(Clearwisdom.net) Like most fellow practitioners, I have a job. Recently, I found myself falling into a state of regarding doing the three things as work. I found that I felt it was something I had to do, like tasks at work. Sometimes I felt that I just didn't want to do the three things, my mind was unfocused and I was unsure what to do. I also felt fatigued and tired. I was very upset, but I just couldn't get over feeling this way.

Recently I read again Teacher's new article "To the European Fa Conference." I realized that slacking off is a fundamental attachment which must be broken through immediately. During this current historic period, we must be diligent and have a sense of urgency in order to fulfill our prehistoric vows. Teacher is still waiting, but He told us not to hesitate any more. Teacher said,

"Time is pressing for you as well as for the countless sentient beings in this cosmos. Perhaps Master has used heavy words. But I must ask those students who have long been in a state of confusion: have you really thought in earnest about what course to follow?" ("To the European Fa Conference")

I should have understood this earlier!

Through the long history of different lifetimes, human beings have developed many habits and characters. During the lengthy history of the evolution of the cosmos, the law of the old universe gradually declined and degenerated. Due to shortcomings in cultivation, we regard some incorrect state as a normal one, which could not really be described as a specific attachment. However, due to some inherent notions, I regard doing the three things as a job, protect myself and look outwards. Actually I am refusing to be assimilated to Dafa, relaxing myself and wearing down my willpower. Therefore, I don't have a sense of urgency; I have slacked off and can't be diligent. As a result, I don't have the wisdom and attitude of being energetic, substantial, positive and harmonious while doing the three things. Teacher said,

"At the same time, I would like to say a few words to those students who are failing to live up to expectations."("To the European Fa Conference")

When I think about this carefully, I realize that my understanding of the Fa was sufficient but I was not strict with myself. At this critical moment of life-and-death importance to the sentient beings in the cosmos, I am still bound and moved by various human notions, can't lay down my self, and can't save sentient beings diligently with all my efforts. How can I fulfill my great historic vows? Such a state is really far from the requirements of the Fa. I really failed to live up to expectations!

I identified my own shortcomings and wrote them down, hoping that those fellow practitioners who are in the same state of confusion can learn from this and be diligent. If you find my understanding not correct, please point it out compassionately.

December 13, 2009