(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master! Greetings, all fellow practitioners across the world!
In the blink of an eye, I have been with Shen Yun for 10 months. In this short period of time, I have grown and improved as a trombone player after not playing the instrument for more than a decade. I am part of the Shen Yun Orchestra playing brass trombone and have toured North America, Canada and Europe. I am proud to be a member of Shen Yun, reaching out to all of the predestined people around the world. This is inseparable from great revered Master's strengthening and Falun Dafa's Divine Power. Here I would like to share with you my cultivation and my trombone playing experience during these last ten months with Shen Yun Performing Arts.
Joining Shen Yun Performing Arts
As a result of fortunate opportunities, for three years I played trombone in a marching band during middle school. Although I studied under a very famous trombone teacher in Beijing, since it was just a hobby, I let it go completely with much regret. A decade went by and I graduated from college and started working. I never had any thoughts of playing trombone as my profession, let alone saving sentient beings by playing it. Soon, the Divine Land Marching Bands were established in different regions, and I quickly picked the trombone back up. However, we only practiced on weekends and holidays and not as a profession.
Some local practitioners joined Shen Yun Performing Arts Tian Yin Orchestra and mentioned to me that the Shen Yun Orchestra was looking for professional trombone players. They hoped that I would practice hard and audition. I wanted to support Dafa projects, however, I was not confident in my trombone skills or my music background. So I practiced very hard for several days. Then I asked a local practitioner to record an audition tape and send it to Shen Yun. Soon the office contacted me for a face-to-face interview. However, because my cultivation state was lacking and my xinxing was not so positive, I wasn't clear about Shen Yun Performing Arts' mission of helping Master to rectify the Cosmos and save sentient beings. Therefore, I didn't participate in that year's tour. Afterwards, I paid a lot of attention to the Shen Yun shows. I not only watched many shows, but I also felt very excited and inspired after each show. A sense of sacredness rose up from the bottom of my heart. I thought to myself that if there was another chance for me to join, I should seize it and never let go.
In 2008, the office called again, asking me to join. I knew that this would be the greatest opportunity to fulfill my vow from ancient times, so I quit my previous job and right after Independence Day, I became a full-time trombone player for Shen Yun TianYin II Orchestra. Looking back, I realize that this was possible because I had studied the Fa more thoroughly and developed the correct attitude about Shen Yun and its significant impact. When a person's righteous thought is very strong, the old forces cannot take advantage of my attachments and stop me from completing my path and fulfilling my vow.
Changes Come from Studying the Fa Diligently. My Cultivation and Professional Playing Techniques Soar Thousands of Li Each Day
Although I have clarified the truth about Falun Dafa often, since I did not study the Fa in depth for a long time, I had drifted away like an ordinary person. Sometimes I felt I ashamed to consider myself a "Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciple." Upon joining Tian Yin II Orchestra, daily Fa study and exercises are guaranteed. Dafa's mighty power emerged before me. I remembered that Master asked us to "practice very hard," so I tried to use my time well to play the long notes and musical pieces from the show. At the beginning, you couldn't even hear the trombone part when the entire orchestra was playing. Later, I improved and you could actually hear me playing. There were all kinds of problems, such as being out of tune all the time, I could not keep up with the beat, and my sound quality was not pleasant to the ears, either. I could not read sheet music and I could not sustain my breath long enough to play coherent melodies. Even the young players in my orchestra knew my trombone skills were quite poor.
However, I believe that Dafa's mighty power is omnipotent. What manifests on the surface is just a process. As long as I listen to Master closely, I can achieve and meet the standards that Master requires. Only if I make myself meet the standards of studying the Fa well and practicing my technical skills first, then the miracle will happen. Only then would Master's magnificent energy be able to channel through my body. Then, for those beings who have come for the Fa, upon hearing Shen Yun's music, they would be inspired and their Buddha Nature would emerge.
In this way, my trombone skills got better day-by-day. I learned how to use a tuner and could play the pitches and arpeggios much better. When I first came to Shen Yun, I could not even play the scales in tune. Now I am able to play very lengthy segments during Dafa songs that express Dafa's magnificence and the grandness of heavenly worlds. Sometimes, I am so grateful that our compassionate Master has entrusted me with such an honor. He saved me from falling into this human world and bore so much karma and pain for my wrongdoings. My music skills and cultivation improved so much with each passing day!
One day, when I saw one of the audience members give me the thumbs-up after the curtain call, I suddenly realized that I, who trained myself with long notes using the tuner every day, had performed nearly 100 shows in first-class theaters all around the globe. All of this transpired in such a short 10-month period! This is truly unbelievable. Thank you, Master! Thank you, Falun Dafa! A few days back some practitioners asked me why I could play trombone well. I replied, "Only by trusting Master and practicing diligently can you play well. One should trust in Master wholeheartedly, without any conditions."
