(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, there have been a number of experience sharing papers on the Clearwisdom website that discuss the issue of eliminating lust. As a single Dafa disciple in my 20s, I have also suffered interference from lust in many ways and was trapped by it several times in the past. Under most circumstances, whenever a bad thought emerged, I was able to catch and remove it. Sometimes I would feel that I had eliminated it, but whenever there was interference or external influence, I would unconsciously think about it again and even act poorly. Especially in today's society, such external influence is everywhere. Sometimes I would dream of myself in a unisex bathroom that was very dirty. I would feel very sad and frustrated and hate my incompetence for letting down Master and His compassionate salvation. However, this dream reappeared many times and sometimes I could only find excuses for myself, thinking, "My cultivated side has been isolated and this is the uncultivated side showing itself." However, I knew in my heart that there was something I had not yet recognized. What is it that I was missing?
While learning the poem "Reaching Consummation, Completing Gong" from Hong Yin, the phrase,
"With compassion, looking at the world,
Only then, awakening from confusion."
resounded within me. I often ask myself, "Have I achieved this? Am I looking at the world with compassion?" With all of the deviated notions dominating human society, even though it felt intolerable when my classmates talked about them, I did not realize that there were certain factors inside of me that agreed with them. Not long ago, when I was searching inside, trying to find the problem behind my attachment to lust, I suddenly realized that all of my resistance to lust was only superficial. I did not stop it when it first began to take root in my mind. Specifically, whenever I saw someone who looked good, pretty, or charming, I did not realize that this was a form of lust manifesting itself. I was only resisting the other, uglier thoughts that appeared after these thoughts. Therefore, I was hanging onto some while resisting others.
Through studying the Fa, whenever I wanted to "take a few more looks," I would think of Master's words in "Cultivators' Avoidances" from Essentials for Further Advancement.
I was stunned: when I looked at people, my thoughts were swimming in lust and even enjoying it. How could I expect to get rid of the attachment this way?
Through studying the Fa, I began to realize that I have to get rid of this attachment if I am to eliminate lust. Master teaches us in Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun, "That desire and lust stuff are all just human attachments, and we should get rid of all of them." Yet, I was always looking out for who was pretty and who wasn't. Aren't all of these thoughts and actions a manifestation of sentimentality? Don't they have to be cultivated away? Only then did I realize that I did not study this well in the past. The Fa did not enter my mind, and I was only thinking, "I can do this slowly, I haven't cultivated to this step yet." In fact, I was not willing to give up my human notions and was creating excuses for myself, and even using a cunning mind to find excuses to help myself. Not willing to cultivate away one's attachments is simply not being diligent or responsible to oneself at all.
Soon after I realized this, I suddenly dreamed of myself in a big room filled with shelves of books. The frightening thing was that all of the books were about lustful things or by Mao Zedong. I was stunned. What should I do? "Burn them," I thought, and immediately thought about sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them. Some books in the dream wanted to run away, but I thought, "I cannot allow them to run to other places to harm others," and shouted, "Don't you run!" Immediately, everything was eliminated. From then on, those ugly, low-level thoughts that I once had were almost extinguished and I never had random thoughts about lust again.
The above is a small experience I had in the great Fa, and I hope that it will benefit all practitioners who still have similar attachments to lust. Please point out any problems in my sharing.
