Letting Go of Attachments by Looking Inward
(Clearwisdom.net) During the summer of 2007, local coordinators asked me to coordinate some projects, as they were shorthanded, but I tried to avoid helping out.
I had the attachment of seeking comfort and didn't want to be bothered with coordinating others. I didn't want any pressure or hard work. I must admit, even when it came to handing out truth-clarification materials exposing the persecution, or persuading people to to do the three withdrawals from the Chinese Communist Party and its two youth organizations, I took my good old time. Should I become a coordinator I would have to become involved. Besides I was afraid of failing to meet expectations. This would not only affect me, but other practitioners as well, and would cause damage to Fa validation. If that happened then I would be committing a great sin.
Several months later, recent articles supposedly written by Teacher were circulated in our area. This disrupted the process of our Fa rectification work. Some of the coordinators became homeless to avoid being persecuted, so local coordinators told me that my help was needed. At that moment I realized the seriousness of the problem. I realized that I had to let go of my human attachments. My life was given to me by Dafa. Teacher scooped me up from hell, cleansed me and turned me from an everyday person full of diseases and karma into a healthy and energetic practitioner with high and noble moral standards. When Dafa needed me, I tried to step back and seek comfort and be an onlooker. How could this be the mindset of a practitioner?
Teacher told us,
"...the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments. " (Zhuan Falun)
Since the the Fa-rectification is still in progress, the persecution of Falun Gong has not ended and many sentient beings are still waiting for us to save them, I had to pick myself up and get involved. I needed to walk every step well, constantly cleanse myself, improve my xinxing and do the three things well. I couldn't shirk my responsibility of being a coordinator. I had to be part of the one body, and ensure that we improved and elevated together.
Cultivating While Coordinating and Constantly Improving Xinxing
Practitioners who were part of the coordination team met weekly for half a day to study the Fa, share experiences and discuss what needed to be done. I found this to be a great help.
It came to my attention that there was a lot of conflict among coordinators. They didn't cooperate with each other, and some concentrated on the work at hand but didn't share and couldn't tolerate each other. I felt that coordinators should have a higher xinxing level than other practitioners. Why did we act like everyday human beings? Only when several coordinators were arrested did we begin to study the Fa with calm minds and look inward.
All the coordinators in our area gathered together, studied the Fa and shared our understandings. Everyone measured himself/herself against the Fa to find our shortcomings. No one commented on the shortcomings of other practitioners. We realized that we must cultivate ourselves well at all times and let go of the mentality of accomplishing a task. We must have a good environment for Fa study, look inward, and share our experiences. Our Fa study group has since been able to study the Fa with calm minds, share freely among ourselves, cooperate well as one body, accept responsibilities, and take other practitioners' business as our own. As a result the one body has become very harmonious.
My xinxing was tempered at that time. I felt that one of the coordinators was in discord with me and didn't want me to talk. Whenever I talked, he stopped me, but the more he pointed out my shortcomings, the more shortcomings I found about him. I felt very upset and thought of quitting the team. However, I am a cultivator. Why would he always have trouble with me? If I was doing very well, would he treat me like that? Teacher said,
"Whenever there is interference of one kind or another in qigong practice, you should look for reasons within yourself and determine what you still have not let go. " (Zhuan Falun)
I realized that I shouldn't only look at his shortcomings, but should look within for my own.
When looking inward and reviewing my words, actions and thoughts, I discovered many problems. I still harbored many human attachments hidden deep within me. I hadn't discovered them because they were quietly hiding in a corner of my inner self. I noticed only the ones that were really obvious. I thought I had spent a lot of effort to eliminate them, but I failed to let them go. Some of the attachments, such as complacency, showing-off, and competitiveness still emerged strongly at times.
When voicing my opinions and ideas, I always hoped others would listen and accept them. I felt that my opinions were always correct and always tried to persuade others to accept them. I became very impatient when I was ignored, and looked for ways to push my point. I even looked for practitioners who held the same opinion so that I could persuade the others. Therefore, conflicts became more pronounced.
