Being a Senior Monk for a While
(Clearwisdom.net) In the past when I studied "Jealousy" in Zhuan Falun and read that the senior monk was jealous of a junior monk who cooked the meals, I felt that the senior monk was so foolish and funny and wasn't like a real monk. I never felt that I had the same problem as that senior monk. Although I read the Fa again and again, I didn't compare myself with the principles of the Fa. Therefore, my jealousy had been obviously exposed. However, I didn't realize it and was even attached to finding others' faults to hide my own. Unexpectedly, I became a senior monk for a while.
I am a director at my workplace. There is another practitioner who works there as a clerk. We often exchange experiences and focus on how to study the Fa and cultivate. We have coordinated well with each other before. In ordinary society, I write very well, and am considered the so-called writer in my office. The other practitioner is also talented in writing, but due to less experience in practical writing, that practitioner is not highly proficient and is slightly inferior compared with me. However, when it comes to writing to validate Dafa, the situation is totally different. That practitioner is highly proficient and writes freely as wished. Although I also continued to write to expose the evil and validate the Fa in the past few years, both the amount and influence of my writings are far less than that practitioner's. In this situation, I inwardly admired the practitioner, and I sometimes felt recalcitrant and thought that each of us has our strong points.
The more I thought like that, the more fellow practitioners mentioned this issue in front of me, asking, "You both write very well. Who on earth writes better?" I said, "Mine is not good enough; he writes better than I do." However, in my heart, I was not convinced. The more I was unconvinced, the more Master arranged for someone to jangle me. However, I still didn't enlighten. For example, that practitioner always told me how the Minghui website paid attention to his articles and how good the feedback was. The feeling I had from hearing those words was the same as the senior monk's feeling while hearing others praise the junior monk. However, I didn't realize it. Conversely, I just thought it was the fellow practitioner's mentality of showing off, and I used it to hide my jealousy. Now, after enlightening, I see that I even became a senior monk for quite a while.
My jealousy doesn't stop here; there are many other aspects that were exposed. In my workplace, although I did not think that I had an attachment to personal gain, I felt unhappy when I saw subordinate clerks had obtained a higher salary than I did. In my home, when I heard my wife admire others for their power and money, I would say that they were all worldly possessions and that one brings nothing at birth and takes away nothing at death. My hidden message was to tell her that I am a Dafa disciple who already understands the true meaning of life and am the best. But actually I was using Dafa to belittle others and to validate myself. With this kind of attitude, how can I coordinate with fellow practitioners to form a combined strong power? With this jealousy, how could I save sentient beings? You can imagine the results.
Jealousy is very dirty thinking, and it is a sensitive issue. Therefore, fellow practitioners rarely mention it while exchanging their experiences. Today, I expose my filthy jealousy to all, so as to exhaustively eliminate it and get rid of all attachments, so that I can quickly mature in the Fa, use a generous and purified attitude to treat fellow practitioners, and use compassion to save sentient beings--to deserve the holy title of "Fa-rectification Dafa disciple."