Dissolve the Persecution from the Heart
Greetings Master! Greetings Fellow Practitioners!
I take this opportunity created by the Fa Conference to report to Master and fellow practitioners my cultivation experiences. Please point out anything inappropriate.
I was arrested when I was visiting fellow practitioners. My head was covered with a black plastic bag. The police pushed us into a taxi which didn't stop for a long time. We arrived in a deserted backyard. It was very messy, and a big dog was viciously barking. It was ghostly and gruesome. The website had reported that there were secret interrogation places in the suburbs. It might have been such a place. Scenes of fellow practitioners tortured and beaten to death flashed through my mind, and a thread of fear came into my heart. The police dragged us into a shabby broken-down house and we were detained there separately. What was going to happen next? We had no idea. At the time I had no time to think of myself. The other practitioners were young and inexperienced in dealing with the police. What should I do? It was better if I took the responsibility for them and admitted that everything was done by me so that they could have some relief. At that moment I used my human notions. On second thought it was not right. It was not a matter of upholding justice or making myself a hero. It wasn't something I should shoulder all by myself and the principle was not like that. If I admitted it, didn't I acknowledge the evil's persecution? Would it be right for me to admit committing crimes? We were cultivating in Dafa and saving sentient beings. We were doing the most noble and dignified things!
As soon as my righteous thoughts surfaced, my mind became calm. I then told the young policemen the truth about Falun Dafa and explained to them that they should never participate in persecuting practitioners. They said that they were assigned there temporarily and didn't know what the task was. I treated them as if they were my family members and told them that as I was old enough to be their mother, and they should realize that what I said was the truth and from my bottom of my heart. They listened seriously and raised questions now and then. I explained everything to them one by one. Occasionally I heard screaming from other rooms as the other police were beating my fellow practitioners. I explained the principle of "Good will be rewarded with good and evil will be met with retribution."At the same time I was sending forth righteous thoughts. Then a policeman came in and said: "Just now such and such policeman was about to exercise his arms and legs (meaning beat people) when he injured his wrist. What an idiot!"He also told them that they could go once the replacements arrived. I said to them repeatedly: "Young fellows, this is a predestined relationship that we have met. Please remember what I have told you."
As soon as they left, more than ten big policemen who looked very evil came in. One of them pointed his finger at the pieces of paper in his hand: "They have confessed. It's your turn. Quick, don't make us angry." Another policeman threw my bag on the floor and demanded: "Is this yours? Where did you get this big bag of stuff?" I didn't reply. I was staring at them and sending forth righteous thoughts. One short policeman with a badly pock-marked face came right up to me. His face was distorted. He raised up a rod and threatened: "Do you confess or not? I will beat you to death if you refuse to say anything!" That rod was a table leg with several nails in the top. The air was frozen in the room. The eyes of over ten police were fastened onto me. Outside, rain was falling heavily and the big dog underneath the window was madly barking. I was very determined at the time. Wasn't it only death?! I told them: "I can't say it. I will tell you why I can't say it. If I say it, people like me will be arrested. Their family members will then suffer as my family members do. I don't want to see them suffer. So I will not say it. If I say it, you will go and arrest them and do bad deeds, thus you will receive retribution. I don't want to see you continue doing bad deeds. So I can't say it."
As soon as I finished speaking, the rod in his hand went down to the ground. Those policemen went out with their heads hanging down. One thought truly determines life or death. The remaining two policemen cuffed my hands to the rails of an iron bed. I continued clarifying the truth to them. It was very cold, on a rainy spring night. They brought a cotton quilt and covered the iron rail and said: "The iron rail was too cold."A moment later they brought a heater and plugged it in. A short while later another heater was brought in and placed next to me. I knew that Master was protecting me and beings who knew the truth were awakening.
At midnight, we were transferred to a police station, and handcuffed to chairs with our hands behind our backs. Beside each of us stood two guards. We spent the night clarifying the truth to them. They gave us conveniences on the sly.
