Understanding Teacher's Quote: "As soon as others say something they explode, get upset, or start a confrontation with someone."
(Clearwisdom.net) In 2006, Teacher talked about how some practitioners are affected by criticism, "As soon as others say something they explode, get upset, or start a confrontation with someone." ("Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006"). At that time, I understood this comment to be only about practitioners sharing understandings and opinions with each other. It wasn't until recently that I truly understood what Teacher meant, that no matter who criticizes us, we must listen calmly.
The other day, I was talking with a practitioner. When I told him that I was not able to control my temper with my child, he pointed out that this was exactly what Teacher was talking about. I suddenly woke up. When I got home, I studied "Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan" once again. I read,
"That's how things will be for you, starting now. Whether you are right or not is, for a cultivator, not important whatsoever. Don't argue left and right, and don't emphasize who's right and who's wrong. Some people are always stressing that they're right, but even if you are right, even if you're not wrong, so what? Have you improved on the basis of the Fa? The very act of using human thinking to stress who's right and who's wrong is in itself wrong. That's because you are then using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself, and using that logic to make demands on others." ("Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan")
I understood right away. I had been dealing with things using everyday people's logic. I am a practitioner, but I had been using everyday people's principles to judge who was right or wrong. I had looked at conflicts with my child with an everyday parent's perspective. Thus, I was not able to look at my child's issues from a cultivator's perspective. The issues were never resolved, and I was helpless. I now realize that I was too focused on who had been right and who had been wrong. So what if I am right? I am a practitioner. I don't need fame or material gain in this world. I need to elevate my xinxing and give up my human attachments. Having enlightened to this, whenever I have a conflict with my child and the child will not accept my perspective, I now look inside and see if I have an attachment that I need to eliminate. When my child claims I am wrong, I can now often see that I indeed have a problem or an attachment. Isn't this what cultivation is about?