Looking Inward Is the Key to Improvement
(Clearwisdom.net) I am 52 years old. I had many diseases before I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1997: Mammary gland proliferation, aridity rhinitis, adnexitis, hypoglycemia, dizziness, osteoporosis and so on. Although not fatal diseases, they tormented my body and soul all the time, and made me look over 50 when I was only just over 40.
I returned to my hometown in July 1997. My elder brother and his wife had just learned Falun Dafa. My sister-in-law found the videotapes of Teacher's lecture in Dalian and we watched them together. When it showed Teacher removing illnesses for practitioners on the spot, I felt a formidable energy penetrating my head. In a moment, my entire body felt relaxed and I felt a joyous sensation that I had never felt before. I experienced the feeling of being free of illness for the first time in my life. I said to my elder brother and sister-in-law with excitement, "This is supernatural! I hadn't thought such a marvelous practice existed in the world. I must learn!" Since then I have been practicing Dafa. In these over ten years of practice, I realized how serious cultivation is, how it manifests in every moment, in every aspect, word and act in life. All things in life can manifest a practitioner's condition. Now I would like to give a brief report of my experiences in practicing to kind Teacher and fellow practitioners.
1. Looking Inwards is the Key to Improvement
There were huge changes to my body and mind after I began practicing Dafa. My relatives and friends were all amazed at the changes they saw. In order to let them know Dafa's wonderfulness and miracles, I often purposely showed them how strong my body had become. Recalling it now, my mindset was not pure and it had the mentality of showing off. After a long time, I saw attachments emerging. I was attached to my body looking good, young and beautiful, which were mixed into doing the three things without my noticing. I wanted to get things from Dafa, and was satisfied with all sorts of human desires.
In August 2005, I got a bad stomachache. I thought it might be the elimination of karma, so I paid no attention to it. But it dragged on. Eventually it turned into severe discharging of pus and blood. I became much skinner and emaciated. I was moved and often begged Teacher to give me hints, and looked for practitioners to share with. One practitioner said to me, "The stomach is a human body's internal organ. If they have problems, it means you are not looking inwards sufficiently." I was shocked! Isn't Teacher giving me a hint? I went home and carefully looked within. After several years, how many of my fundamental attachments had been removed? What other attachments had I not found? I searched and searched. I found a big pile of attachments, but they were all superficial. When I was doing the three things, I always related how many things I had done, and if I got good results then my body would change, as if everything I did was for that. My starting point in cultivation was not right. In addition to the strong attachment of looking outwards, my body had not changed for the better. I was a bit confused.
At an experience sharing conference, a practitioner told me her husband suddenly had diarrhea one day and went to the toilet over 30 times that day. He could not get up the next day, so she and her husband (a fellow practitioner) sent forth righteous thoughts. But it had no effect. She asked her husband, "What can we do?" He replied, "I know, I'm regarding it too strongly. How can a practitioner have such a condition? Get me a drink of cold water! I do not believe this!" After taking a drink of cold water, the diarrhea stopped. She said, "You can try doing that." I said: "No need!" I understood. It was not that the cold water had the effect, but that the practitioner truly jumped out of human notions, so there was a complete turn around! That is to say, after his xinxing reached the standard, the "symptom" naturally disappeared.
I blushed with shame. I used to dare not eat anything raw or cold, afraid of catching a illness. I dared not do this and that, but were these the concerns of a practitioner? You say you are a Dafa practitioner, that you can't be interfered with, but one's words and acts are on the human level. Just like Teacher said:
"When problems occur, instead of searching for problems in their xinxing, fundamentally improving themselves, or truly letting go of the matter and coming through in an open and dignified manner by another route, they focus on the thing at hand--"Goodness? why is it that I still can't overcome this thing? I've done better today, so it should have improved a little. Tomorrow I'll do even better and it should improve some more." He can never let go of that thing. On the surface it appears that he's letting it go--"Look, I'm doing well now." You're doing well now but you are doing well now for its sake. You aren't doing that for the purpose of doing what a true Dafa disciple should do!" (Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference )
It seems that Teacher wrote this Fa for me. I had been like this for two years. Why could I be interfered with and why had it lasted so long? Because my heart was impure. I held onto being human with one hand, and Buddha with the other. When problems occurred, I often fell into human thinking, so the evil could interfere and persecute me endlessly. Why did sending forth righteous thoughts have no effect? Because righteous thoughts are a divine power, only possessed by genuine Dafa practitioners. How can a human being have a divine ability? Using human notions to search for attachments and shortcomings are actually the biggest attachment and the biggest shortcoming.
