Diligently Striving to Return Home With Master
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings revered Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. Although I had a lot of attachments and human thinking, Master purified me, a level-five disabled person who had all kinds of diseases. I, such a person who had always relied on medicines to survive, really felt my whole body become very light and free of illness.
At the same time, Master showed me many Dafa miracles, such as wonderful scenes in other dimensions, the condition of opening the heavenly circuit, the situation in which the Primordial Spirit leaves the body and the scene of negative beings being eliminated. Therefore, I deeply understand that every sentence Master says is true, for I've witnessed all of these things myself.
Looking back over the past more than ten years, it is with Master's care that I've made it here today. I cannot find words to describe my appreciation to Master. Now, I'd like to share my experiences over the past year with fellow practitioners, and hope fellow practitioners will learn lessons from my shortcomings.
1. Study the Fa
Master has asked us over and over again to study the Fa, study the Fa and study the Fa more. I also deeply understand the importance of studying the Fa. Therefore, I've closely studied the Fa. If I missed one day, I felt lost. Even when the persecution was most serious and I was held at the forced labor camp, I persisted in Fa-study. It is Master's Fa that has helped me to pass through one test after another.
After I set up a truth clarification materials production site at my home in 2003, I have always felt that there is never enough time. In the beginning, I studied the Fa by myself at home. When I studied the Fa with fellow practitioners, I found that some of them added in or missed words, and therefore I felt that participating in group Fa-study was a waste of my time and that I learned little. Manipulated by the attachment of selfishness, I thought that participating in the group study was interference to me and I would rather study the Fa by myself at home.
Revered Master enlightened me through different ways. Especially once when a fellow practitioner from a nearby village invited me to her house. There I found an elderly practitioner in his seventies who diligently attended group exercises in the morning and participated in group Fa-study in the evening although he lives very far away from the practice site. Someone made a calculation for him and found that the distance he walks every day from his home to the practice site in one year is equal to a round trip walk to Beijing!
Seeing that practitioner's steadfastness was like a mirror that shone light upon my selfish heart. I immediately felt extremely ashamed. Master asked us to "focus on how you study and cultivate." Compared with that practitioner, I realized I was a long distance from the Fa. Through studying the Fa and exchanging experiences with fellow practitioners, I realized that going to group study is not only a form, but also a principle issue of whether I could let go of myself in order to perfectly harmonize with the whole body, to harmonize the cultivation methods that Master left for us, to follow Master's instructions and to be Master's disciple. This sudden realization shocked me. Since I study the Fa every day and consider myself Master's disciple, why don't I follow Master's words? Since then, I attend the Fa-study group and am in harmony with the whole group.
2. Cultivate Xinxing and Get Rid of Attachments
Master said, "To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." (Zhuan Falun) Born in the ordinary people's dye-vat, in addition to being tainted by the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) twisted culture of competition, I had always held myself above others, which made me have strong attachments. During my cultivation, all kinds of attachments surfaced from time to time, such as the mentality of showing off, the attachments to fame and fortune, jealousy, the competitive mentality, zealotry, the nosy mentality and the attachment to being better than others.
Under the pressure of unlawful arrests by the evil and repaying karma through tribulations, I made it through through with Master's support and direction. Because I seemed to pass tribulations smoothly, there was a misunderstanding among fellow practitioners. Most thought that I studied the Fa well, recited the Fa more and had more righteous thoughts than they did. At the beginning when I heard this praise, I didn't take it seriously on the surface, but felt good in my heart hearing these things.
Afterwards when I studied Essentials for Further Advancement,
"Those who are attached to their reputations practice an evil way, full of intention. Once they gain renown in this world, they are bound to say good but mean evil, thereby misleading the public and undermining the Fa." ("Cultivators' Avoidances")
"Power is what everyday people crave, while fame is a great obstacle to reaching Consummation." ("Dafa Will Forever be Pure Like Diamond")
Master's Fa suddenly awakened me. I examined myself. Oh, I liked listening to those pleasant things. Wasn't this the attachment of fame and sentimentality? There were many bad attachments that I hadn't gotten rid of! I was not as diligent as my fellow practitioners thought. I should correct this misunderstanding.