The police took my home keys and ransacked my house. They confiscated a desktop computer but didn't find anything related to Falun Dafa. One policeman asked me: "How many years have you been practicing Falun Dafa? Why isn't there anything in your home?" Actually I had everything at home: Dafa books, all kinds of truth-clarifying materials, typewriters, VCD recorders etc. But the police couldn't find them. As soon as I was arrested, I sent forth righteous thoughts straight away: the police could not see anything in my home and nothing was lost and other practitioners were not involved. Miracles happened that night. All sorts of Dafa materials were in my bag. I asked the guards and police to take them home to have a read. But they put them back into the bag and let my husband take them home. Not a single paper was lost. I hide the telephone numbers of practitioners quite well. When I needed to contact someone, I would write the phone number on a separate slip of paper. At the time I had two phone numbers inserted in the mobile. Police read the telephone number reflected on my mobile screen when it was ringing and said abruptly: "Ignore them. Those are from your practitioners."Then they put my mobile into my bag. When I was released, the slip of paper with the phone numbers was still in the mobile and no one saw them. But when I heard what had been taken from other practitioners' homes, I was very sad. Why was I so selfish? I only thought of the things at my home and sent forth righteous thoughts for them, why didn't I think of other practitioners? Did I still differentiate Dafa's machines and materials as this was mine and that was yours? Selfishness can manifest in countless ways.
We were locked in different cells in a detention center. The one I was in was called "Xinsheng (New Life) Cell." There were several other practitioners in the cell who had been detained for a long time. How many practitioners had been detained in this evil den for all these years? Some had died as a result of the persecution and some were tortured. With righteous thoughts, Dafa practitioners had created a relatively free environment in this evil den: We could study the Fa and we had all of Master's lectures which were passed down by previous practitioners; we could practice the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts, share our enlightenment of the Fa and clarify the truth at any time. Most of the inmates here knew the truth about Dafa and almost all of them had withdrawn from the CCP. They recited poems from Hongyin and Master's lectures. Some started to practice Falun Dafa and received good rewards.
Police from the branch bureau came to interrogate us separately. I didn't answer their questions but seized the opportunity to tell them the truth. The young policeman listened with surprise. In the end he said: "I don't understand what you have said. If I cannot see it now, please give me two years and I will follow you to practice Falun Dafa." He let me sign on the sheet. I thought to myself: Ok, I will sign and I will determine what I should sign. I put "acquitted and released immediately" and signed my name. He didn't say anything. Once outside the room I spoke to all the police for a long time. Other practitioners had gone for lunch leaving us alone. The gate of the corridor was locked. That group of police and I stood together for the whole lunch break. I told them about the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. They said that they had read it and it was very well written and everything in it was true. They admired the writers of the Nine Commentaries. I told them the facts about Falun Dafa. They all agreed that Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance was right and practitioners were good people. I mentioned the natural disasters and they agreed that most were man-made. I told them the principle of "Good will be rewarded with good and evil will be met with retribution". They listened in doubt. I told them to withdraw from the CCP. They said they were employed under the CCP system. I told them: "I have never met you before. Today I am treated like this (I raised my handcuffed hands). Why do I say all these things to you? Because I don't want to see you buried with the evil CCP and I don't want to see your family members suffer. Dafa practitioners are sacrificing themselves to save people. We treat everyone as our relatives and family members." Silence, heavy silence. There was thinking in the silence. The iron door opened. They sent me back to the cell. When passing the gate, I decided to leave. They pulled me back with smiles: "Please don't walk away. You have to wait until you are approved for release."
It was Master's birthday that day and also Falun Dafa Day. We held a special ceremony in the cell. After washing up, we washed several big apples and reverently put them on the plank beside the wall. We knew that Master was beside us. We heshi and kowtowed to Master and expressed our wishes with tears in our eyes. The atmosphere in the cell was exceptionally solemn. Even those who knew little about Dafa also felt the sacredness of the Fa. Then we divided the apples into forty-plus pieces and gave everyone one piece for them to enjoy the mercy of Dafa. They all solemnly accepted it with two hands and silently enjoyed the holy fruit that we offered to Master. Many people shed tears silently. Those several days we didn't eat and nobody demanded or tried to persuade us. They said they understood our feelings.
One afternoon officials from higher departments came to inspect the cells. We practitioners had a discussion and decided that we would seize this opportunity to validate the Fa. When those people came to the window of the cells, we shouted loudly: "Falun Dafa is good." "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good" "Stop persecuting Falun Gong" "People with belief are innocent."Our high clear voices shook the whole cell, spreading into the corridor and through all the cells.
