(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings respectful Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I'm really pleased to have this opportunity to share some of my cultivation experience with you today. How time flies! Another year has gone by quickly. Under Master's care and with fellow practitioners' help, I have walked my path for eleven years since I began the practice in 1996. During that time I have experienced struggles with human notions, pain and confusion and excitement when I became acutely aware of some Fa principles. There is just so much to share; but today I would only share with you a few of the unforgettable experiences.
I. Abandoning human notions, correcting thoughts, and eliminating separations between practitioners
Master has told us again and again that we must look within ourselves. My acquired stubborn notions and the influence from Communist Party culture often manifest in my conduct, such as impatience, desire to compete with others and showing off, as well as a tendency to blame others. The most obvious is my habit of unintentionally shifting responsibility onto others whenever there is an issue. I did this for fear others would think it to be my fault. I wanted to save face. Furthermore, I would explain things to others over and over; to make sure people knew that I was not in the wrong. Sometimes I could not help but try all sorts of tactics to absolve myself from responsibilities, even when I made mistakes. Repeatedly explaining things from the standpoint of human notions and from my own subjective views and reasoning unwittingly harmed fellow practitioners. This created gaps and invisible barriers between practitioners, leaving loopholes for evil forces to take advantage of.
Sharing experiences with a fellow practitioner, I learned how a few words I said had caused him much pain, discomfort and distress. I had already forgotten everything I had said and I could not even recall what it was about. How could things happen this way? What was the root cause? Master told us in sober words in "Fa-teaching given to Australian Practitioners" that we must look within ourselves and cultivate inwards, and harmonize the whole body.
I watched the lecture twice in a row, and from time to time felt like crying. Master's boundless compassion and his urgent concerns and patient warning touched me deeply:
"Study the Fa more often. When you come across problems, you must all look within; cultivate yourselves well and save sentient beings. Walk well the last bit of your path!"
I came to the profound conclusion that the reason for gaps between fellow practitioners and me is my lack of in-depth Fa study, and my failure to truly examine my thoughts when issues arise. I tend to judge practitioners with my own notions. When I hear things that make me uncomfortable, I feel annoyed, thus erecting a huge barrier.
In fact, when you let such things happen, the old forces have already taken advantage of you, and those thoughts are no longer your own pure thoughts. I realized if I want to resolve this issue I must be determined, must study the Fa more often and cultivate inward, look inward and completely change my notions.
When sending righteous thoughts I would add one more thought: completely disintegrate the gap between fellow practitioners and me. Whenever I feel annoyed with fellow practitioners and blame others, I would send righteous thoughts to deny and reject the thoughts, thinking that they are not my original pure self. I find this very effective and feel those substances becoming less and less; and soon they would all disappear. When they have disappeared, and when I think of fellow practitioners or meet them again, the feeling of discomfort is no longer there. Instead, I have a feeling of warmth toward whomever I see. When issues arise, I no longer point fingers at other practitioners. Instead, I have the thought that they will do well. I do not add anything negative. I can also be considerate of them, because the field that I have let go of has been replaced with compassion. When I look at practitioners I have a much different feeling than before. I feel fellow practitioners have changed, and they have become kind, diligent, and better cultivated than me in many respects. I begin to see how I can learn from them.
When I have rid myself of the attachments to arguing and self-protection, when I sincerely put my views forward, I feel the surrounding environment instantly becoming different. It seems that because the Fa has rectified each one of my single unrighteous thoughts, and I have let go of my ego. As Master told us, the old universe was based on selfishness, and yet we are cultivating towards becoming selfless and altruistic enlightened beings. Dafa disciples should be one body under any circumstances. Doing away with the gaps between us and forming one body is a compulsory road for each of us to travel to completion. We must improve and ascend as one body. We must be worthy of the compassionate salvation Master has offered us, cultivate ourselves well, save sentient beings, and return to our true home with Master.
II. The key to cultivation of speech is letting go of the desire to show off
I have unwittingly formed many bad habits in the immense dye vat of human society, habits that are in contradiction to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Showing off (boasting, bragging) is a rather strong attachment. It shows everywhere without me even being aware of it, because it has become a habit. I always have a tendency to show off. If I have done something noteworthy I would talk on and on about it, in case others hadn't heard. When someone asked a simple question, I replied with an overloaded answer and went on and on about it. Sometimes I would make the same mistake with clients at work.
This drive to validate myself makes me frequently talk endlessly. I completely forget the standards a cultivator is to observe. A cultivator wagging his tongue too freely is a serious attachment, making his level drop to that of ordinary people. The old forces would have a loophole to take advantage of, and would have an excuse to persecute you. It would cause misunderstandings, conflicts and gaps between practitioners, seriously interfering with Master's grand plan for Fa-rectification and saving sentient beings.
We as Dafa disciples should do our best to restrain such human mentalities, making them ineffective. We should do our best to walk our path well and not give the evil any loopholes to take advantage of. In any circumstances and at all occasions we should act in an open and dignified manner, with big hearts. We must correct the various degenerated notions we have acquired in life. We might occasionally feel we have gotten rid of them, but they would re-appear when we come across new issues. Each of our attachments is like granite. However much we can abandon, Master will help us get rid of that much.
I'm a Dafa disciple, and I must measure and conduct myself according to the Fa at all times. I must follow what Master requests us to do - relinquish my attachments and cultivate well, to be worthy of Master's compassionate salvation.
III. Studying the Fa with a calm mind; overcoming ill temperament and letting go of an attachment to doing things
The Fa-rectification is progressing very fast, and many projects to get involved with. For a while I busied myself with things all day long and ignored Fa-study. When I studied the Fa my mind was not calm. I felt sleepy, absent-minded and impetuous. I let all kinds of human notions interfere with me, which gave rise to my demonic side. I would feel emotional and indignant toward my family members and fellow practitioners. I would rush through things in a flustered manner. I would become forgetful and often make mistakes.
Rushing into things with little wisdom diminishes the results of our efforts. For example, my daily calls to China were not effective. Sometimes I spent the whole evening making phone calls, and yet nobody quit the CCP. I would easily lose my temper over major or minor things, at home or elsewhere. I would think that nobody was doing well enough. I would raise my voice and shout at anyone I was talking to. Advertisements that were nearly in our hands fell through, and I could not even get the simple type setting right, making fellow practitioners anxious. A fellow practitioner finally helped me adjust it in the morning. I felt very bad and physically and mentally exhausted.
I calmed down and thought about my cultivation state. Am I cultivating by behaving this way? With such a great Fa of the universe, how come the more I cultivate the more I regress, and why is my demonic side is so prevalent? I thought about it and found the underlying reason- failure to study the Fa with a calm mind and having slipped into a mentality of doing things. Master has reminded us numerous times in his Fa-lectures that we must study the Fa well. Thinking of Master's teachings, I deeply regretted that I had not cultivated diligently. I vowed that I would catch up on the cultivation path.
Now I make good use of time to join the daily Fa-study with fellow practitioners on the Internet at 6:00 a.m. and do my best to arrange [time] for Fa-study and exercises, and to do the three things well. Our present need is to assist Master in saving sentient beings. We must save more sentient beings and find all the people Master wants to preserve, leaving out none. I must cultivate myself well and fulfill my prehistoric vow and leave no room for regret that can never be made up after I had waited for thousands of years. We must no longer let human notions interfere with our mission. If we miss this last chance that comes only in million years, we would forever feel regret. Let us make more effort, and let us together walk the last stage of our path well towards godhood.
The above are some of my cultivation experiences. Please kindly point out anything improper.
January 16, 2008
