My Experiences of Cultivating Myself and Saving Sentient Beings over the Past Four Years
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, revered Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I'd like to take this opportunity to report to Master about my cultivation experiences in the past few years. This is the first time that I have participated in the Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
1. After Obtaining the Fa
I began to practice Falun Dafa in 2005. At the beginning, I only knew to read Dafa books at home every day. I seldom practiced the exercises and had no idea about sending forth righteous thoughts, let alone clarifying the facts and persuading people to withdraw from the CCP. As I kept studying the Fa, my body went through enormous changes, and all the illnesses that had bothered me for many years disappeared without a trace. Every day I conducted myself according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and never failed to study the Fa. I basked in Dafa's glory and felt immense happiness. I thank Master for helping me get on the path to return to my origin.
At that time, most practitioners in our area were elderly, and very few of them went out to clarify the truth. We also lacked informational materials. We had to take turns reading the only copy of Minghui Weekly and other materials. Every time it was my turn to have Minghui Weekly, I would read it over and over again before giving it to the next practitioner. Back then, I felt the experience sharing articles in the Minghui Weekly were too deep for me. To be honest, I couldn't comprehend what was said in the articles. But I did know these articles were well written and those fellow practitioners did very well. Later on, as I studied more and more of Master's short articles and teachings given in different places, I gradually came to understand that studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, and clarifying the truth were the three things required by Master.
I decided to do the three things as well, since I was also a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. I wanted to distribute truth-clarification materials but had no clue where I could obtain them in the first place. Then I figured I could write short truth-clarification sentences on bills before I used them.
Even though I was using truth-clarification bills every day, I felt this method only reached a limited audience. Moreover, it was not too easy to communicate very clearly this way. I figured it would be much better to have truth-clarification materials.
2. Distributing Truth-clarification Materials to Save Sentient Beings
In July 2006, I ran into an elderly couple. Now looking back, I realized that my encounter with the two practitioners was Master's arrangement. I learned from them that it was not easy to get materials. As a matter of fact, they had to go out of town to get original copies of the materials. Then they used their savings to make more copies of these materials. At that time, many practitioners in our area only read Master's teachings, but didn't read Minghui Weekly or other truth-clarification materials. Even if there were materials available, no one was willing to go out to distribute them.
The next day I went to the elderly couple's home and joined them in distributing the materials. Later, my mother-in-law and my sister also began to cultivate, and we worked together in validating the Fa. Sometimes I went to distribute materials with my sister or my husband (also a practitioner). Most of the time, I did the work by myself. During the day I rode my bike to faraway places. When I met elderly people, I gave them some materials, and asked them to share them with their family members. Back then I felt clarifying the truth to senior citizens would be safer for me.
One night I rode my bike to a residential area. Just as I parked my bike and got ready to distribute materials, I noticed a shadow not far behind me. I hesitated a bit, unsure if I should continue with my plan. I walked my bike backwards, and the shadow also stepped back. When I pushed my bike forward, that shadow did the same thing. I then made up my mind that I would save the sentient beings in this area, regardless of whether or not that shadow was a human being or a ghost. I recited the following poem from "Benevolent Might" in Hong Yin:
"Dafa is what you carry everywhere,
Zhen Shan Ren, rooted in the mind;
A great Arhat walks the earth,
Gods and demons fear with awe."
I passed out the materials without any trouble. When I was almost done, the shadow disappeared. I planned to cross a little ditch to leave the last two copies at another home. To my surprise, I stepped right into the ditch and got mud in my shoes. It was midnight in late autumn, and I immediately felt a chill. After I returned home, I realized that incident served as a reminder for me to get rid of my fear and zealotry.
One afternoon I headed for home with one bag in my hand and another on my shoulder. I saw from afar two police cars outside my home. I left the two bags at my neighbor's home before going inside my home through the back door, without being seen by the police. While my husband was talking to the police at the doorstep, I sent forth righteous thoughts. Not long after, the two police cars left.
After I picked up my bags from the neighbor's home, my husband and my sister advised me not to go out that night to distribute materials. I told them that I was doing the most righteous thing and walking the most righteous path. The bags contained Fa implements that could save people. With Master's protection, I would be fine. I got up at two in the morning and went out with my two bags. I saw a couple of police cars patrolling on the road and sent forth righteous thoughts so they couldn't see me. Right under their noses, I delivered Dafa's blessings to sentient beings and returned home safe and sound. When I returned, I saw my husband and mother-in-law sending forth righteous thoughts for me. I was so moved--we truly acted as one body. From that point on, every time I went out, they sent forth righteous thoughts at home. After I returned, we practiced the exercises, sent forth righteous thoughts, and studied the Fa together.
3. A Little Flower Blossoming in My Home
Because the original copies of our materials were brought in from out of town, sometimes we wouldn't get them until two to four weeks later. Minghui Weekly usually came in several issues. Some materials were also dated. We had to select the more recent ones or those without time limitations to make copies. It cost a lot of money to make copies. After a while, I thought to myself that it would be good to make the materials myself.
Compassionate Master saw my heart and made the arrangements for me. In October 2007, some out-of-town practitioners came to teach me how to get on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, download materials, and print them out. They were very patient and also left me with very detailed notes. They brought in computer equipment as well. A little flower of a material production site blossomed in my home.
From then on, I benefited from being able to read experience sharing articles in a timely fashion. I realized that I was still far from what's required by Master. I gradually learned to look within at my shortcomings. With the set-up of the material production site, more and more local practitioners stepped forward to clarify the truth. At this point, on behalf of our local practitioners, I would like to thank Master and the practitioners who assisted me.
