From an Average Person to a Genuine Dafa Disciple
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners,
When the "Fifth Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China" was about to begin, I felt hesitant about whether or not I should share my experience. After I thought about it several times, I almost gave it up, because I felt there was nothing distinctive about my cultivation practice. A few days ago, I had a dream in which Master gave me a written exam. My task was to write down something about the way I promoted Dafa and about my improvement according to my rational understanding of Dafa. When I woke up, I did not realize that it was Master who had given me a hint to write something for this conference. I thought that Master had warned me because I have not been doing the three things well these days. Not until today during our group Fa study, when a fellow practitioner mentioned an article on Minghui (Chinese version of Clearwisdom) about a practitioner who experienced a similar dream was I roused that Master needed me to hand in an "answer sheet" of my past cultivation. More lately when I sent forth righteous thoughts, I discovered the reason why I felt that my cultivation was too prosaic to talk about. Actually, I had a deeply concealed attachment to proving myself. On the path of my cultivation, I have always felt that Master and the Fa were pushing me along, which proves the greatness of Master and the Fa. Without Master and Dafa, I would have been just someone among the hundreds and thousands, who get lost in chasing personal gains with a selfish heart.
1.An average person began to practice
I began practicing in 1996. During the more than ten years of my cultivation, I have been looked after by Master anytime and anywhere. Basically, I was just the kind of "average person" that Master has talked about. If Master had loosened up on me even a little bit during these years, I might have given up.
I had always been busy making a living since I became an adult, so my mind was filled with thoughts of selfishness and self-protection that I had acquired living an everyday life. At the end of August 1996, my mother convinced me to practice Falun Dafa. But I did not consider Dafa the most precious treasure like most other practitioners did. Part of the reason that I began practicing was because I could not refuse my mother's earnestness. But it did take a long time for me to begin Fa-study after I started practicing. Master saw my reluctance. Instead of giving up on me, Master often encouraged me by showing me Dafa's supernormal powers. It took me more than one month to finish reading Zhuan Falun the first time, but the only thing I got from the book was to simply adapt to society and be a good person.
A few months after I obtained Dafa, I realized my problem. When I read Zhuan Falun, I could not even understand the superficial meaning of the words, not to mention the deeper content embodied in it. I had an uneasy feeling. Wasn't it in vain if I studied the Fa like that? I began to copy it. Copying the Fa sentence by sentence took a lot of time. Many times, Master encouraged me to keep up the work when I almost lost faith to continue. After I finished writing down all of Zhuan Falun, I felt that the mist that had been wrapped around me and stood between me and Dafa had disappeared. And it was also the first time I noticed the relationship between loss and gain, and the transformation of karma mentioned in Zhuan Falun. Master also gave me a hint when I read:
"My fashen in another dimension knows everything on your mind. Because the concepts of the two time-spaces differ, in another dimension the formation of your thoughts is seen as an extremely slow process. It will know everything even before you think of it. Therefore, you should abandon all of your incorrect thoughts." ( Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun, 2000 Translation Version)
But I did not realize that Master was telling me that it was about time to get rid of my attachments.
I was relieved from feeling aggrieved for many years. I understood that losing is really a good thing. If I wanted to practice cultivation, I had to cultivate my mind and eliminate my bad thoughts. There were gods just above men's head; no matter how deep men tried to hide their bad thoughts, gods could see them. Although I have never seen Master in person, I could feel that, at that moment, Master was by my side.
Because I had just begun practicing at that time, I could not control my temper and maintain my xinxing when I had conflicts with my mother. This problem even caused me to think about giving up my cultivation practice. One time and another, my mother worked to convince me not to give it up, but to me, her voice was so irritating that I didn't want to hear anything about cultivation coming from her. Finally she gave up and let me do what I wanted to. A few weeks passed when I ran into a strange situation. Every morning I was wakened by an ear-splitting sound of practice music. I was really angry, but when I got up, I realized that I did not have any excuse to get angry at my mother, because the sound of her practice music was so low that it was almost inaudible. When I tried to take a nap during the daytime, I woke up because she was reading the Fa so loudly. I got up to check it out, but it was the same situation. Facing these facts, I realized that I would never be able to live without Dafa anymore. I started to practice again.
Xinxing tests came nonstop. The new tests did not wait even though I had not passed the old one yet. When another conflict with my mother started, I felt it was too hard for me to pass, so I begged Master in my mind to change my cultivation environment. Maybe Master saw that my xinxing level was too low to pass the test, because in order to not give up on me, he changed my cultivation environment. I got a job abroad and left home. Actually, I did not pass the xinxing test with my mom, I simply ran away from it. That was why I had to go through it again when I met up with my mother again. From then until 1999, the time when the persecution began, I was almost in a state of solitary cultivation. There is not much xinxing conflict when a person cultivates alone, but I had to fight against laziness, loneliness, and pursuit for comfort. During those days, I deeply felt that Master was by my side, urging me to study the Fa and do the exercises. Copying the Fa made me taste the sweetness, and meantime, I knew more clearly that this was a book from heaven, which could bring sentient beings back to their true original home. And I also knew that I would cherish this book my entire life.