After realizing this, I frankly talked about my shortcomings while sharing experiences with fellow practitioners. I said, "What you think about me is not necessarily true; I'm not as diligent as you think. I am like a peacock flaunting its tail. What you see is just the colorful side, but I've hidden the negative side."
I still had so many bad attachments but really wished to cultivate myself to return home with Master. Revered Master used many methods to help me identify and eliminate my attachments. Once there was something wrong with my printer, and I became annoyed. Two fellow practitioners who were familiar with technology came by. One practitioner complained that I opened the door for him too slowly, and later criticized me, saying, "How did you break this machine? After so many years, you still seem to know nothing about it." These words directly hit upon my deepest attachment - not allowing others to criticize me. Although I didn't say anything, I felt indignant and pushed back tears, answering back in my heart, "You might be worse than me if you were in the same situation!"
At that time I felt that since I was already in my sixties, it was embarrassing to be criticized by a young guy, and in front of another young fellow practitioner. I didn't realize that it was Master who used this fellow practitioner's mouth to get rid of my attachments.
"I hope everyone will do better and better at the end. Be sure not to become lax. You must not slack off, and you must not become apathetic. The other thing is what I said earlier about a necessary component that Dafa disciples are lacking, something they have missed, and that is your inability to take criticism from each other. You cannot refuse to accept other people's constructive comments and even negative comments. You cannot continue to push these things away. From now on all of you have to begin getting rid of this attachment. This isn't something that I am asking you to improve on one step at a time, as I usually do with things when I teach the Fa. Rather, this is a very crucial, final, major problem that must be removed now." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles" February 25, 2006)
"I can completely remove the material substance for you, but the habits that were formed are something you definitely have to remove--definitely, absolutely." ("Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan" March 26, 2006)
Master wanted to remove this bad thing from me, but I still stubbornly held onto it. It's impossible to go to heaven with this burden. I looked inside according to Master's Fa. Although I had set up a materials production site at home at the beginning of the persecution, I still knew only typesetting and printing. All the other tasks were still done by fellow practitioners. During these past years, I had always waited for and relied on others for help. As a fellow practitioner who started to make truth clarification materials later joked with me, "Although you started so early, you still know nothing." It was true! I really should look inside and get rid of my shortcomings.
There are many practitioners in my local area - where the persecution is very serious. We have the responsibility of exposing the persecution. I encouraged fellow practitioners to write down their experiences and use this opportunity to completely expose the evil. When I heard some fellow practitioners say they had nothing to share, my heart of worrying and complaint was moved again. While studying the Fa, I knew all of this was pointing out my human thinking. After I realized that, I exchanged experiences with fellow practitioners and gave them articles that had already been published on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website to use as a reference. As a result, the practitioners in my Fa-study group all wrote down their persecution experiences and all of them were published on Minghui.
I also often encouraged fellow practitioners to submit articles for Minghui. I said, "Minghui is a reliable website that Master opened for us; it is our own website. We should try our best to maintain it. If we don't submit various information, since practitioners who work for Minghui cannot come to Mainland China, how can they maintain the website?" Fellow practitioners understood and all actively came to maintain our own website. Someone who didn't know how to write provided their information and those who could write recorded it. After verification and editing, we submitted them to Minghui.
When I learned about the notice for the Sixth Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China, I repeatedly encouraged fellow practitioners to all participate and urged them to submit articles as soon as possible. I also emphasized again and again about the deadlines for printing and editing. Until around 5:00 p.m. on the evening of October 8, 2009, no one had yet submitted anything (the deadline was October 10, 2009). I thought well, it was fine since I had almost finished my tasks; therefore I could work all night and submit my own experience sharing article.
However, when I turned on my computer, a practitioner sent me a pile of hand-written sharing papers and said, "I've finished my part as long as I've sent the articles to you." Hearing that, my heart seemed to be boiling in oil and I couldn't find words to express my chagrin! Now the articles had been submitted to me; however, if I couldn't submit them online in time, I would be delaying fellow practitioners reporting their cultivation situation to Master. Those are fellow practitioners' heartfelt sharing. It is a serious responsibility! However since I typed so slowly, how could I finish typing them in time?
