(Clearwisdom.net) It seemed that superficially I had cultivated pretty well and other practitioners often praised me. I understand, of course, what I've been doing is nothing more than what a Dafa practitioner should do--it's our responsibility, our duty. I'm also aware that everything, in fact, is done by Teacher, whereas what we do is only using our mouths, legs, and hands. Without Teacher and Dafa, we can do nothing. I always warned myself that I shouldn't have any complacency, but unknowingly I became complacent.
First of all, a conflict developed between my husband and me. I was not allowed to talk in front of him, and I became so upset that I was unable to eat or sleep. In my mind, I had been the main force behind the family, suffering for many years as a good wife and mother of three children. But I ended up being scorned by my husband. Thus, I began to be sick of food, and gradually I felt that my body had pain here, there, and everywhere. As I was getting skinnier and skinnier, I started to cough non-stop, and when it got worse, I ended up coughing up blood. When the situation became more serious, my children took me to the hospital.
Doctors at the hospital said that I might die at anytime. According to the physical examination, there was a large lump on my left hip and a tumor (possibly a lymph node) on my neck that might be a ten-year-old cancer. But these were only what they found during the preliminary exam. I was so skinny that the doctors were afraid to do surgery on me, and my children were afraid to let them. In fact, Teacher was protecting me, waiting for me to come around through my own cultivation. I knew that what happened to me was just a manifestation of my cultivation state.
During the three-week stay at the hospital, I had Teacher and Dafa in mind all the time; I was determined to conquer the tribulation, begging Teacher to give me strength, because I hadn't completed my mission and I had to wait for Teacher to take me back where I came from. Each day I listened to Teacher's lectures and also sent forth righteous thoughts at the scheduled times. I asked for Teacher's help to save the nurses, patients, and families of the patients. With Teacher's strengthening, I was able to help the people that I met there quit the Party.
After more than 20 days in the hospital, I returned home upon my insistence. I felt a little better when I got there, though the pain and coughing still remained. In the meantime, some fellow practitioners and I got together to do Fa study and share experiences many times. I began to realize that Teacher arranges our family to be our environment for cultivation and that I had to face the situation. As this principle of the Fa became clear to me, my hatred towards my husband disappeared, and my level of xinxing was raised. I had a heart-to-heart talk with my husband, and the frictions and barriers between him and me disappeared altogether. The following day, all my sickness symptoms disappeared, and my body felt lightened.
After I returned home from the hospital, I started to memorize Zhuan Falun,
Teacher said,
"...the Dafa disciples who have improved quickly are always those who have made Fa-study a priority. That is because the Fa is the foundation; it is what's fundamental for Dafa disciples; it is what ensures everything; and it is the avenue by which a human being journeys toward godhood." (To the Australia Fa Conference--November 18, 2006)
Now each night what I do is to think about whether my words and deeds are in accordance with the Fa
Through this lesson, I have learned to truly cultivate myself. In my Fa-study, I am committed to achieve:
Solid Cultivation
Study the Fa and gain the Fa,
Focus on how you study and cultivate,
Let each and every thing
be measured against the Fa.
Only then, with that,
is it actually cultivation.
October 7, 1994
