Correcting Our Conduct to Better Offer Sentient Beings Salvation
(Clearwisdom.net) Hello esteemed Master! Hello fellow practitioners!
I have practiced cultivation for ten years. I would like to take this precious opportunity to summarize my cultivation experience and report to Master and share with fellow practitioners. Please point out anything improper.
1. Breaking out of prison with the aid of memorizing the Fa and sending righteous thoughts
In 2005, I was arrested for helping rescue another practitioner. I had seen many articles about practitioners breaking out of the evil den by holding hunger strikes, so I followed this example. My goal, based on self-centeredness, was to get out prison. Instead, their persecution of me intensified. I was forced to receive intravenous injections. I felt as if every blood vessel in my whole body was filled with drugs. I was at the brink of death. A doctor said, "She's got to stop having any more intravenous injections." But they didn't stop it, even after moving me back to the labor camp, until I stopped the hunger strike. I stopped it because I felt something was not right.
Then another practitioner was moved to our cell. She taught me to memorize "In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human," Hong Yin, and Hong Yin Vol. II. Since memorizing the Fa my righteous thoughts became stronger. I realized that I shouldn't be attached things of our human side and discovered my worry and fear. My determination to protest the persecution became stronger. I came to understand that the evildoers would not release anyone because he/she is weak, but would do so when the evildoers couldn't stand his/her strong righteous thoughts, although this manifests in many different ways.
To protest the persecution, I refused to put on the prison uniform. The guards punished me by handcuffing me to a radiator day in and day out, making my hands severely swollen. They also forbade me from using the toilet. I began another hunger strike. This time it was a protest hunger strike, not for the purpose of hoping to be released when weak enough from not eating, as before. Several days later a guard said to me, "It's OK if you refuse to wear the uniform as long as you start to eat." I refused the offer and decided to continue with the hunger strike. I shouted, "Falun Dafa is good!" A few days later they told me, "It's OK if you continue with the hunger strike, as long as you don't shout." I refused and continued to shout.
I longed to memorize the Fa. Then I received Master's articles, one after another, and began memorizing the Fa every night and reciting the Fa to other practitioners during the day. I hand-copied Hong Yin and Hong Yin Vol. II neatly on paper for other practitioners to read and memorize. The more I memorized the Fa, the better my memory became, the clearer my mind was, and the lighter my body felt. I did not have any of the painful feelings from this hunger strike like I had the previous time. No matter what the guards said to me, I would immediately respond with the Fa that was in my head. I no longer took the superficial human side seriously. When I recited the Fa to practitioners who were confused by the persecution, my body was full of warmth and energy. Practitioners who had helped the guards monitor us followed me to memorize the Fa at night.
I knew Dafa is indestructible. No matter what form of abuse the guards would use, be it electric batons, sleep deprivation or force-feeding with drugs, nothing would make me give in to the evildoers, because I am a particle in the Fa, and I must validate the Fa.
One night while in bed I suddenly understood Master's Fa in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference,"
"Of course, we don't acknowledge any of the things that the old forces arranged--I as your master don't acknowledge them, and Dafa disciples of course don't acknowledge them either. (Applause) But after all, they did do what they wanted to do, so there's all the more reason for Dafa disciples to do even better and cultivate themselves well in the course of saving all beings. When you encounter ordeals during your cultivation, you have got to cultivate yourself and look at yourself--that doesn't mean acknowledging the ordeals arranged by the old forces and trying to do well amidst the ordeals they've arranged, that's not the case. We negate even the very emergence of the old forces and everything that they've arranged; we don't even acknowledge their existence. We're fundamentally negating all of their things, and all of, and only, the things you do while negating and getting rid of them is mighty-virtue. It's not that you're cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them, not even acknowledging the elimination of their ordeals' manifestations. (Applause) So looking at it from this angle, what we need to do is completely negate the old forces. Dafa disciples and I don't even acknowledge the manifestations of their last-ditch efforts."
Although I had memorized this paragraph for a long time, I didn't understand the meaning of it until that very moment. It felt as if the sentences came from the bottom of my heart, and my mind was suddenly open. I burst into tears.
But I still fought one attachment during this period of opposing the persecution - the desire to get out of there! One day a practitioner said to me, "Think of yourself as a god. What would a god do?" I thought, "When the evil surrounds you, a god would first eliminate all the evil instead of planning something for him/herself." From then on I took lightly the matter of being inside or outside of the labor camp.
Besides memorizing the Fa, I would take every opportunity to send righteous thoughts. When the guards told me they were going to release me I did not have a feeling of delight or freedom. I sat quietly on my bed and sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil in that den of evildoers.
Recently, while reading Zhuan Falun, I came across this sentence,
"But it is going astray in qigong practice, and it is caused by one's acting that way intentionally at the beginning. Many people think that swinging their bodies around unconsciously is qigong practice. Actually, if one really practices qigong in this state, it can lead to serious consequences. That is not qigong practice, but a result of everyday people's attachments and pursuits." (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly understood there is no base in the Fa for hunger strikes, which I chose to use. Wanting to give up my physical being in that bad situation was actually very dangerous. Had it not been Master's merciful protection, I would have died a long time ago. I realized that unless I give up my attachments, nothing will change, even if I don't eat. To break out of the evil den, to my way of thinking, the key was Fa-memorization and sending righteous thoughts.