Last March during the Olympics, the local authorities arrested several practitioners, including a coordinator who maintained contact with me. Many fellow practitioners hid their Dafa books, and declined to receive truth-clarification materials. At that time, due to my shallow understanding of the Fa, I had very strong fears and wasn't sure what I should do.
Standing in front of Master's portrait, I recited the following article of Master's from February 6, 2008:
Dafa disciples around the world: Greetings!
Dafa disciples of mainland China: Happy New Year!
Fa-rectification is sure to succeed, and Dafa disciples are sure to achieve Consummation. When Heaven dictates change, no one can stop it! The Fa's rectification of the cosmos and the re-creation of heaven and earth are coming to a close. The reformation of the vast firmament is charging forward rapidly and powerfully. What do a handful of wretched creatures above or on the earth amount to? The mighty virtue of Dafa disciples gloriously illuminates the universe. What gods and man alike have awaited and worried over has arrived. Save your sentient beings, fulfill your great prehistoric vows, and make good on the pledges you made!
Let me again wish you all a happy New Year."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I read the article over and over again. Gradually I calmed down and my fear went away. I decided not to move the computers that I had planned on transferring. After a few days, several practitioners came to see me and said, "These [machines] are people-saving Fa implements and should not become evidence of persecution." Yes, how could evil enter a field that is filled with people-saving Fa implements?
Since we didn't have any local practitioners good at technology and we didn't have any contact with other material production sites, the above-mentioned out-of-town practitioners would come once in a while to solve technical problems that we ran into. Under Master's compassionate care, and with the help of fellow practitioners, we have made it through all these years. Our local practitioners became willing again to receive and distribute truth-clarification materials.
4. Learning to Truly Look Within
About two months ago, my printer suddenly stopped working properly. We studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts to try to fix it. Sometimes it worked again, while other times it continued to malfunction. In the end, it completely broke down.
I knew nothing about ink printers, so I printed some materials about the IP4500 printer and began to study them.
I argued with my husband the whole time we were taking the printer apart. He complained that I always thought I was right. I responded that it was he who always refused to admit it when he was indeed wrong. He said he didn't want to talk to me anymore, and I replied it was so hard to communicate with him.
I called a "techie" practitioner, and told him that my husband messed up the printer. I said I wanted to buy a new one. He advised me to take the machine to a repair shop, but the shop was too far away from us. My husband tried fixing the printer, but nothing worked. The fellow practitioner called, again urging me to take the machine to the repair shop. I asked him to give us more time.
I began to study the Fa and look within. I asked myself why I was able to communicate well with other people, but not my husband. I said to my husband with kindness, "How about we have a good talk as an experience sharing between two practitioners?" We both found a lot of attachments, such as to fighting and the show off mentality, jealousy, and the attachment to saving face. It was terrible to see we still had so many attachments, just like non-practitioners. Looking back, I feel very ashamed. I was so lucky that Master pulled me out of the maze and awakened my righteous thoughts and conscience. The next day, when I tried to turn the printer on, I was surprised to find that it worked just fine!
Two days later, however, the ink cartridge wouldn't return to its position.
I studied Master's article "Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan," and tears ran down my face. "He blows up the moment his attachments are stirred up." Wasn't I exactly that type of person? I'd been cultivating for four years, yet I still didn't know how to be diligent. I thank Master for giving me hints to catch up.
Afterwards, I read a practitioner's article entitled "Eliminating Sickness Karma with Righteous Thoughts and Actions." When I was reading how that practitioner looked within in his quest to remove sickness karma, I suddenly thought about my printer. Wasn't I the same as the practitioner going through sickness karma? I always thought there was something wrong with the printer and wanted to get a new one. Wasn't I pursuing something? Just like what Master mentioned in the Second Talk of Zhuan Falun,
"Their teachers tell them, 'Don't go seek it, don't go seek it,' but they just don't believe it and they keep on seeking after it so stubbornly, and they get the exact opposite of what they wanted."
The cartridge wouldn't return to its position. Wasn't Master hinting to me that I wouldn't return to my origin this way? Wasn't I cultivating for nothing?
Even though I had found lots of attachments during my experience sharing with my husband, I didn't really get rid of them at their roots. I reminded myself to look within, but, in fact, I often fixed my eyes on others. During the past four years I was too concerned about others' cultivation.
I walked up to the printer and said, "It is my fault. You were working well, but I always thought it was your problem. Thank you for helping me to improve my xinxing and learn to look within." Then I switched on the printer and it worked right away. I tried it a few more times and every time it was fine! It was really like what Master said in Zhuan Falun, "A good or bad outcome comes from one thought."
The next morning when I practiced the exercises, I felt my field was compassionate and calm. It was filled with enormous energy, which made me feel very light and comfortable. My husband, who often failed to maintain the right hand gestures during meditation or sending forth righteous thoughts, was able to sit upright the whole time. He said, "I will never again shake or tilt my palm. That substance has been removed from me and I know how to cultivate."
I thank Master for his continuous efforts in giving hints for us to do well and offering us opportunities to improve our xinxing. We will remember Master's teachings: "For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool." ("Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference")
I know I am still far from Master's requirements and I still have lots of attachments to relinquish. I will work hard on the three things, cultivate myself well, and make good use of the time to save sentient beings and fulfill my historical vows.