghui, including those about the persecution and karmic retribution. I also gathered some articles on how to write. I spent less than ten years in school, but I have cultivated more than a dozen years in Dafa. Not to mention that Teacher is watching over me. What could hold back a Dafa disciple?
I submitted an article to Minghui and it was published soon thereafter. I carefully compared the changes made by the Minghui editors in order to find gaps in my writing and, more importantly, the gaps in my xinxing. In time, fewer and fewer editor's changes to my articles and truth-clarification flyers were made; sometimes there were no changes at all. Later, not only could I write articles to expose the persecution, but I could also write experience sharing articles. Two of my experience sharing articles were included in Minghui Weekly. I knew that Teacher was encouraging me.
Sometimes when I wrote, I could actually feel that I had been strengthened by Teacher. Before Mother's Day, I thought that I should write an article about a mother. It should include persecution facts and also the mother's feelings for her children, who had been arrested. It would fit well with everyday people's thinking and also help them to understand the persecution. However, I didn't know how to start. I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Teacher to strengthen me. Then I started to write. Thinking about fellow practitioners being persecuted and the general public that was being deceived, I wrote the article quickly and without much trouble. A family member, who is also a practitioner, was moved to tears after reading it. The article was published on Minghui within a few days. Only a few words had been changed. How could I say that I had written this article? I marveled at this extraordinary Dafa. I also told myself that I should not be overjoyed. Everything was given by Teacher and Dafa.
For many reasons, I was basically in a solitary cultivation status. I didn't encounter many xinxing frictions in complicated environments, nor did I have many conflicts with people. The interaction with fellow practitioners was basically simple exchanges in emails or helping practitioners to organize truth-clarification materials. Once a practitioner sent me a text message suggesting that another practitioner should take over my job of creating local truth-clarification materials. I felt very bad. I was surprised that I was so moved. I looked within and found an unworthy thought: the desire for fame and for validating myself. How shameful this thought of pursuing fame in Dafa and validating myself was! Had I not received this text message, I would not have realized that I had this thought. I adjusted myself quickly and replied, sharing my understanding on the Fa and on how to do the work better and that I would be sending over a typesetting training course. But no new local materials ended up being created. The coordinator then asked me to continue to do it. I knew this was actually arranged by Teacher to help me to get rid of my attachment.
I deeply understand that doing things is not the goal. Validating Dafa, saving sentient beings, and at the same time cultivating myself well is my prehistoric wish. No matter how much work I do, I can't count the work as my cultivation. The more work I do, the better I should study the Fa, send forth righteous thoughts, and cultivate myself. Then the things that I do will be sacred.
5. Giving up Self and Disintegrating Selfish Thoughts
When a family member, who is a practitioner, was arrested, I immediately submitted the information to Minghui and created truth-clarification materials and stickers. I also started rescue efforts. Under great pressure, I faced the CCP staff from the national security team and the evildoers. I used this to clarify the facts to other people, to encourage my family to do well, and to focus only on the process, not the results. I also reminded myself to reject the persecution, cultivate myself, and save sentient beings. But my heart was very heavy. Later, when I analyzed myself, I found that I was dragged down by sentiments and lacked righteous thoughts, and had a strong attachment to the results. Selfishness was my big gap.
From looking within, I realized that my clarifying the truth, trying to do well, cultivating myself, and rejecting the persecution were all for the purpose of getting my family member back. On the surface it looked good - as long as I did what I should do, Teacher would help me to get it done. But it was actually a big selfish thought, but I hadn't realized it yet. It was no different from that cancer patient Teacher talked about.
"'Teacher will certainly take care of me for all these things I've done. I'm reading the books, performing the exercises, and telling others to cultivate, so Teacher will definitely eliminate my illness.' You see that on the surface he stopped taking medicine, said those words, and acted in accordance with my requirements for practice. In essence, however, he didn't truly meet the standard for a cultivator." (Lecture at the First Conference in North America)
I then thought about how, very recently, practitioners were being put into brainwashing centers all over the country. How could that happen? Besides the set times for sending forth righteous thoughts, how many of us were able to maintain righteous thoughts all the time? Teacher said,
"Now that you've arrested me, I haven't thought at all about going back. Now that I've come here, I've come to validate the Fa. So the evil was scared." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
The old universe is based on selfishness. We are enlightened beings, who will create the new universe. Can we bring the selfishness from the old universe to the new one? My selfishness could be found everywhere: in rescuing fellow practitioners, clarifying the truth to people, supporting Dafa group projects, and even every thought and action in my everyday life--they were all permeated with my own selfishness. I said to myself, "When can I, a defender and enlightened being of the future universe, give myself up completely and only think of others? When can I stop sticking to my own ideas and start supporting the group as a whole? When can I truly and completely put sentient beings in my heart?" I suddenly felt a shaking in my heart and heard a voice, "Give up one's self to support the group, give up one's self to save sentient beings."