2. Correcting my notions regarding family life
I had left home and became homeless to avoid the persecution for several years prior to the one-year labor camp incarceration and did not return home until 2006. Many attachments were exposed
Prior to my detention my husband had been supportive of my doing the three things. He does not practice cultivation, but he had witnessed Dafa's wonders before the onset of the persecution and knew Dafa practitioners were the best people. When the persecution began, he helped me distribute truth-clarification flyers, putting up posters, make CDs, mail letters, and hand out pamphlets among his co-workers. Being a kind-hearted person, he is very popular, and his co-workers liked to watch truth-clarification videos on his computer. When I left home he had to take care of our son by himself. But he could give Dafa matters the first priority, and, as he put it, he was proud to be a family member of a Dafa practitioner; and Dafa matters are his biggest priority. I had taken his righteous attitude for granted, without considering how much he, a non-practitioner, could bear.
My arrest struck him very hard, and he almost suffered a mental collapse. He went to the labor camp several times, but the guards forbade him to see me. He heard I was on a hunger strike and was very worried. Every day as he passed my place of work he was saddened. When I was back home after my release from the labor camp, I felt he had changed and became another person. Because the CCP had intimidated and threatened him he was afraid I would be arrested again, so he no longer read the truth-clarification materials or supported me to clarify the facts, but would listen to me clarifying the facts to him verbally.
He saw me one day making a CD on his computer and was so fearful that he immediately pressed the off button. But the computer continued running, so he unplugged the power cord. The CD was not finished. My mind remained unperturbed. I knew it wasn't his own will making him do that, but was something bad in other dimensions controlling him, using his fear. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the bad thing behind him and ejected the CD. The next day, surprisingly, I found the CD was perfectly "burned." I found it amazing and told my husband about it. He also said, "Amazing! Amazing!" But he still wouldn't let me use his computer. He told me the police had confiscated his last computer because I had used it to make truth-clarification CDs. I realized I shouldn't rely on him and I should buy my own computer.
I went back to work, saved money and soon bought a laptop. My husband was frightened and urged me to get rid of it, or he would divorce me. I insisted on keeping the computer. He typed a divorce agreement, dividing the assets, and added our son's visiting time and gave it to me to sign. When he took our son out to play, I watched the video of Master's Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners. While watching it I realized that divorce was not based on the Fa. We should rescue non-practitioners, not rely on them.
In the past I had always been self-centered and dignified. Non-practitioners having a correct attitude toward Dafa have positioned themselves well, but they are not obliged to help me (including Dafa's matter), simply because they're part of my family. A non-practitioner cannot bear too much, and I should treat my husband with compassion. I decided to conduct myself following Master's requirements and not let the old forces harm my husband by taking advantage of my loopholes.
When my husband returned I spoke to him calmly, "I do not want a divorce, but the computer has to stay. I am a Dafa practitioner, and it's my duty to offer sentient beings salvation. If I waste this time for the sake of safety, then I am sinful. I will try my best to stay safe." He relaxed and said, "I didn't want to divorce either, but I was so afraid. I could not take any more. I will never say that word (divorce) again!"
I have corrected my habits in our daily life and conducted myself in the ways of a practitioner. Because I was not a good housekeeper in the past, my husband had been doing most of it. Now I cook dinner every day and clean the house when I get home. One day he was going to do the dishes and found I had already done it all. He said to me, "I'm sorry. You have done all the work these days. Dafa is indeed wonderful!" After dinner I would tell him and our son stories of traditional Chinese culture, and talk about how the Party culture had deformed people's way of thinking.
My husband told me recently he had a CCP-member co-worker and asked me to persuade that co-worker to quit the CCP. Sometimes when things happened my husband would sigh, "People indeed need Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance!" and began analyzing his own thoughts, considering whether they were good or bad.
My son has always had good thoughts about Dafa. I have read him Zhuan Falun several times and teach him traditional Chinese culture. One day I told him the story about how gods passed Chinese characters to human beings, and told him that writing the characters neatly was also paying respect to gods. That day he brought back his schoolwork, and his handwriting was exceptionally good. His teacher commented, "Such neat handwriting is unbelievable! It looks very appealing!" I understood this was Dafa's mighty power; otherwise, how could a first grade child have such good handwriting?
But other times my son is naughty and likes to play computer games and watch TV. I know it has something to do with me. I lack patience and compassion when talking to him; deep down it is because of my ego, and fear of inability to do the three things. These days we read the discussions on a practitioners' website forum together - about how to help young practitioners cultivate. He also saw his shortcomings. He remarked about the kindness of the readers on the forum: "If one person asks a question, so many readers would give answers and try to help; they're so considerate." Sometimes he wants to help me do truth-clarification work and say, "Who wouldn't want to rescue people? Doing such a great thing almost makes me cry. I will donate all my money to rescue people!"
3. Offering Salvation to Sentient Beings at Work
Besides widely distributing truth-clarification materials, clarifying the facts to people including our friends and relatives, the workplace is a bridge to connect with every segment of society. In 2003, due to work, I was able to get into an artillery institute in a military command area. The place was sealed up. One needs to have a pass to enter the campus, and two fully armed soldiers were stationed at short intervals. Security looked very tight. After a few attempts I was able to figure out which area requires an ID to enter, and which is a residential area or an office. The officers told me during my contact with them, "Underneath this military uniform we are the same as you. And we long to contact the outside." I understood that sentient beings want to know the truth.
Looking back over my path, when I did well it was due to my mind having chosen to validate the Fa and having developed an altruistic mindset. Having done badly was because of my ego. I understood that every practitioner's path is a magnificent history. It records the process of his/her cleansing bad thoughts with the great Falun Dafa, and walking toward the new cosmos after getting rid of all kinds of human notions. Every pure and selfless thought is magnificent and solemn.
In conclusion, I want to remind all of us of the Master's article "Cautionary Advice," in Essentials for Further Advancement,
"If every one of you can understand the Fa from the depths of your mind, that will truly be the manifestation of the Fa whose power knows no boundary--the reappearance of the mighty Buddha Fa in the human world!"
November 7, 2008