(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings esteemed Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I came to the U.S. in late 2006. I started cultivation during the Fa-rectification period. The past year has been filled with all kinds of tests and tribulations. The 2008 Western U.S. Fa Conference gave me a chance to sit down and calmly reflect on my cultivation path and share it with fellow practitioners.
Whose Attachment to Showing Off Is It?
Once, a fellow practitioner's daughter danced in front of me with a fan. She was not nearly as good as the dancers of the Divine Performing Arts Company. Also, her dancing was influenced by some modern dance tendencies. However, I thought it was quite remarkable that such a young child could dance like that. At first I was rather happy but after a while I grew bored. The child tried to keep my attention, looked at me and danced in front of me. I was growing increasingly impatient and thought, "Even such a young girl holds such a strong attachment to showing off." Later I thought that Master had told us that children learn from adults. It must be the adult's problem if the child did something wrong. I did not know that the child's parents had a strong attachment to showing off.
However, a few days later, I suddenly realized that it was not because of her parents that the girl danced in front of me.
Master said:
"I've told you that not only should the two parties in the conflict look for reasons on their part, even any third party should think about himself--why are you the one who observed it?" ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
As a cultivator, none of the things I run into are accidental. I should look within and look for why I was made to see it. In fact, the girl danced for me because I had a strong attachment to showing off, and Master used this girl to expose my attachment and see how absurd it is. Moreover, when cultivators show off, they can only show off their bad side, their ugly low-level human side.
After thinking more about the issue, I realized that the attachment to showing off is simply an attachment to fame, not just in human society but in cultivators too - they are all to validate oneself. In the future, once I realized that all wisdom comes from the Fa-- everything comes from the Fa--any attachment to showing off will be quickly subdued.
Large-scale Exercises Also Cultivate Xinxing
While reading Master's lectures, I read:
"Meanwhile, a person who only cultivates his character and doesn't perform the exercises of the Great Way of Spiritual Perfection will find the growth of his gong strength impeded and his innate body (ben-ti) unchanged." ("The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa")
Seeing this, I was shocked. Even though Master had said:
"If you're really busy with certain concrete Dafa work, you can ease up a bit on the exercises and find time later on to make it up. That's okay. The reason being, with these exercises, you can do them more when you have the time, and you can do them less when you don't." ("Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students")
I realized that this was Master's great compassion. However, it does not mean that we can relax. Because Master said:
"You must do well the three things that Dafa disciples should do well. You need to do the exercises. As long as the day of Consummation hasn't arrived you need to do the exercises, you need to study the Fa, and you need to do the Dafa disciples' three things. Definitely." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
Doing the exercises in a large group is a form of cultivation that Master gave to us. Since practicing outdoors can also help spread the Fa, I decided to get up early and grab everyone I knew to practice together.
On the first day a practitioner joined me, but I was left by myself the next two days. On the third day, I even began thinking maybe I shouldn't come the next day. During the Saturday group study, I talked with a few practitioners about outdoor practice. On the fourth day two more people came. With more people, we made it a point to practice and it was harder to let laziness and attachments to a comfortable life interfere.
However, one day, these two practitioners came after I had already finished the first set of exercises. First, they said that the practice site was not as good as where they went before. I said that this place has more space, and if everyone went to the other site it would be too overcrowded. Then they said that they wanted to practice the sitting meditation first.
In the past, I thought that it didn't matter which exercise to practice first. However, after reading "The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa" recently, I realized that there must be a profound reason why Master put these exercises in the order they are. Especially after reading Master's explanation of the first exercise,
"Cultivators should perform these movements as a foundational exercise. They are usually done first, and are one of the reinforcing methods for your cultivation."
I decided that it would be best to follow that order.
However, they said that it's better to practice the last set first, so that people can see us practicing the standing exercises, and even claimed that many practitioners in Mainland China have done that. We fought over this for a while. In order not to waste time, I agreed not to do the remaining standing exercises and started on the fifth one; however, we still missed a few minutes of sending righteous thoughts in the end.
I felt a little uneasy about these practitioners coming and trying to throw their weight around. They didn't give a good reason to practice the sitting exercise first. I thought that the sitting meditation can also attract people with predestined relationships to come cultivate. In fact, as long as we practice outside, people with predestined relationships will find us and begin cultivation.
I thought that they were too attached to their own notions, and even criticized them in my mind during meditation. Later I dismissed these thoughts, thinking, "Am I attached to the same thing? Attached to myself? And my opinion of things?" I believed that my decision was the best. Always wanting to find fault with others, my first reaction was always the same. Why do they have such attachments? Why do they have such strong attachments? I can easily see other people's attachments, but never think about why I was made to see it. I did not look inside and search myself. In fact, criticizing others is simply putting oneself on top of others instead of putting myself amongst them. I did not remember that I was also a cultivator.
