A Few Words Regarding: My "Self" and My True Self
(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher has taught us,
"Beings who don't have rational, upright thoughts and clear heads are the ones divine beings look down on most." (Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference)
Because in the past I was attached to my "self," I have been paying special attention to this aspect in my cultivation. I have realized in my Fa study that I should not be attached to my selfishness, but that I should find my true self.
I knew I was not cultivating well--I had a lot of bad thoughts and had many attachments that were not yet completely eliminated. Most of the time I could recognize my bad thoughts, reject them, not submit to them, and eliminate them with righteous thoughts. However, sometimes my mind would drift away with them without even realizing I was doing it. Sometimes I tried to resist them, thinking that they were not mine. But then I thought, "Aren't these bad thoughts created somewhere in my mind? If they are not from my mind, then whose thoughts are they?" It felt like I was fooling myself. I then realized that Teacher was trying to make me aware of the fact that they were truly not my own thoughts and were instead from my false "self." They were human notions, thought karma, external interference, and thoughts arranged by the old forces. My true self came from higher level dimensions and was created by the universal principles of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance", and thus compliant with the standards of that level. All the human notions I developed in this human world are bad and do not belong to my true self. My true self is made of microscopic particles and my current self is covered in thick layers of matter from this human world, including bad human notions and thoughts. In my cultivation I should get rid of them layer by layer. Only by doing that can my true self emerge. Attachments to fame and reputation, interest and money, anger, fear, zealotry, and jealousy are not parts of my true self. But in addition to merely denying them, I should do my best to eliminate them vigorously.
I have come to the enlightenment that whenever I don't conduct myself well in daily cultivation, it is due to my false self being dominant and my true self not being in control. I can conduct myself well when my true self is dominant and I can align myself to the "Fa" taught by Teacher. Let's think about it. When you do not study the Fa diligently, is it your true self? When you do not get up early to do the exercises, is it your true self? When you do not get up on time at night to send forth righteous thoughts, is it your true self? When you are unwilling to clarify the truth, is it your true self? And so on. It must not be your true self. Therefore, we should always be clear-minded and distinguish between our false and true selves. Only by doing this can we walk each step on the path arranged by Teacher leading to our original home.
Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.