I failed to look at the issue from others' point of view during conflicts. When I recently studied Teacher's "Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan," I realized that I didn't live up to Teacher's expectations. I didn't cultivate myself well and forgot to look within. Since I have come this far in my cultivation I should have matured, become rational and have a high xinxing level. However, I realized that my xinxing was still as low as that of everyday people. Teacher used other practitioners' mouths to give me hints, but I still failed to enlighten and look inward. On the contrary, I found problems with the practitioner who pointed out my shortcomings. Looking back, I'm very grateful to that practitioner. He made it possible for me to find many of my attachments, let go of them and improve myself. I can now see the benefits when looking at issues from other points of view.
Taking Part in Group Fa Study, Doing the Three Things Well and Elevating as One Body
The Fa study group I attended consisted mostly of older practitioners. There were two in their seventies, two in their sixties, and two in their fifties. The younger ones had to go to work.
I set very high standards for myself. I was always on time for the Fa study, cultivated well, never accused practitioners of anything, and remained calm and serene, so my xinxing improved very quickly.
Practitioners at our Fa study group set strict standards for themselves in accordance with the Fa, cultivated themselves well, cooperated with the one body and sent forth righteous thoughts as a group. We teamed up in twos or threes to clarify the truth and to persuade people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its subordinate organizations. Everyone's xinxing improved greatly.
One practitioner, who was over seventy years old, had not been in good health. She looked pale, had asthma, and sometimes could not even walk. After taking part in group Fa study and sharing with other practitioners, she improved very quickly. Regardless, she persisted in attending the group Fa study, sent forth righteous thoughts, and did the three things. One day she had symptoms of very severe sicknesses. She vomited and had diarrhea.
We all went to the areas surrounding the dark dens of evil forces to send forth righteous thoughts at designated times. At those times, we talked about her condition and worried about her. When we discussed how we could help her, she showed up. We were surprised and overjoyed. She said she remembered Teacher once talking about a practitioner who suffered a fractured leg as a result of the inhuman torture, and the doctor put a plaster cast on her leg without setting the fracture. This practitioner kept doing the sitting meditation every day and never ever took the broken bone seriously. Not long after this, the leg was back to normal and she was able to jump again. Our fellow practitioner said what she encountered was nothing, so she decided to rejoin the group. Since she let go of the attachment to "illnesses," her health return to normal.
Another practitioner of over seventy hadn't learned to read and write, but after learning Falun Gong she was able to read Teacher's lectures and recent articles, though she asked others whenever she came across a new word. She also learned to do tasks such as burning DVD's and buying consumable goods at the market. Another practitioner who had no education handed in a list of a dozen or more names who wanted to do the three withdrawals during our Fa study group.
When individual practitioners were doing well, the cooperation as one body also went well. When practitioners had illness symptoms the Fa study group helped the practitioner pass the tribulations. One day when a practitioner was arrested and taken to the police station while posting truth-clarification posters, practitioners sent righteous thoughts outside the police station. In less than half an hour the practitioner walked out of the station.
One day when I was distributing truth-clarification materials with another practitioner, we were followed by a police car. Several officers jumped out of the police car and encircled us. They wanted to search our bags. At the time we were all very calm and peaceful. We sent righteous thoughts and begged Teacher to support us. With the compassionate care of Teacher we froze the officers with our righteous thoughts. In less than three minutes we left the scene.
In order to disintegrate the persecution of detained practitioners, our Fa study group went to a dark den to send forth righteous thoughts at close range every Monday morning. It didn't matter if it was bitterly cold or hot, the bad weather didn't stop us. On the contrary, whatever the weather, each one of us was involved.
If there was a storm when I left home, it often cleared up soon after I left. During hot weather I didn't feel hot when I was sending righteous thoughts, and sometimes felt a cool breeze. Of course, sometimes I was soaked from the rain. I enlightened that when doing things with a pure mind, Teacher protects us and gives us encouragement, so everything goes smoothly.
Attending group Fa study was very beneficial. We compared our cultivation to find how to progress and elevate as one body. In this group my xinxing improved very quickly, but compared with fellow practitioners I still had to let go of a lot of notions. They helped me see my shortcomings. They also gave me confidence and strength.
As long as I can melt into the one body, set higher requirements for myself and do well with the three things that we must do, I'm determined to be a qualified Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioner. Thanks to Teacher's compassionate care, the worst days are over, but I will not slow down and will walk the last leg of the path well.