(Clearwisdom.net) After practicing Falun Gong for more than 10 years, I still harbor one old bad habit, that is, gossiping about other practitioners' shortcomings behind their back. For example, this practitioner has the attachment of showing off, and another practitioner has the attachment of jealousy, struggling, or fear, etc. I am even excited when talking about such topics. After calming down, I knew it was wrong to do this, but I could not resist. This dilemma has lasted a long time.

I realize now that I casually complained about other practitioners' shortcomings because I have many attachments myself. They include jealousy, showing off, curiosity, lust, struggling, etc.

For example, when Practitioner A was well respected and admired, I felt terrible and became jealous. When others talked about this practitioner's shortcomings, I tended to join in as well and even spread the words among more practitioners. Practitioner B is unwilling to accept criticism from others, so I talked about it with others in her absence, saying that she had poor enlightenment quality and she did not know how to look within. In doing so, I was actually implying that I cultivated well and was able to look within. Practitioner C usually said he could pass sickness karma tribulations well, however, later he went to a hospital because of an illness. Instead of directly inquiring about this with him, out of curiosity, I gossiped with others about this. Practitioner D once pointed out that I had a huge attachment to fear. After she was arrested, I started to complain about her loopholes to others before actually discussing with them on how to rescue her. Because of lacking an adequate xinxing level, of course the outcome of the rescue was not ideal.

Later, I noticed that other practitioners in my local area also possessed this bad habit. Sometimes, practitioners gathered together to share understandings. However, after a while, they basically talked about others' shortcomings. This created barriers among practitioners and prevented us from forming one body. Plus, the evil would easily take advantage of this. In the past two years, several dozen practitioners in my city were arrested and sentenced. Very few have been rescued.

Gossiping about the shortcomings of others not only impedes our own improvements, but also assists the evil to some extent, thus negatively affecting Fa-rectification. Although we claim not to follow the arrangements made by the old forces, when we gossip about other practitioners, we are actually walking on the path arranged by the old forces and giving the evil an opportunity to do bad things.

After realizing the significance of this, I felt very guilty. I will look within with no exception. Whenever impure thoughts surface or an attachment is exposed, I will take the opportunity to eliminate it.

Now when looking at practitioners, I see their positive sides. In addition, my various attachments (jealousy, struggling, lust, etc.) gradually fade away. I will do better in cultivating speech so that I can become more mature and save more sentient beings.

September 2, 2009