All kinds of thinking ran through my head. Suddenly, I remembered Master's words,
"Do you realize that as long as you're a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across--even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are--to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what's most important." ("Further Understanding" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
With this new understanding, I immediately started up the computer and let go of my notions. Master has already arranged everything, I just had to do my part.
I calmed down and started to type. I was able to send them out before sending forth righteous thoughts at noon. I again calmed down and started to edit my own experience sharing article. I firmly believed that I should put others first and send out my article last.
3. Helping Fellow Practitioners and Improve as A Whole Body
Because my parents were persecuted by the evil CCP, I still have an attachment to fear regarding it, and I am also deeply attached to protecting myself. In my cultivation, I also have an attachment of putting up my guard against others, and I'd hung onto this attachment for many years until I studied Master's "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital" (July 22, 2006). Master said,
"Since today I'm going into greater depth about the format and state of cultivation and spelling things out, when you cooperate with each other [from now on] you shouldn't have the attachment of putting up your guard against others anymore."
Afterwards, I was able to eliminate that attachment.
It was Dafa's power that got rid of this huge fearful stone that had pressed on me for many years, and that helped me live without fear, which even later gave me courage to provide accommodation and cultivation circumstances for practitioners who were forced to leave their homes due to the persecution. Without Master's Fa, I couldn't have reached that point.
After I heard that a fellow practitioner could not get Master's new lectures and the Minghui Weekly for a long time, I remembered that Master did not wish to leave any Dafa disciple behind. Thinking about how hard things became for her when she couldn't obtain Master's new lectures, I contacted her, gave her all Master's new lectures and many Dafa materials, encouraged her to do well on the three things and exchanged experiences with her. She improved very fast and quickly got rid of some bad things she had developed in ordinary society. Every several days, she would bring me a name list of people quitting the evil CCP. She also told me happily, "Right now I know my direction!" Seeing that she could harmonize with the whole body and seeing her start to strive forward, I felt very happy for her.
There was also a practitioner who had studied the Fa at my home before the persecution. But after the persecution began, she lost touch with us, fell into ordinary society and was going through many difficulties. Revered Master didn't abandon her and arranged her to walk back to Dafa through a matter that seemed to be accidental. Now, every day, we study the Fa and share experiences. She has good enlightenment quality, and measures her every deed with the Fa. Soon she corrected many of her omissions. After some time, I brought her to our Fa-study group. She harmonized into the whole body and quickly improved. Every day she goes out with fellow practitioners to save sentient beings.
Minghui suggested setting up materials production sites everywhere. I enlightened that it was the requirement of Master and Fa-rectification. I encouraged fellow practitioners around me to help in harmonizing this matter. Some thought that since they were elderly and not very well educated, they couldn't deal with this high tech matter. Then, after I had exchanged understandings with them according to the Fa, I said, "The Buddha Fa is boundless. Perhaps you cannot, but Master can and Dafa can. Everything is created by Master and formed for Dafa. As long as you are Master's disciple, you can do anything." Through continuously exchanging our understandings and experiences, their mind-set of fearing difficulty was broken through. They all bloomed as beautiful flowers. Some could be solely responsible for one section. Our cooperation brought much power and vitality to validating the Fa.
4. Passing through the Test of Karma with Righteous Thoughts
I experienced several sickness karma tests on my cultivation path. Under Master's care and with fellow practitioners' righteous thoughts I passed through the tests. In the evening of September 26, 2005, I fell from bed and could not stand up. My eyes and nose were distorted and I couldn't control half of my body. I seemed to be having symptoms of a stroke. I was not concerned at all. Instead I asked Master for help and didn't acknowledge that anything was happening to my body. Later, after fellow practitioners heard what was happening, they all came to help me send forth righteous thoughts. Twenty days later, I could again ride a bike to attend our Fa-study group.
