(Clearwisdom.net) When I studied Essentials for Further Advancement today, I noticed a passage. Teacher said,
"If these acquired notions become too strong, their role will reverse by dictating a person's true thinking and behavior. At this point, that person might still think that they are his own ideas. This is the case for almost all contemporary people." ("For Whom do You Exist?" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Teacher said,
"[...] the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." ("Genuinely Guiding People Toward High Levels" in Zhuan Falun)
It is my humble understanding that Teacher is lecturing on attachments from different perspectives. Isn't cultivation about eliminating human notions? When one forms a notion in everyday society, one has formed an attachment.
Looking back at my cultivation for the past decade, I feel the biggest challenge for me has been to eliminate secular attachments. Every attachment is difficult to eliminate. Take the competitive mentality as an example. For the past several decades, I easily entered arguments for the sake of preventing myself from being harmed, fighting for more benefits and being tough and strong. Sometimes, I refused to even hear the word "no" when it was said to me. I was unhappy when I heard different opinions. I was always in the right. The competitive mentality has seriously compromised my personal cultivation and improvement. More importantly, it has compromised the effect of my truth-clarification efforts and preventing me from saving people. When people have a slightly different opinion, my competitive mentality has the better of me. Sometimes I would interrupt before they even finish professing their opinions. In the end, I finally identified my competitive mentality. Teacher told us that a cultivator must have a great mind of forbearance. If I am easily excited by different opinions, am I qualified to be a cultivator? So I tried hard to suppress the competitive mentality. I learned to tolerate different opinions step by step.
However, this is not an attachment that can be removed in one or two tests. Sometimes when I heard harsh words, I still was affected by them. My husband often picked on me or shifted the responsibility of his mistakes to me. Why was this happening? I searched inward and found that I might have tolerated things on the surface, but have not removed my competitive mentality completely. My space-dimension was not pure. I didn't have the forbearance at the level of a cultivator. This must have been the reason why my husband treated me this way. Perhaps it has been arranged for my husband to help me eliminate my competitive mentality. Sometimes it was difficult to forbear. I knew how I should have responded as a cultivator, but I couldn't help talking back as though it was the only way to make me feel better.
Why is the competitive mentality so stubbornly planted in me? I searched and searched inward and found that I had been soaked in the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) notion of strife. I believed that lacking the competitive mentality was a sign of giving up on myself. Now that I am a cultivator, I realize that this was wrong. Teacher said,
"If you compete and fight like an ordinary person, you are an ordinary person. If you outdo him, you are even worse than that ordinary person." ("Transformation of Karma" in Zhuan Falun)
In my daily life, I must govern myself according to the standard of a cultivator and rectify my speech and behavior based on the Fa. After many years of cultivation, I stopped arguing with people when I hear harsh words or when my family is spiteful. Sometimes I simply return a smile. Other times, I just don't talk back. I will search inward and ask myself: "Why is he treating me like this? Is there any human attachment that I should eliminate? I try to regard conflicts as good opportunities to upgrade my xinxing. Many years had passed before I made even a little progress eliminating the competitive mentality. It goes to show the difficulty of eliminating human attachments. It is indeed a serious matter.
Every day I prioritize my Fa study, persevere in sending forth righteous thoughts and keep up clarifying the facts about Falun Gong. While clarifying the facts and validating the Fa, I strive to eliminate my attachment to selfishness. In the environment of China, I aim to eliminate my attachment to fear. In October 2004, I moved to a different place with my husband. I wasn't able to get in touch with local practitioners in that area, so I didn't do very well in the truth-clarification work. I couldn't obtain Minghui Weekly either. I was getting very anxious. So I had nothing to do but to study the Fa at home and send forth righteous thoughts. I only clarified the facts occasionally. Then I realized that I was selfish. As a Falun Gong practitioner in the Fa-rectification period, I must validate the Fa and clarify the facts. I must not make excuses for slacking off. I started to learn to use my computer at home. Soon I learned to surf the Internet and visit Minghui.org. Reading fellow practitioners' articles at Minghui.org, I decided to utilize my capabilities and create truth-clarification materials in my home. I must not wait or depend on fellow practitioners. As I explored more, I soon learned to create truth-clarification materials! I felt better then.
Like many fellow practitioners, I learned what I needed to learn by exploring technology on my own. I often felt as Teacher is protecting me with compassion. When I ran into problems while creating truth-clarification materials, I could feel Teacher hinting me in different ways, and was able to quickly solve problems.
Because of my husband's work, we moved to a different area. This time we lived in the factory residence in an industrial district. The factory compound was our world. I had few opportunities to go out alone. I made less truth-clarification materials. "Am I going to be trapped here? Am I a Falun Gong practitioner if I stop clarifying the facts about Falun Gong?" I asked myself. I began to look for opportunities to clarify the facts. At the factory, I often got in contact with salespeople from different departments and truck drivers. I decided that I should clarify the facts face to face and talk them into quitting the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). However, negative thoughts surfaced when I wanted to clarify the facts to them. Fear, concerns and thoughts to protect myself obstructed me from opening my mouth.
Teacher said,
"Dafa disciples are the sole hope of salvation for the beings in each region and each nation." ("My Thanks to Sentient Beings Who Have Sent Greetings")
Teacher has bestowed such great hope in us, but I failed Teacher's expectation. Am I still a disciple? It is my mission to save people. Everyone I meet is predestined. I have already met them. What am I afraid of? I reinforced my righteous thoughts and rebelled against my human thoughts when I began to clarify the facts about Falun Gong to my salespeople, truck drivers, people seeking job opportunities and recycle collectors. I would chat first and change the subject. Because of my environment and time, I would tell them to quit the CCP first. Then I would tell them to remember "Falun Gong is good" and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance is good." I found that most of these people had never heard the truth about Falun Gong. Many of them thanked me afterwards. With a good start, I built up my confidence. Gradually my confidence rose. Fear was replaced with a strong motivation to save people. For the past year, the majority of the people I have clarified the facts to have quit the CCP. There are only a few individuals that have not accepted the truth or have not made a decision. It is no longer a challenge for me to clarify the facts.
As I continue to cultivate, all kinds of attachments continue to surface. I have many human attachments yet to eliminate. I know I will not be admitted to a heavenly paradise if I should fail to eliminate all attachments. However, it is excruciatingly painful to eliminate human thoughts. I must study the Fa more and truly cultivate to eliminate human thoughts. While doing the three things, I shall attain the standard for cultivators so that I won't let Teacher down.
