Look Within When Local Activities Are Delayed
Once again, an activity prepared by local practitioners was canceled. I wasn't surprised, since our environment is rather complicated; instead, I felt a bit depressed. In the evening, my depression diminished after calmly reciting the Fa.
I realized that I was concerned about the capability of our local group to do well. I observed all kinds of attachments in fellow practitioners, including the show-off mentality, zealotry, attachments for doing things; being "one-body" for the sake of it; coordinating only for the purpose of doing things; protecting oneself; distrusting each other-- all of which resulted in a broadening of the gap among one another, and practitioners looking outward instead of looking inward.
Through continuous Fa study, I realized that my concern was also a reflection of being unfaithful to Dafa. Aren't practitioners' firm, righteous thoughts responsible for the righteous elements in the universe? Aren't they disintegrating all evil factors? The righteous thoughts rooted in Dafa are not affected by any factors. What moved me then? It was that I was looking at others' shortcomings with a human heart.
"So, don't develop a new attachment as a result of not understanding the state of cultivation. That attachment would itself be a giant impediment to progress in your cultivation, so you need to get rid of it, too." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital")
Teacher has set the cultivation form for practitioners cultivating within a society. The side that practitioners have finished cultivating is separated instantly, so that what a practitioner shows on the surface is always the person who is cultivating. Therefore, in such a cultivation state, the most important thing for a practitioner to do is to look within, and have a positive view of things while remaining aware that things are reversed in this human world.
I realized that I have had a problem for a long time: I always hoped that practitioners could treat the difficulties that I personally faced, or things that I did with righteous thoughts; otherwise, I 'd have considered the practitioners to be an interference. Actually, I should have asked myself to consider the reason why I was interfered with, and why I always looked down on people, identifying which human attachments were exposed, and why I was afraid of being interfered with. These reasons included jealousy, a competitive mentality, complaining about others, afraid of one's self-interest being hurt, and being inconsiderate of others. As a matter of fact, deep down inside, I was protecting myself instead of the Fa.
There is another problem that remains: practitioners are gradually leaving our large group study (I also have the same inclination). There are always many arguments among the practitioners; I was also confused by several issues, and couldn't find the solutions to them either, so I felt helpless. When thinking about how Teacher asked us to join the big group and not to avoid our local cultivation environment, I thought about going back to the large group study many times, but never thought about why Teacher asks us to do that. Now I think that Teacher wants us to be true practitioners and not avoid conflicts, to look inward when a problem arises, work well together as a whole, and be responsible for Dafa and practitioners as one-body.
This is my limited understanding.