6. Clarifying the Truth
Once I went to another city on business. When I was finished, I wanted to call a tricycle taxi to take me to the train station. Normally, there are a lot of tricycles on the streets, but only very few could be found that day. When finally one showed up, it was either grabbed by someone else or the driver didn't hear me. I was a little disappointed and said to myself, "What is happening today?" Then I realized that everything happens for a reason. I had a feeling like I was waiting for someone. Sure enough, another tricycle taxi arrived. I waved and it stopped. As I was getting in, I had the feeling that I knew the driver. I remembered that I had ridden in his tricycle when I came to the city the last time. I had tried to clarify the truth to him, but he had replied with something impolite. He also said, "Why am I so unlucky today to have you as a customer?" I was put off by his attitude and didn't continue clarifying the truth to him. Maybe I had a predestined relationship with him, so Teacher benevolently gave me another chance.
I first sent forth righteous thoughts, then said to him, "Some time ago, a person rode on your tricycle and told you about quitting the CCP to save your life. Do you remember that?" He said he did. I said, "That was me. We really have a predestined relationship!" I told myself that I must help him quit the CCP today. I didn't pay attention to his attitude and just started talking, telling him that Falun Dafa is being persecuted, that the the Tiananmen self-immolation was staged, that Dafa is practiced far and wide overseas, and that quitting the Party will save one's life. When I started, he said nervously, "Don't say that. You might be arrested." Later he said, "Lower your voice." Gradually, his tricycle moved more and more slowly, and I could tell he was listening. But he still didn't agree to quit the CCP. I then said, "In your life, who can guarantee that you will never get into trouble? You can save these nine characters in your heart and create an alias to quit the CCP. When trouble comes, you can use them. That's like buying a life insurance policy without paying any money. Why not do it? I can create an alias for you. Quit the CCP." He nodded silently. When I was about to get off the tricycle, he asked me, "Those nine characters I need to remember start with 'Falun Dafa is good,' what else?" I told him, "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." He replied, "Now I remember. Thank you!" On the surface, I did this, but actually every person with a predestined relationship is being saved by our Teacher.
I used to be introverted and had difficulty talking to people or going out. But since I have started clarifying the truth, I look for opportunities to get in touch with people. Sometimes, after I persuade people to quit the CCP, they ask me, "You speak so well. Did you go to college?" I smile and say, "It is not because I am eloquent, it is because everything I have told you are the facts." I tell myself, "How could they know that this wisdom was given to me by Dafa?"
Sometimes I am very busy. I need to study the Fa, do the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts, think about ways to clarify the truth well, send text messages, edit truth-clarification materials, take care of my family, do well at work, and help practitioner children to cultivate. I then wish that one day could be extended to two days. Teacher said,
"I know that you've all worked so hard. You have to work and you have to study, you have your family life and social activities, and at the same time you have to take care of your family, do a good job at work, and you have to study the Fa well and do the exercises well, and what's more, you have to clarify the truth. It is hard! It's pretty hard both time-wise and financially. It's hard, so your mighty virtue is displayed; it's hard, and so it's a good opportunity to establish your mighty virtue. Remarkable! Since you are cultivators, even though it's hard you should do even better." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2001 Canada Fa Conference," Guiding the Voyage)
I have cultivated for more than ten years. It is not that I don't have anything to share, but I have too much to share. Plus, certain things I came to understand are difficult to express in words. We experienced great difficulties when we followed Teacher to the human world: how could I ever forget my vow? The cosmos is being reconstructed and all gods are watching: how can I not cultivate well my every thought and every action? Whenever I think about being a Dafa disciple, I feel boundless joy in my heart. Whenever I think of Teacher's help and protection, Teacher's boundless benevolence, tears come to my eyes. In order to fulfill my original vow and not disappoint sentient beings, I must be more diligent and do things better, so that I can be worthy of the title of "Dafa disciple" and give Teacher fewer worries and more joy!
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