Hard Earned Achievement
Of course, nothing comes easy, because this is also part of cultivation. There were times when I lacked confidence and my righteous thoughts were not as strong. There were many xinxing and physical tests. The most important part is how much one truly believes in Master. Not only does one have to read more Fa to move past the low point, but also look inward constantly. I will recall a few examples.
When I first started breathing technique training, every day, I would be so tired that I was always out of breath. At night when we returned to the dorm, I was so exhausted that I would lay on top of the sleeping bag and couldn't move anymore. I could only get up again the next morning. This happened many times. Afterwards, the young players in my dorm asked me whether I had taken a shower or brushed my teeth. Whenever this happened, my heart was filled with sour feelings and sadness.
My lips would crack every day. Every so often, the flesh on my lips would break open during both morning and afternoon sessions. Then, the next day, the same thing would happen again. Whenever we had two shows in one day, there would be a sound check with the dancers, which made it like performing three shows! Oftentimes after the show at night when we were about to breakdown the stage, I didn't even have the strength left to talk. In New York City we were performing two shows a day at Radio City Music Hall. During the last several shows, my mouthpiece had literally cut into my lips. But as a Shen Yun member, I had to perform well and save sentient beings. Every note I played felt like a knife cutting into my lips. The pain was excruciating. Also during that time, the nerves in one of my teeth was exposed. The vibration from playing the trombone made the entire nerve system in my head feel like it was exploding and burning. Only I was aware of what I was going through. Towards the end, the brass section made some mistakes during the show. With a practitioner's help, I realized that I complained too much. This was very hard for me to acknowledge. However, I looked inward later and changed my actions accordingly. Afterwards, no matter how tired I felt, I would not complain. This way, the built up blockages were eliminated tremendously in other dimensions.
At one point I pulled my back and injured it. Because playing trombone requires big movement and the extension of both arms and the neck, my back was in great pain. Much karma was being eliminated. At night, I didn't dare to move or roll over, so I lay on my back the entire time. Gradually, I got used to the movement, and my arms grew stronger. Slowly the pain became less agonizing and more bearable.
There were many instances that I almost fainted because of lack of oxygen. At that moment I would lose my vision. I could not see anything except blackness in front of my eyes. This kind of situation occurred mostly while I was playing Dafa songs with long melodies or legato. When I first started playing the trombone, I did not know how to control my breath. Whenever I played melodies, I would use all my power and strength to blow the notes. When I would black out, I could not think or listen to the others playing. Then some practitioners helped me to understand that I sounded very "immature and loud." I could only play loudly rather than softly. Afterwards, I realized my attachment of emphasizing myself over the orchestra--the mentality of showing off. In fact, the sound of Tian Yin Orchestra strengthens with coordination among the instruments. As long as each musical instrument displays its own timbre characteristic and sound quality well during the show, Dafa's miraculous power of saving sentient beings will emerge. No other professional orchestra can compare to its purity at all.
I remember one time, when we first started playing "The Five Millennia Begin," in order to check the tempo of the song, we needed to do rehearsals with all three dance groups. This was my first time playing a Dafa song with more than 100 measures of full-blast melodies. Moreover, we had no trumpet player. To even perform this piece full time was exhausting. I would lose my eyesight. I perspired profusely and trembled uncontrollably. However, to better cooperate with the three dance groups' needs, we played nonstop six times. Every time we played, orchestra members around me checked on me to see if I was okay. To be honest, I wasn't sure about myself, either. I thought: "It's okay, even I feel suffocated. I'd rather be suffocated and make the sacrifice. The dancers' tempo test is quite important." Suddenly, a strong flow of heat has came up from my "dantian." Right away, I no longer felt like fainting. I was very excited. Afterwards, whenever I played "The Five Millennia Begin" it was not so painful. Although still tiring, I could sustain the necessary breath. I believe Master has given me this ability because I was being unselfish. Such instances also occurred during practice while trying to get my pitch right. I would practice all afternoon, but I wasn't able to achieve the correct pitch. Then, during the performance, I was unexpectedly able to play the music on pitch and with correct rhythm. My skills and physical endurance were enhanced like this day-by-day. During the entire course of playing the trombone, I have witnessed many miracles. I truly felt that how much I believed in Master and the Fa was how much improvement I could make in my trombone playing.