Most of the time here was spent in self-reflection. This was the third time I had been detained. Dafa practitioners were spending every minute saving sentient beings while I myself was in jail being persecuted. What a big loss! I repeatedly recited the poem "Don't Be Sad"from Hongyin II and reflected on myself as to what kind of human heart I had that was so exploited by the evil. The heart of achieving things, competitiveness, jealousy, a show off mentality and others. I felt like I hadn't even begun to cultivate yet. And also the heart of fear. In "Who's to Fear?"in Hongyin II, Master said: "Should you have fear, it will seize upon you" What was I afraid of? Afraid of death? Afraid of losing family members? Afraid of losing self-interest? I had let go of some of the attachments in different levels. Yes, but this was not the direct cause of my arrest. Finally I understood that it was the attachment of fear of being "transformed." "Being transformed"in the initial stage of persecution was my biggest burden. I was afraid of being arrested. If arrested, I was afraid of being "transformed." If "transformed" my life would be completely finished. When I found this attachment, I felt it was laughable. Was there a question of being "transformed?" Who transformed whom? All beings in the cosmos came for the Fa, either to assimilate to the Fa or to be dissolved by the Fa. What was the hidden reason for my fear of being "transformed?" I asked myself: How much do you believe in Master and Dafa? Do you truly believe or falsely believe? Do you believe in your heart or are you just saying it? Do you still believe when you are in the midst of hardships? Facing the choice of life or death, do you still believe in Master and Dafa? While I was asking myself, suddenly I saw Master's law body in front of me and once again I was not able to understand Master's look.
It was before the persecution. By chance I met Master in person in a practitioner's home. Before Master left us, he stood at the door and looked at each one of us and finally locked his gaze on me. I didn't know how long it lasted but I felt that everything was frozen. There were many meanings in Master's look but I couldn't understand. There was endless hope and something more that I couldn't read or know. For so many years, I was not able to know the connotation. Now Master appeared in front of me again with the same look. In an instant I suddenly understood: it was worry, hope and encouragement. I couldn't help my tears rolling down. I cried with my head between my knees. Master had already known what would happen and also knew that I would give in to the evil. Master was worrying. Facing the evil, could this disciple pass the test? But Master was hoping and giving me encouragement. I was extremely ashamed of myself and so regretful. I couldn't stop myself from crying. Practitioners beside me shook my shoulder and asked me: "Are you thinking of your daughter?" I shook my head. They recited the poem for me "Dafa disciples, away with your tears." I still shook my head.
In bed, I stared at the cell roof with eyes wide open. I started to look inward from the beginning of my memory. From childhood I was very competitive. The school also taught students to stand out above others. During the cultural revolution, my father suffered such persecution that he died. Only if I became competitive could I gain a foothold in society. In school I made myself top of the class, while at work I ensured that I should be the most outstanding. I gained a whole basket of certificates and awards and nearly lost my life for them. After I obtained the Fa, I soon became an assistant. The purpose of my Fa studying was not to change myself but to coach others better. After several years I was good at superficial things but didn't cultivate myself. After the persecution started, I behaved like a hero in front of the police. When I was no longer able to deal with them, I was "transformed." When I was an everyday person, I sought fame while among Dafa practitioners, I still pursued fame. When I was wrong, I tried to save face. When I was right, I tried to keep the fame. I was afraid of being "transformed" because I was afraid to lose the fame. Most of my life was burdened with the fame. Though I had cultivated away most of the attachment to fame, the fundamental attachment was not removed. For ordinary people, fame is their life. For practitioners, whoever seeks fame is in fact to lose his original life. This was viewed from the perspective of an individual life. How should we view it from the Fa? In "Cultivators' Avoidances" in Essentials for Further Advancement, Master said: " Those who are attached to their reputations practice an evil way, full of intention. Once they gain renown in this world, they are bound to say good but mean evil, thereby misleading the public and undermining the Fa." How many lessons in history!
"Later generations, for fame, bungled the boxing art,
Altering my Tai-chi, sullying my name." ("Tai-chi" in Hongyin).