When I truly realized my problem, the stubborn illness that disturbed me for two years disappeared! Cultivation is very serious. When we can regard ourselves as genuine practitioners, give up all human notions, and jump out of the human shell, then we are able to walk on the path of cultivation in an open and honorable way. Then we can do even better assisting Teacher in Fa-rectification, and presenting the wonderfulness and sacredness of Dafa to sentient beings.
2. Genuinely Practice Dafa, Be Firm in Practice
In July 1999, Dafa practitioners in mainland China encountered unprecedented suppression and persecution. In 2001, my workplace fired me because I practice Dafa. They took away my salary and home, forcing me to move back to my ancestral home. So I returned to my hometown.
After the 16th Congress Meeting in 2002, 610 Office agents had full legal authority to abduct Dafa practitioners. They kept sending cars to the homes of my relatives to arrest me. This caused great harm and stress to my family and made them live in fear every day. Some relatives were afraid of being implicated, so they sent me messages telling me they were cutting off all contact with me. No matter where I went in my hometown, no one dared let me stay. When I arrived at my mother's home, I was greeted with accusations and attacks from my brothers and sisters. My elder brother was angry, "The head of your workplace led police to our home late at night twice. Mother was frightened and trembling. Her heart disease recurred and she nearly died from fear, do you know?" I was so sad and said to them with tears, "I know, all our relatives have encountered different threats and pressure. But think about it, what did I do? I just practice Falun Gong. Being a good person, living according to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, what's wrong with that? Elder brother works in the judicial system and Falun Gong has not violated the Constitution or any laws. You do not need to be afraid of......" But my younger sister interrupted and said, "The CCP does not allow the practice! Can't you just stop? You lost your job, and were forced to move back home, why bother? If you still want to practice, you can't stay with us. This big family still wants to live!" Her words made me see through the old forces' vicious intention. In order to compel practitioners into giving up their belief, they will use any means to ensure that practitioners have no foothold in society.
My heart was breaking because I felt so sorry for them. I said to them, "Ok! I will go! But you must really ask yourselves: which is good, which is bad, which is righteous, and which is evil? Just because I practice Falun Gong, they unexpectedly rush into private residencies late at night. It is they who violated the law. You do not go to them to complain but hate me, is that right? Do not submit to evil because you are afraid. Humans should live in an upright and honorable way." In such a difficult position, I felt huge pressure. They did not listen no matter what I said. At that time, I often stood in the courtyard and looked up at the sky, quietly calling, "Teacher! Teacher!" Students want nothing of the human world. We only want our Dafa to be rectified in the human world. I felt a new found strength coming over me, which made me feel relaxed. Regardless of how crazy the evil was, how difficult the environment was, I knew there was nothing wrong with practicing Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. This was the most righteous path of human beings and a historical necessity. After all this, my dedication to practicing hadn't weakened. It had only grown stronger.
3. Melting Truth-Clarification Into Daily Life
In order to reduce my family members' pressure, I went to the county to work for a coating company. I was the first one there everyday. I cleaned the place and arranged stock. I changed the disorderly place into tidy and systematic one. My boss and colleagues all said I was a high quality employee. When I was tidying up a shelf one morning, I found a thick envelop with money, probably several thousand yuan. I quietly found the cashier, and asked if he deposited the money the day before. He was surprised. He said he forgot due to another urgent matter. When I took the money to him, he said, "Aunt, when you came, I knew you were a very good person! How can I thank you?"I replied: "Do you know why I am so good? I'll tell you my story at lunch." During our lunch break, he said to everyone, "Stop talking, let aunt tell her story." I said to them, "Everyone says I am good, but do you know why I am good? It is because Falun Dafa changed me." Then I told them why I learned Falun Gong, the benefits I obtained and why the Chinese Communist Party persecutes Falun Gong. I told them about April 25 and the staged "Tiananmen self-immolation incident" and so on. For over an hour, they quietly listened and often nodded. I finally told them, "Tell the truth to your relatives and friends. Whoever knows the truth is fortunate!"