Life or Death, Walk the Path Master Has Arranged for Me
I had a technical job before I joined Tian Yin II Orchestra playing trombone. I had a very stable white-collar income and was also very confident in my abilities. I quit my job to become a full-time trombone player. For me, this was a test of life and death. I have always wanted to save money for my parents and become reliable and filial. If I didn't have a job, I would have no source of income. At that time, it was very difficult for me to make the decision to come to Shen Yun. Because my dad continued to practice Falun Gong when the persecution began in China, he was arrested and sentenced to jail for 16 years by the Chinese Communist Party. He's suffered all kinds of severe torture at the hands of the evil Party. My parents got divorced during my childhood. My mom was not with me while I was young. I have always wanted to treat her well and am very attached to this, also. After I graduated from the university, I bought her a luxury car. If I came to Tian Yin, that meant that I could not save money for both of my parents. The car loans and my student loans were huge amounts that would remain unresolved. Most importantly, there aren't any other family members practicing Falun Dafa except my dad and me, and nobody would appeal for my dad. For the 11 years I stayed in the US, I was using all my energy and resources to try to rescue my dad, telling his story to people I met and reaching out to all strata in society. I knew if I came to Tian Yin II Orchestra, I would put all my heart and soul into professional trombone training. I wouldn't have many chances to call for help for him.
It seemed I needed to let go of the attachments to my job, monetary gain, my parents, my family, and my boyfriend at the time by joining Tian Yin II Orchestra. However, I knew as a Falun Dafa practitioner, my mission is to follow Master, saving beings, ever since very ancient times. What Master has arranged for us is the most correct path. I considered it over and over, in the end, I had decided that, even though I couldn't comprehend fully based on my initial xinxing level, I had to harmonize what Master wanted unconditionally. Because what Master has asked of us would be the choice of the future universe. Once I reassured myself of the decision, coming to Tian Yin II felt like a dream. Quitting my job and moving only took a few days. In all circumstances, we should believe in Master with all our heart. Do not think that one can arrange one's own cultivation way and pick his or her cultivation preferences. "Everybody has his own fate."(The Fifth Talk, "Zhuan Falun," Translation Version 2003) It's a test in critical circumstances to find out whether you want to become an enlightened being or an ordinary person. Now that I look back, the leaps and bounds in my trombone playing skills have strengthened my righteous thoughts. I also believe that I vowed to become part of Shen Yun countless eons ago.
Giving Up Human Sentimentalities, Walking the Fa-Rectification Path with Correct Understandings
When I first joined Tian Yin II Orchestra, I didn't let my mom know. Fearing that, because she was not a practitioner she would not understand the situation and circumstances, I hid things from her and didn't tell her anything. After a while, I told her and she was very upset and angry. In order to persuade me to return to ordinary society and resume my previous job, she threatened to disown me and cut off any mother-daughter relationship by publicizing this through the newspaper. She pressured me with the carrot and stick approach. Listening to her crying and losing her temper, my heart was greatly troubled and I became very passive. I think this test was targeted toward my attachment to her and my regrets over our relationship. Therefore, I clenched my teeth. Every day I would make a phone call to her and try to comfort her. Many times the calls ended up with her scolding me and hanging up. Because my mom had misunderstandings, for a period of time, I endured great pain in my heart. Sometimes when I saw other orchestra members calling their parents, exchanging their understandings both like family members and fellow practitioners, I felt so alone in my heart. I couldn't contact or share my life with either of my parents. I couldn't make them understand what I do. These tormenting feelings preying on my mind were harder to endure than the physical pains.
I had loopholes and I was wrong. Doing Dafa projects is the most significant and wonderful, upright thing one can promise to do. I should have been open with my mom and let her know about Dafa. For a period of time, I hadn't communicated well with her. I hadn't told her the truth and saved her. Therefore, the old forces had been using this as an excuse to test my will to join Shen Yun Performing Arts. I needed to persevere. I thought that, even though I had shortcomings and attachments, my wish could not be changed at all. Moreover, I didn't pass the test of human sentimentality and was stuck for a period of time. It's really not befitting a cultivator's mindset. At that time, I felt like: "Persevering, lifting the feet, the ten-thousand-pound legs, Forbearing hardships, advancing whole-heartedly, discarding attachments;" ("Climbing the Tai Mountains," Hong Yin, Translation Version B) I clenched my teeth and eliminated a lot of fundamental sentimentalities. As a result, my mom became much more understanding towards me. Now most of my family members in China know I am playing trombone with Shen Yun Performing Arts. Some of them still don't understand. But my heart is not worried anymore. I am filled with happiness and a calm state of mind, walking the path that Master has arranged for me.
Certainly, I also have many shortcomings and attachments. I depend too much on the external environment for studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I need to improve my relationships with my fellow practitioners. I have a strong attachment to hoping that others will understand me more and so on. During the ten months that I have been with Shen Yun Performing Arts, there have been hardships and delightful rewards. However, every single step of the way was guided and protected by our compassionate and merciful Master. I truly understand that if we fully believe in Master and Dafa and express each and every note with a pure heart, miracles would be presented to us. There are many examples like myself in Shen Yun Performing Arts. It's not just me. This is truly is:
"Disciples' righteous thoughts are strong
Master has the power to turn the tide"
( "Master-Disciple Grace," Hong Yin II, Translation Version B)
These have been some of my experiences over the past ten months. Because the time is limited, I can't share all my stories and understandings and will stop here.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, everyone!