It was undermining the Fa. Why couldn't I enlighten to the truth that attachment to fame was undermining the Fa? I didn't pay much attention to this attachment. I nourished it and grew it in different periods of time and I didn't realize it. I was walking the path arranged by the old forces. I would not have recognized it or abandoned it if I had not been arrested and detained. Master told us to understand the Fa from the Fa. I held the attachment tightly and it was my human heart that appeared whenever I had a thought. How could I view things from the Fa perspective? I kept looking inward and looking deeper to find the root. I felt my mind becoming clear and clean.
I woke up practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts at midnight. My mind was empty: no name, no self, no life, no death, no division of outside cell or inside cell, no conception of going out of the cell or inside the cell. I only had a mission: follow Master to rectify the Fa, save sentient beings and leave behind a cultivation path. This was an evil den. It could detain human beings but not gods. Before we came to the jail and the forced labor camp we could send forth righteous thoughts from far away. Now I was right here. I would not stop sending forth righteous thoughts before the evil was eliminated. I saw the jail gate broken, the iron bars of the cell falling down one by one, the wall falling apart, and finally the whole devil den blasted and the sky full of rubble. At the same time four characters flew out and stood in heaven: Boulder blasted Heaven shaken.
That night I didn't sleep. When I got up, I found my head was empty but shining with nothing inside it. It was clear and spacious. I hadn't felt this way for so many years. I said to Master: "Master, it is time for me to go home." I heard my name called just then in the corridor: "Pack up and go home." At the time the whole cell was boiling hot. I took with me 27 names of people quitting the CCP.
In the corridor I saw other practitioners standing there. I knew that we still had to go through the process of leaving a forced labor camp. But it was impossible for the guards to detain me any further. In my mind I had already walked out. I passed through the university my child was attending and the work unit my husband was in. I closed my eyes with determination in my heart while reciting Master's poem "The Awakened One" in Hongyin: "Every form of travail has he weathered, Countless the fiends trampled under his feet"
The forced labor camp was like match boxes that I trampled and crushed. Of course the evil could not impede me. On the road to the forced labor camp, I squarely warned the police who continued doing bad deeds. The police drove round and round but couldn't find the camp. I said to Master in my heart: "Since I have come here, I will correct what I did wrong in the past." The police car drove through the gate into the camp. The person on duty was the head of the brigade where I was previously detained. I stopped her and told her about the three withdrawals and how Dafa had spread. I was taken to have a physical examination. It was of course not passed. When I came out, I continued telling her to treat Dafa practitioners well. I forgot what I should say to her. Master said beside my ear: "Quickly say what you want to say." Then I realized and quickly asked her: "Do you still have the documents I signed here? You are not allowed to harm others using these things. I declare everything void." She immediately stepped back and said: "It was gone long ago. Long ago." In that instant I felt the substance of the burden I had shouldered was dissipated.
The police car drove to the branch bureau and picked up the person in charge and drove us to the hospital for a re-check. In the car the person in charge sat beside me. I told him the facts. He had been present when they interrogated me last time. He patted my leg and said: "Big sister, please stop practicing." I also patted his leg and he jumped from his seat and his head touched the roof of the car. He sat down again. He nearly lost his temper but tried to calm down. I said to him: "You called me big sister. Then I can call you old brother. Please never ever be deceived by the CCP." Suddenly it became silent in the car. Nobody said anything.
After I came out of the forced labor camp, I felt dizzy and my heart thumped. The hospital examination showed that my blood pressure was 260 and heartbeat 148. The doctor was warning the policeman. When my family members came, the police left quickly. So my case was settled by police leaving it unsettled.
Twenty-three days I experienced being in the cell. Master was right beside us, protecting us and guiding us. When I was puzzled, Master showed up and let me see him and in a crucial time. Master talked to me. I cannot express my gratitude with words for Master's immense mercy.
Twenty-three days were passed and nine years were passed. Reflecting on the path I had walked, I felt more of Master's mercy. He lets us cultivate to maturity, establish our mighty virtue, be washed clean in each level and finally return to our original selves.
I am writing this story as if I were telling another person's experiences. During this process, with the progress of the Fa rectification, the clearing away of the evil and our own elevation, our insights into the evil persecution is changing. But to eventually break through the evil persecution we must start from our heart because Master tells us:"Remove your human thoughts and evil will naturally die out" ("Don't Be Sad", Hong Yin II)
Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!