Clarifying the facts, Saving Sentient Beings, Ratifying the Fa

In the second half of 2001, I was held in a detention center for more than a year. After returning home, in order to make up for the time I was unable to study the Fa, I began reading and copying the Fa. Within two years I had copied Zhuan Falun and Falun Dafa Essentials For Further Advancement five times. Then, I started to recite the Fa. Doing those things helped build my base for clarifying the facts about the persecution of Falun Gong. A fellow practitioner and I passed out informational materials. When we ran out of materials, we downloaded more from minghui.ca (the Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) and had them photocopied.

Because I work in the retail business, I was able to pass out fliers to customers. Later on, when we started preparing our own materials, the fellow practitioner and I started distributing materials to farmers in nearby villages. We told anyone we met about the goodness of Dafa, and posted information anywhere that was suitable for taping posters. Although we worked from morning until afternoon, and traveled dozens of miles each day, we did not feel tired. After Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, I started sending the book to close friends and relatives, telling them the truth, and advising them to do the "three withdrawals." One time, my husband asked me if I would like to join him and his friends for dinner. I said I would, for it was a good opportunity to clarify the facts and advise people about the "three withdrawals." During dinner, all three friends withdrew from the Chinese Communist party organizations. My attachment of complacency led me to say that I would pay the dinner bill, which upset my husband. He asked if his friends hadn't agreed to the "three-withdrawals" would I still have paid the dinner bill? What he said made me realize my impure state of mind. Through this incident I was determined to be more careful about what I said and did in future.

During this period of time, I came across something that was pretty scary but not really dangerous. One time it just so happened that when I arrived at an apartment complex to distribute materials, I didn't have enough materials for the whole complex. Just as I reached the gate to leave, a woman stopped me and asked, "Don't go yet and get off your bike. Did you distribute Falun Gong materials?" She was pointing to the apartment building in which I hadn't distributed any materials. "Did you distribute to that building?" I said, "No." As her voice was very loud, a lot of people surrounded me and some of them even said, "Send her to the police station." I said, "What good will it do you to send me to the police station? What would my family do without me--can you imagine? What is wrong with giving you the facts? I didn't do anything wrong. Whether you read them or not is up to you; nobody is forcing you. I'm only telling you that Falun Gong is not like it has been reported on television." At this moment, the person who stopped me said, "Get all the materials you distributed, go away quickly, and don't come back to this apartment building again."

After returning home I kept thinking about the whole incident--where did I go wrong? Looking within, I found that I had the attachment of accomplishing a mission, and was not thinking enough about saving sentient beings. Also, I realized that I had wasted resources by distributing too many materials in this apartment complex. Having learned this lesson, I discontinued distributing truth materials to the apartment complexes in my neighborhood. Instead I began distributing materials in parked bicycles, telephone booths, shopping centers, shopping malls, and anywhere else I could get to on my bicycle. One night, after placing a CD in a spot where it would be picked up, I was really moved when I looked back and saw that a light was shining directly on the CD. I knew that Teacher was encouraging me.

Eliminating the Attachment of Affection

When I returned home from the detention center at the end of 2001, I knew that my husband had not been home for a long time because there was a thick layer of dust on everything in the house. Later on, I learned that my husband had taken our savings and was using the money to rent an apartment with a girl twenty years younger than he. My heart ached, and I almost collapsed, even though I was prepared for such a thing to happen.

Teacher said, "It has been said: 'When I come to this ordinary human society, it's just like checking into a hotel for a few days. Then I leave in a hurry.' Some people are just obsessed with this place and have forgotten their own homes." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Nine, Internet Version, Third Translation Edition ,Updated in March, 2000. USA)

Since we should only be staying for a few days, why did I still feel so sad? I was still thinking that this place was my home. It was so painful; I realized that I had to get rid of that attachment.

Teacher said, "As a matter of fact, when you agonize over infringements upon your reputation, self-interest, and feelings among everyday people, it already indicates that you cannot let go of ordinary human attachments. You must remember this: Cultivation itself is not painful--the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain." (Essentials For Further Advancement, "True Cultivation")

I asked myself again and again, "Are you a true cultivator? If yes, why can't you get rid of the attachment? If not, why continue to cultivate at all?"

Teacher said, "Whether you can let go of ordinary human attachments is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple who truly cultivates must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a cultivator and an everyday person." (Essentials For Further Advancement, "True Cultivation")

After understanding the Fa, if I could not eliminate the attachment, that would be my human mindset, my emotion, and my postnatal concepts. My mind was gradually calming down, so I decided to have a talk with my husband. I said to him, "To cultivate means having tribulations, so I am experiencing this problem. I don't blame you for mistreating me because Dafa is compassionate, and Dafa practitioners are good. However, Dafa is majestic and dignified. First of all, I won't say I want a divorce, because I don't want people to say that Falun Gong practitioners don't care about their families. That would smear Dafa and have a negative effect. On the contrary, I love this family very much and hope you will come back. If you want a divorce, I will agree to it; but, I insist on keeping whatever property belongs to me. I won't let the evil take advantage of me, rob me, or persecute me." After listening to what I said, my husband expressed his willingness to live a steady life with me and end his relationship with the young woman. Since then, the woman has called many times to talk with my husband including on the lunar New Year's eve; but my husband didn't want to take the calls. Every time she called, I expressed my wish to see her, thinking that by telling her the facts about the persecution and the goodness of Falun Dafa, I would be saving her. Perhaps because of my impure mind, she never did agree to see me. This incident finally faded away.

After cultivating Dafa for more than 10 years in a rough ocean, the word "grateful" is not strong enough to express my state of mind for our great Teacher's compassion. I would also like to thank fellow practitioners for their unselfish sacrifices, and for working hard for minghui.ca in order to provide a platform for free information and for publishing my fellow practitioners' cultivation experience sharing for our mutual elevation. Also we are able to read Teacher's latest Fa-teachings that guide us properly moving forward so that we will not be in the maze. Thank you again fellow practitioners of minghui.ca for your hard work.

January 15, 2009