The police looked for me for a period of time, but did not find me and after the 16th Congress Meeting had come and gone, my situation became relatively stable. I felt I should return to my hometown. There were no Dafa practitioners in the village and several thousand people were waiting for the truth! I quit my job and returned to my mother. Not only did I take care of her, but I also bore the family's living expense. Regardless of where I was, I held myself to the standards of a practitioner. I explained the truth to my family whenever I had the chance. Once I went shopping with my elder sister. When I paid for my items, I gave the shop assistant 10 yuan, but she gave me back over 40 yuan in change. I said to her, "I only gave you 10 yuan." My elder sister stepped on my foot. I smiled at her. The shop assistant said, "Thank you so much!" Before I spoke, elder sister dragged me out of the shop. We returned home where she said to the whole family, "The TV says Falun Gong this and that, but we should not believe it. Our sister showed me a lot recently. She does not mind what she's eating and wearing, looks after mother, and bears everything in the family. She saved us lots of energy." She then told what happened in the shop. Although she said I was silly, from then on, family members had a brand-new understanding of Dafa. Some asked me for a talisman. My elder brother also gave some to his two sons-in-law who were drivers, and said, "Dafa indeed works. After my younger sister gave me this, it has been with me. I had no alternative but to believe!"
In order to have more contact with people in the village, I opened a kindergarten with Teacher's hint. We primarily used traditional culture to teach, and worked some children's songs and small stories into the course. We also taught kids to perform small programs to welcome the Children's Day, and every program promoted Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and being good. It had a big impact in the village. There was high praise from parents and villagers, and it built a very good foundation for me to clarify the truth face-to-face.
I used all opportunities to explain the truth and to give out materials and discs in the village. Regardless of the location, whether I knew them or not, regardless of their gender or age, I took the initiative to greet them. Once I bumped into an old man grazing sheep. After I greeted him, I asked, "Do you know about Falun Gong?" He answered: "Yes, I've read all the little pamphlets you sent." "Do you understand?" "Understood! The TV shows are all fake." Listening to his words, I felt my heart moved. I felt happy and sad. I was happy that my fellow villagers could see the truth, but I was sad about how many still could not.
To save more people, my husband and I often delivered truth-clarification materials to every household of the villages in our area. One night, we biked to a small village 10kms away. It had just rained, so every street was muddy. It was impossible to ride through. Even pushing the bike through the muck was hard. I begged Teacher to strengthen us. After we finished, we rode back easily. It was only later that we saw that our two wheels were wrapped with thick mud. It should have been impossible to push it. We were grateful, and knew that it is Teacher doing everything. We simply run about.
In order to let the farmers know "Falun Dafa is good", we put posters and banners on every telephone pole on country roads. Sometimes three to four practitioners worked together. We rode an electric bike at night, put posters on telephone poles and billboards on both sides of the federal highway with fishing poles, so they were high up. The bright red characters on white paper were big and obvious, and drivers and passersby could easily see them. As long as it is seen, it will imprint in the brain, restrain bad thinking and eliminate evil elements. When we do Fa-rectification work, we always send forth righteous thoughts first, eliminate all evil and interference in other dimensions, and ask Teacher for strength. The police could not believe their eyes. They had no idea how we got them so high on those poles. How did we do it?
For several years, we have used all opportunities to tell people with predestined relationship the wonderfulness of Dafa, and passed on the message to quit the CCP. However, we always felt a gap in the standards of Dafa practitioners. This gap urges me to steadfastly learn Dafa, look inside, improve myself, and be a genuine Dafa practitioner.