I Finally Learned How to Look Inward

(Clearwisdom.net) Tonight after group Fa study and exercises, I was preparing to exchange my understandings of the Fa with fellow practitioners. When I got up to prepare some tea, I suddenly felt my chest hurt and it felt like it was congested. Why did I suddenly have such symptoms? I was very puzzled by it.

While I was listening to fellow practitioners exchanging their understandings, I continued to have pain in my chest and I could not stop thinking about why.

Twice before I had experienced such symptoms. Once I was sleeping at night and I had a sharp pain in my chest. I remember I had a thought that I was entering middle age and I was not diligent enough in my cultivation practice. It might be a symptom of a human disease, maybe coronary heart disease? At that moment, I knew that I should deny such a thought. It was impossible. No matter how badly I cultivated, as long as I was still practicing cultivation, I would not allow the old forces to interfere with me. With Master's benevolent protection, I must walk well on my cultivation road. Another time I recalled that I practiced a kind of spirit possessed Qigong before I practiced Dafa. I wondered if the symptoms were because I did not totally give up that mindset. It might be that spirit possessed gong was messing with me. But that should not happen, as Master has explained very clearly. Wasn't that suspicious?

Then, what was the problem? I suddenly thought of something and decided to communicate it to other fellow practitioners.

A while ago, I saw a so-called traditional remedy on a blog, which was talking about a method that could cure an illness that cannot be cured with present medical methods. That remedy can also be used to treat heart disease and tuberculosis. It was put up by a criminal. With special permission, it was said that if this method could cure a number of people's illnesses, a CCP court would cancel his death sentence. When I saw that remedy, I thought about sharing it with my friends. I thought if it really worked, it could be used to save a person's life. However, after giving it a second thought, I doubted that was a way to validate Dafa. So I did not do anything with it. Although I have two relatives who have similar illnesses, I did not share the remedy with them either.

However, this morning, I suddenly thought about that remedy. I took it out and made a copy and planned to give it to my relative. In the meantime, I could also share it with my friends.

At noon time, I mentioned this remedy to my wife, who is also a practitioner. I told her that I wondered if it was right to share it with my friends and relatives. I still felt that what I was thinking about doing would not validate Dafa. Only Dafa practitioners can validate Dafa. How could I validate such a traditional remedy? My wife told me that it might not matter too much since one of the relatives had stopped seriously practicing Dafa, although he still studied the Fa and did the exercises. But he rarely required himself to follow a practitioner's standard. So strictly speaking, he was not a practitioner. It would be like buying some medicine for him. It should not matter too much. After hearing what my wife said, I silently accepted this concept.

Coincidentally, the other relative, whose illness was not so severe, came to visit me at lunch time. Considering that he lived far away, I gave him the copy of the remedy first. I told him that I would give the more ill relative a copy of the remedy in the future.

Recalling these actions, I realized that the problem I was having now was due to giving out that remedy.

When I looked deeper, I realized that I gave my relative the remedy because I was moved by a human mentality. I felt that it was not easy for my relative to take so much trouble to bring me up. My other relative, who has more severe symptoms, is getting old. He has to take a lot of medicine each day and spend a lot of money. Although he had not asked me to pay for his medical expenses yet, I felt that if his condition continued like this, I would eventually have to pay for his medicine. Wasn't that an attachment of selfishness? Although I did not say it out loud, I truly had such a thought at that time.

When seeing my relatives with illness symptoms, I did not think about ways to persuade them to come back to cultivation. I did not try to improve with them from the Fa's standpoint and then validate Dafa. On the contrary, I acted too much from the human side and wanted to validate the so-called traditional remedy. Thus, since that remedy was used to cure heart disease, then it would make me uncomfortable in my heart. If I believed in it, then it would affect me. Therefore, unknowingly I had allowed the old forces to take advantage of me. How dangerous that was.

At that moment, I suddenly wanted to cough. I gently coughed and felt that I spat out something from my stomach. A small amount of yellow sputum came out. When I realized what had happened, I no longer felt congested in my chest and I felt much better.

I knew that I had found my attachment.

Our benevolent Master not only took away bad materials from other dimensions, he also had given me a chance to have the personal experience of seeing how it is reflected in this material world. At that moment, I thought of many things. I could not express my appreciation for Master's benevolent protection with words.

I have read fellow practitioners' experience sharing articles before and seen similar experiences to what I described above. I thought the expressions of gratitude might be based on superficial courtesy. This time I personally experienced it myself. I knew that it was gratitude coming from the deepest part of one's life. It was really hard to express it with human language. If it was not for our benevolent Master's constant hints, I might still "crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance." (Zhuan Falun)

Once again, I want to express my deep appreciation for Master's benevolent salvation. I finally learned how to look inward.