As long as cultivators are together, we're in a good cultivation environment. In practicing outdoors, it also gives us a chance for improving our xinxing, for Master will use all kinds of opportunities to expose our attachments so that we can recognize and get rid of them. There are a lot of xinxing tests, it is only a question of whether we can treat ourselves as cultivators. Just like what Master said in Zhuan Falun:
"As long as you regard yourself as a practitioner, you will remember it right away and be able to restrain yourself, and you will then be able to pass this test."
A Wish Come True
A week or two before the Chinese New Year show, a few practitioners in LA began distributing flyers outside subway stations. One day, they were short of hands and I volunteered.
It is pretty cold in LA in the morning and in the evening. Amidst the cold wind, I maintained a compassionate smile on my face. I would pass a flyer to everyone who came up from the escalator, telling them that this is among the Top Ten on Broadway and the biggest cultural show ever.
After handing out some flyers, I saw a Hispanic man. He looked very familiar but I could not remember where I saw him before. A few seconds before he got out of the escalator, I quickly introduced the show to him. He grabbed a flyer and walked towards the right. I maintained my smile to introduce the show to other people, but also quickly scanning my memory, hoping to remember where I saw him before. He seemed to be doing the same, a few steps later, he quickly turned around and looked at me for a few seconds. I immediately recognized that impression, he was my immigration judge!
In court, recounting my experience helped the immigration judge and federal lawyers to have a deeper understanding of the persecution of Falun Gong. However, I still was hoping that they would truly see the beauty of Chinese culture that the Spectacular could bring to them, so they would be saved directly by Master. Not being able to tell the judges and federal lawyers about the Gala was a deep regret. In the end, I met him on the first day I was distributing flyers. Indeed, as long as we have the wish, as long as we can walk our path straight, Master will bring the predestined to us!
The Witness Could Not Come to Court Anymore
I failed my first application for asylum, and it was transferred to the immigration courts to be decided. The last trial was scheduled for February 7 where my witness (a practitioner) would come to court to testify. However, as it takes several months between each hearing, this practitioner forgot that she was to appear in court. Hearing that the New York Chinese New Year Splendor was short of hands, she bought a cheap return ticket to New York and helped as a reporter, and planned to return on February 8.
After hearing this news, I began to complain in my mind. I had talked to them earlier about appearing in court on this day. She was my only witness, the only person overseas who knew my cultivator's history from being persecuted to coming overseas. However, she forgot all about my hearing when she booked her ticket, which could not be refunded or changed. It seemed that my hearing was not even on her mind, and she did not even consult me before buying the ticket. She forgot about me totally.
However, I thought that the Gala is a Fa-Rectification project. They need as much help with reporting as possible. However, the trial is my personal problem. If I were to postpone the hearing, I would have to wait for another three months; however, it was still not as important as the reporting. Therefore, I told myself to put my self-interest down and put the Fa-Rectification as the top priority. I told my lawyer's assistant that my witness was in New York and would not be able to participate in court, hoping that the judge would postpone the hearing. The assistant told me that I didn't just get to pick my hearing dates, it's not my own backyard. Thinking about the integrity of the U.S. judicial system, I was a little uneasy inside. If there's really no choice I would have to get her to buy another ticket to come back early. However, money is limited. Not only would she have to sacrifice her reporting, she also had to sacrifice a lump sum of money. Therefore, I simply hoped that the judge could postpone the hearing so I wouldn't have to ask the practitioner to come back from New York City.
The next Monday, my lawyer called me and said that he had signed a document with the federal lawyer telling the judge that they believed everything my witness had said to be true, and so they didn't need the witness to attend the hearing anymore. Moreover, they asked the judge to make a decision based on the previous three hearings. In other words, we didn't have to have a hearing anymore. The lawyer said that, normally he wouldn't do something like that, because it is very risky. However, he thought that my evidence was strong enough. The persecution I met in mainland China and everything I've done here as a Falun Gong practitioner made the federal lawyer and my lawyer very confident about my case. The lawyer was also sure that, having heard so many persecution facts, the judge would make the correct decision. At the end of the conversation, he said that he hoped the correct decision could be made very quickly.
I was thrilled, cultivation is such a miracle!
"Genuinely cultivate Dafa,
Only this is great." (Hong Yin)
When we place Fa-rectification as our top priority, everything will come to a dramatic turn and the ending is always better than expected. In fact, many tribulations are the same too. As long as our xinxing improves, the tribulations are nothing at all.
I am only sharing a few stories from my cultivation over the past year or so. I know that I still have many attachments to be cultivated away, there are still so many things that I have not done well.
In writing this sharing I also realized that if I had come to the correct understanding on an issue and understood the Fa principles, I could write it down very quickly. For those that I cannot seem to write much about, even though I could feel the pain in going through the tribulation, I could not truly enlighten to the Fa principle, and the writing will be boring and monotonous. Moreover, attachments would also emerge sometimes. Writing sharing papers is a process of cultivating inwards, the process of reviewing the paper is a process of finding one's own attachments, and also of getting rid of these attachments.
Thank you Master for your compassion and for offering me salvation. Thank you fellow practitioners for all your help during my cultivation. Let us all be diligent on this magnificent cultivation path!
Thank you Master,
Thank you fellow practitioners.