5. Clarifying the Facts to Save Sentient Beings
I also deeply understand the importance of clarifying the facts about Falun Gong to save sentient beings. As Master's disciple, I also hope to follow Master's words to do well. But sometimes, my selfish thinking prevailed, and I would find many reasons which seemed to make sense to excuse myself and to hide my selfish heart. Actually if I can arrange my schedule well, nothing would be delayed. As long as it is what Master asks us to do, it will be the best.
At the beginning, I picked which people I chose to talk to. I wouldn't talk to those who didn't pay attention to me or that I felt were hard to talk to. Because of my incorrect thinking, I caused some sentient beings to forever lose their opportunity to be saved.
I remember Master said, "every person in the entire world was at one point part of my family." ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference" February 15, 2003) Realizing this, I felt deeply ashamed to Master and sentient beings, especially towards those who may have lost the opportunity due to my attachments. It is this matter that deeply moved me and stirred my heart. I decided not to miss a single opportunity to save sentient beings anymore and asked Master to lead people with predestined relationships with me.
Since then, I got rid of many attachments and used every possible circumstance to clarify the facts. For example, when there are activities being held, once I know about them, I make sure to attend and use this opportunity to save sentient beings. I once talked about the persecution to more than one hundred people when I attended a wedding. A Party secretary from another province said, "We came here just for quitting the CCP." He kept on expressing his appreciation and told me that he really liked to have me clarify the facts to him. I knew that it was Master encouraging me.
When I have to go out to do something, I prepare truth-clarifying materials in advance. In my workplace, I once held the job of secretary and because of my position, I had inadvertently led some people to go along with the CCP and thus they did many bad things after the persecution began. After I understood that the CCP is evil, I became worried about those people. With Master's arrangement, I met them again. I told them, "I didn't know before how evil the CCP is and wrongly brought you to it. Now I know how it's destroying the Chinese people. I wish to undo the harm, so I need to help you and bring you out of it." They felt happy and quit the CCP, including their families. They were all saved. I really feel happy for them.
I went to a neighbor's home to clarify the truth. After she listened and understood the facts, she immediately said, "Girl, hurry up to find a pen to write it down; save us!" Seeing this whole family being saved, I really feel happy for them.
6. Master's Arrangements Are All Best
After Minghui suggested group morning exercises, some practitioners restarted exercise sites and did group exercises every day. But most practitioners participated at home, including me. There was an experience sharing conference in my local area in August, and it was very solemn and sacred. After this conference, fellow practitioners shared this experience with other practitioners, which led all practitioners in my area to improve. This conference greatly moved me. Comparing ourselves with fellow practitioners, we felt encouraged to be more diligent. We are all Master's disciples and we should all strive to do well.
Several practitioners and I discussed together and decided at once to do group exercises every day. Since then, no matter whether it is windy or rainy, we've kept meeting to do the exercises together. We will keep on until we succeed in consummation. We've also experienced some tests. For example, there is no moon in the first half of a month, whether to go out when it's dark, whether to go when lightning flashes and thunder rumbles. Just go! Nothing can stop us from going back home with Master.
I enlightened that if only we walk in the right direction, Master will arrange the best for us. I've witnessed this myself. Some days ago, the evil strictly blocked the Internet. Nevertheless I could still surf the Internet. One day I couldn't surf it and was in a hurry. At that time, a fellow practitioner sent me new software to break through the Internet blockade.
I enlightened that as a practitioner, all things we encounter are not accidental but are Master's orderly arrangements. Therefore, we should not miss any opportunity. When we do well in cultivation, we are in line with the Fa. Then Dafa's mighty virtue appears in front of us. If we do badly, we should try our best to improve. Without Master's Dafa, we are nothing.
I deeply understand that I still have many attachments and shortcomings. Compared with fellow practitioners, I still have some ways to go and a long way to reach Dafa's requirements. But I have the determination to strive forward in the limited time left and to purify myself in doing well the three things. Let's not leave any regrets on our cultivation path! Don't disappoint sentient beings. Harmonize what Master wishes and follow Master to go back home.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners.