(Clearwisdom.net) Through Fa-study, I have gotten into the habit of looking within. Almost every day, I try to rectify my human mindset and notions based on the Fa. Moreover, I have come to see that each difficulty, uphill battle, or anything that made me unhappy was actually arranged painstakingly by Master to expose my shortcomings, help me let go of my various human attachments, and improve my character, so that I can ascend to higher levels. Master has given us so much, and because I consistently look within for problems, I find myself improving quickly and my innate body changing greatly. When I cultivate diligently, I am able to improve daily.
Whenever I think that others have hurt me, I study the Fa, and the deeper meaning of the Fa would appear before me. I have realized that the root of suffering is human attachments. I must resist, deny, and remove them firmly. I would ask Master to strengthen me, and after I get rid of my attachments, I would feel myself changing, the old universe dissolving, and the new universe forming. The magnificent view in my dimension is beyond description. My heart is full of joy, compassion and peace, and I feel Master's grand compassion. I am often moved to tears by Master's immense compassion. Countless sentient beings in each layer of the universe and I are unable to pay back Master's compassionate salvation. The only thing we can do is to rectify ourselves in Fa-rectification and live up to Master's salvation.
I'd like to share my experiences below.
Individual Cultivation
I obtained the Fa in 1996. At first, I didn't know that I should study the Fa. Because fellow practitioners reminded me to do so, I forced myself to study the Fa. During Fa-study, my strongest feeling was that Dafa is the simplest and easiest path, as our cultivation is the fastest and the greatest shortcut. It focuses directly on your mind. As long as you search inside, you will break through different layers very quickly. Then I silently made up my mind that I would cultivate on the main road that is Dafa. I know how precious the Fa is and treasure the chance to rectify myself in the Fa.
Based my understanding of the Fa, I knew that I should be devoted to my work, and I spent a great deal of energy doing my work well. There was little time for me to study the Fa after work, but I still solemnly read the Fa or watched Master's Fa lectures. I did not want to miss any words, so I kept in mind Master's Fa in the lecture and even the way the words were pronounced. They remain fresh in my memory, especially the Fa about searching inside.
During the personal cultivation period, I faced a new challenge almost every day. I knew that it was all arranged by Master for me to improve my character. Even if I saw nothing, I knew that Master was beside me. I started to study the Fa and judge everything by the Fa. Regardless of how much difficulty I had because of my human attachments, I tried to look at things from the point of view of my true nature, and I did my best to separate my true self from my attachments. I looked at my attachments closely and let them go one by one. Regardless of how much reluctance I had, so long as I understood that I must let them go, I took the Fa as the first priority and got rid of the attachments. I thus found myself changing rapidly.
My Experiences of Searching Inside
While I was held at a detention center, I was beaten by the team leader because of my heavy human attachments. In order to resist and expose the persecution, we wrote a letter. When the authorities learned about this, they thoroughly searched our team's possessions.
Afterwards, I thought it over and wondered if what I did was in accordance with Fa. I thought there must be something wrong. I studied the Fa (Master's article that we copied by hand) and searched inside. When I evaluated my own behavior based on the Fa, I found that I wrote the letter with a heart of hatred, combativeness, and retaliation. My strong attachments gave the evil excuses to persecute me. The guards were pushed by the evil to persecute Dafa disciples. My attachments gave rise to the result, and so the source was actually me. Because I didn't do well, I destroyed the life that came here for the Fa and all the other sentient beings corresponding to her in other dimensions. I needed to redeem her poor view of Dafa and save that life. I wrote a sincere letter to her and admitted that I was wrong. The Fa is right; the Fa has told me how to behave, and it was me who did something wrong. She was touched by my sincerity. She stayed up all night and said that I was the only person in the world who understood her dilemma. From then on, if any practitioners didn't do well, she would say, "The Fa is good; you didn't do well because you don't understand the Fa well." After I left there, I heard that she was very kind to Dafa practitioners. I realized that my sincerity and willingness to admit the mistake I made moved her and awakened her kindness.
I wanted to share a lesson I learned with fellow practitioners. The truth-clarifying material production site in our district was destroyed. Two practitioners were arrested and the police took away a truckload of equipment and some materials. I was reported to the police by a practitioner's husband, and I was watched and followed. The safest thing for me to do at that time was to hide somewhere. However, I thought that leaving home was something that the old forces arranged for me, and doing so would disrupt the work I was supposed to do and the interaction with people I was supposed to have. I felt that I must stay here, live my normal life, and cultivate. Once I made up my mind, I locked myself in my home and adjusted myself for four days. I studied the Fa, sent righteous thoughts, and searched inside. There was a great disturbance to my Fa-study. The evil restrained me, made me feel sleepy, and brought about lots of selfish motives and self-interest in me. I had to concentrate my strong righteous thoughts to clear away the disruptions. I sometimes didn't know what I was reading until I read the paragraph of Fa several times. It took me four or five hours to read one chapter of Zhuan Falun. Regardless of how hard it was, I didn't give up. If such serious persecution occurred, there must be something wrong in my cultivation. I needed to look at it according to the standards of the Fa, and then I found the source of the persecution.
First, I sent righteous thoughts repeatedly, clearing away and negating the persecution. I did not allow the evil to persecute me, and I told myself that I will only walk the path arranged by Master. Second, I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear away the factors that disturbed my Fa-study and prevented me from understanding the Fa with my true nature. Moreover, I had a strong wish to find my attachments and get rid of them. I couldn't let the evil manipulate sentient beings to commit a crime against Dafa. I managed to adjust myself in this way to study the Fa calmly. When I really calmed down, the power of the Fa revealed itself before me and helped me to find my attachments. My attachments included showing off, jealousy, pursuit of Consummation, wishing to establish my mighty virtue, being afraid of not catching up with the process of Fa-rectification, a strong desire to do things, among others. At last I found the root of these attachments, which was selfishness--an attachment to myself. Behind every attachment is the selfish heart, and selfishness is the fundamental nature of the old universe. I saw that this was not my true self. Truthfulness-Benevolence-Forbearance is what makes up my true self. When I studied the Fa, I felt that Master was taking away the substances that produced my attachments. With further study, I realized that the evil's arrangement of persecuting me had been eliminated.
The more I studied the Fa, the broader my train of thought became. We set up a materials production site, and everybody felt a great deal of pressure due to our immaturity in cultivation. Our regular work and Fa study were thrown off badly. The time for Fa study became too short, and we couldn't study the Fa calmly. The result was that we became ordinary people doing things. The fellow practitioners at the site exhibited strong attachments and didn't think much about others. When a problem arose, we tended to look at other people for who was at fault and were reluctant to search inside. We had big gaps among practitioners, and we disrupted each other. Some fellow practitioners were in a bad state of cultivation, and there were many problems when they operated the equipment. They couldn't solve the problems by themselves and couldn't find practitioners with the technical skills to address the problem, so they went to the coordinator. The coordinator was brought along with them to the practitioner with the technical skills. The issue ended up affecting the whole group, but nobody realized this, as nobody was studying the Fa well. Moreover, practitioners wanted to change and convince others instead of themselves. They didn't give up their own attachments, and this created a tense environment at the site and problems in creating the materials. After we recognized these things as part of the persecution, we realized that we should search inside.
As the persecution continued, I realized the seriousness of cultivation and my responsibilities. If you don't cultivate well, the evil will find an excuse and means to persecute you and weed out those lives who take part in the persecution. I realized that we should be responsible for sentient beings and all positive factors in the universe. We should never allow the old evil elements to exist in the universe, and never allow them to utilize our attachments to control sentient beings to commit crimes against Dafa and lose their chance to be saved. We eliminate the evil not for ourselves, but for offering salvation to sentient beings. My realm ascended and I went into the state of living totally for others through studying the Fa, and my dimensional field was cleansed. On the fourth day when I left my home, I found that my surroundings had changed thoroughly.
As I was writing this article, I recalled another issue. It seems that some practitioners do not search within themselves until the evil persecutes them. In that context, they cultivate within the bounds arranged by the old forces, so the old forces are succeeding in those cases. They have made sentient beings who have persecuted practitioners lose their chance to be saved, made the families of the persecuted practitioners suffer greatly and turn against Dafa, and turned the energies of practitioners away from saving sentient beings. In that sense, these practitioners who wait for the persecution to materialize before searching within are affecting the whole body of practitioners. When we are too sleepy to study the Fa, unable to calmly study the Fa for a long time, or our hand positions are improper while sending righteous thoughts, it really becomes a very serious problem and an indication of persecution that is to come. We must take these problems seriously, study the Fa more and look within ourselves more. If we can persist in studying the Fa until we find our attachments, then I believe that we can solve any problem.
As I studied the Fa and went about my cultivation, there was another incident that made a deep impression on me.
A practitioner near me asked me to buy a specific brand of copy paper. As I was busy with other things and didn't have time to buy that kind of paper, I bought another brand and sent it to her. She determined that the paper I bought was not good, and she criticized me and complained over and over again. I tried to keep myself calm. I then sent her the paper I was using, which was the brand she wanted, and I kept the brand she thought was not good for myself. To my great surprise, she was of the belief that the paper I sent to her was not the kind she wanted and that I hid the kind she wanted. She came to my home to try to find the "evidence". When I opened up the paper that I bought for her at my home, she was of the firm opinion that the paper in my home was what she wanted, and she said that I had replaced the ones I sent to her with the inferior brand. That was more than I could bear, and all my anger came out. In order to prove that I was innocent, I even swore to it before Master's picture. I really regretted it afterwards, as I didn't stick to the principle of forbearance and compassion. I studied the Fa and searched inside, and I realized that the evil wanted to separate us and weaken us by making use of our conflicts. I wrote down my thoughts and sent it to the fellow practitioner. She then said that I was too selfish and discussed with my daughter about how to help me. I was confused about why she thought this. I searched inside for a long time and couldn't find the root of my attachment. I still felt wronged, and the things that separated us still existed. I thought that I must find the attachment. I sincerely asked Master to give me the strength to do so. I also managed to adjust my mindset for Fa study, and I studied the Fa calmly and tried to get every word of the Fa into my mind.
When I melted into the Fa, my recent behavior suddenly came into my mind. I was trying to help other practitioners to change the cultivation environment, and I wanted several fellow practitioners to get together to share experiences on Fa study and making improvements. On the surface, I was doing something good for the fellow practitioners. In fact, it was an attachment to helping fellow practitioners that led to my efforts, and that triggered the same from other practitioners. That was the root cause behind this conflict. I realized that Master wanted me to see my shortcomings and improve myself through this experience. I told Master in my heart, "I must live up to your compassionate salvation and let go of my attachments. However, was it wrong for me to help fellow practitioners?"
I studied the Fa further and realized that helping others, according to societal norms, is to do good and being kind. However, cultivators are not ordinary people and should judge everything by higher level principles. Then what's the attachment hiding behind my helping fellow practitioners, and how should I help fellow practitioners properly? My helping fellow practitioners, to me, implied that I was more capable, that I cultivated better, and that I was clearer about the Fa principles. I thought that I could only help others by being at a higher level than them. Then did it mean that I had cultivated better than others and thus put myself above fellow practitioners? Wasn't that an attachment? There were the attachments of showing off, validating myself, putting myself above fellow practitioners, and imposing my own opinions upon others.
I studied the Fa further, and I understood the Fa more clearly. Among fellow practitioners, there is no one who is higher or lower. We are all Master's disciples. In Master's eyes, we are the same. We should only remind, encourage, and support each other and walk well every step. When I better understood this Fa principle, I found that I had a complete change of heart. That was truly a process of turning my life into a divine one from a human one. My heart lightened immeasurably, and I was grateful for Master's compassion. As soon as I became clear about this, that conflict was resolved. The fellow practitioner regretted her behavior and came to study the Fa with the rest of the group. The gap between us was immediately removed, and our relationship became a harmonious one.
Behaving According to the Fa
During my cultivation, I have gotten into the habit of measuring everything by the Fa before I do it. If it is unclear how to do something, I study the Fa for guidance. For example, when a fellow practitioner was arrested by police, many practitioners went to the detention center to send the practitioner clothes or money. Then we heard that the practitioner would be heavily sentenced. My neighbor, a fellow practitioner, asked me to send 500 yuan to the practitioner. As I didn't have a good idea of what to do based on the Fa, I told her that I would decide what to do after I thought about it clearly. Because I had the wish to get guidance from the Fa, I was able to. I realized that we shouldn't send money to arrested practitioners. By doing so, we would be acknowledging the persecution. If the arrested practitioner were set free unconditionally, who would send money or things to her? Why did fellow practitioners focus so much on sending money or things? It was because they unconsciously thought that because the police ransacked her home and took away so many things, she would be heavily sentenced. So they were sending money and things to her, which was a form of accepting the persecution. It was leading to further persecution against her. Instead, we should be focusing on how to free her. After we discussed as a group, we decided to focus our energies on that, instead.
Rectifying Every Single Thought
A practitioner sent me some nice discs of the Holiday Wonders show, and I put four of them at the entrance of the building where I live. The next day when I got home, I found that nobody had taken the discs. At that time I thought that people were too numb and resisted such good things. I thought that it was a pity that they didn't want to watch such a wonderful show. I wondered what blocked them from it? I thought that I had completely denied the arrangement of the old forces, but it didn't work. I searched inside and thought about my attitude towards my neighbors. Some of them had withdrawn from the Chinese Communist Party and knew that Dafa was good. However, they never touched the literature that fellow practitioners left for them, so I thought that these people were numb to it. My thoughts was in fact unknowingly reinforcing their attitude. I had accepted their attitude as an immutable fact. After recognizing this, I set out to clear away the things that interfered with their improving their views of the Fa. I realized that they are beings coming here for the Fa, and they should support Dafa and assimilate into the Fa. It must be that the evil has exploited something in my thoughts and blocked their knowing side from learning the truth and being saved. I realized that I should negate these factors. A few days later, people had taken the discs home to watch.
Recently, there was often no satellite signal for the New Tang Dynasty TV (NTDTV) channel. On the eve of the Chinese New Year, there was no picture at all. I went to a neighbor's home and found that the situation was the same there. A practitioner in charge of technology checked it for me. It seemed that this happened because a strong wind blew the dish to face a different direction. I thought about it further. At the time when the wind was blowing, I was afraid that the dish would be affected. Indeed, after that the dish often malfunctioned. I realized that my anxiety was the reason for the bad signal. Later on, everything went back to a normal, and we watched the Chinese New Year Splendor without any problems. I realized that if we want to eliminate unnecessary interference, we need to give up our human notions and unrighteous thoughts.
When I was imprisoned at a detention center, the team leader was notorious for persecuting practitioners. I thought that all lives on Earth have come for the Fa, and many of them have taken a great risk to do so. However, many were arranged to come by the old forces to persecute Dafa disciples, and that they would be destroyed later on. These are the arrangements of the old forces. Master doesn't acknowledge them, and nor should I. I knew that I must try my best to save her. Over time, she realized that I was kind to her from the bottom of my heart, and she never treated me badly. She told me several times, "I don't know why, but I feel like I am committing a crime even if I speak loudly to you." I knew that was the power of the Fa at work.
Regarding the police, I told myself, "I will never allow myself to have any wrong thoughts or attachments that allow the police officers to commit crimes against Dafa. I should treasure their lives and be responsible for their future." The local police officers have never harassed me. Around the time of the 17th Chinese Communist Party Central Meeting, Communist officials were required to check on Dafa disciples. I realized that it was my righteous thoughts that prompted them to behave properly. Through these incidents, I realized that Dafa disciples' thoughts are very important. As genuine disciples, we must be very serious about our every single thought.
Our Brains Are Like Containers; the More Fa You Put in It, the Quicker You Change
When I have an opportunity for a break, I study the Fa more. This way, I can find the shortcomings in my cultivation, and better understand what Master wants us to do, how to do it, how to do it better, and the Fa principle for why I should do so. Thus I have been able to avoid many detours.
What I have done is far from the requirements of the Fa. I will cultivate more diligently and not leave any regrets in my cultivation.