When I copied the Fa for the fourth time, I had an idea that I should try to memorize the whole book. Six months later I had memorized Zhuan Falun for the first time. And just at that time, the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began its persecution of Dafa. After July 20,1999, I got in touch with local practitioners. Because there was no persecution where I was, I went out to promote the Fa with local practitioners and to expose the CCP persecution of Falun Gong to the local people.
As I look back, I realize that Master has made a tremendous effort to save me, a disappointing disciple. Master changed the environment when I could not pass the xinxing test, helped me reach local practitioners to insure that I could catch up with others when the Fa-rectification began, and even arranged a lot of diligent practitioners to be close to me. All those arrangements finally transformed me from an average person to a genuine cultivator. When I got in touch with fellow practitioners, their earnestness, honesty, kindness, and steadfast faith in Dafa all affected me so deeply that I was completely moved. Their cultivation was like a mirror. It showed me their selflessness and also exposed my so-called experience and tricky schemes, which I had used to protect myself in everyday life.
I changed and started to get rid of my irresponsible attitude toward those things, which were not going to affect me. I wasn't the person who dealt with personal gain and loss, and I learned how to care about others and put the needs of others ahead of myself in everything. Every night before I went to bed, I reviewed the things that had happened around me during the entire day, in order to see if anything I had done did not reach the standard of the Fa. As I was doing this, my relationships with friends, colleagues, and fellow practitioners got more harmonious. One day when I was studying the Fa, I suddenly discovered the deeper content of Dafa, which was changing right in front of my eyes. I was so happy, and I knew it was Master's encouragement. As long as I persevered, no matter how bad my inborn quality and enlightenment quality were, I could still be assimilated by Dafa. I knew I was on my way home.
2. Cultivation in the Fa-rectification Period
a. Stepping Forward and Being Master's Qualified Disciple
In November 2000, in my heart I wanted to tell the Chinese government the truth about Falun Gong, so I went back to China and petitioned for justice for Falun Gong in Beijing. I was arrested and sentenced to forced labor for three years. After experiencing severe and brutal physical and mental abuse inside the forced labor camp, I was able to get out of the camp and go home with righteous thoughts and Master's benevolent protection in May 2003. Due to the rampant persecution at that time, the major local truth-clarification materials production sites were destroyed one after the another. Practitioners working at the sites were arrested and sentenced, and some were even tortured to death. Two times, fellow practitioners suggested to me that I join the work at the materials production site, but I refused. I used the excuse that my xinxing level had not met the standard yet, but in fact my heart was still shadowed by the torture I had experienced inside the forced labor camp. Fearfulness caused me to not want to touch anything dangerous anymore. Not long after I turned down the suggestion, the practitioner who was producing materials in my area got arrested, too.
Hearing the bad news, I fell into deep self-accusation. It was my selfishness that had harmed fellow practitioners. If I have not been so irresponsible and had shared the burden a little, that practitioner might have had more time to study the Fa, and might have been better prepared to escape the persecution. I realized it was not about "to do or not to do," but about "being or not being" a practitioner. I went to the practitioner in charge of coordination at the site and told him, "I'm in."
Things were not so easy to do. Although I could figure out how to run the copying machine by myself, two years inside the labor camp had taken me away from the outside cultivation environment. I had been left behind and did not know how to keep on the right track steadily and righteously. In the meantime, I was still harboring a question, "Why had almost all practitioners that seemed to have been cultivating pretty well been arrested? What was the reason?" With this question on my mind, I went out of town to visit practitioners in another area, hoping to get some ideas from them. When I got there, I discovered that they were already "making flowers blossom everywhere," which Master had mentioned. I told them what brought me there, and they encouraged me to also "let the flowers blossom everywhere" in my area, because it was safer and did not require a lot of funds. I had never imagined that I would suddenly have to take on such a big responsibility, but I knew it was an opportunity that Master was giving me, and I must take it. With a determined attitude and Master's support, I, a person who had never even touched a computer, learned in one week computer skills that had taken practitioners two years to accumulate and then went home to set up a materials production site. After I got home, I learned that the biggest materials site in our area had been destroyed. As a result, a lot of practitioners could not get materials. After briefly sharing with practitioners, I went to this materials site, a new cultivation environment for me.
Had I not been in this position, I would never have known about the difficulties practitioners who make materials have to deal with. As I stepped into the room, machines were scattered all over the place, and I could feel the unbearable pressure, not to mention the huge workload. A lot of technical obstacles needed to be broken through, plus the interference from other dimensions. What made me feel lucky was those practitioners I got along with and who gave me the most support. They told me that I must kept Master and the Fa in mind when problems arose and that everything was cultivation. I made a rule for myself, "Study the Fa every day before doing other things." I realized that we should give the best time of the day for Fa, as we all see the Fa as the most important thing. The experience of fellow practitioners helped me get through every danger without a scratch. The materials site continued to run smoothly.
In order to insure safety, I almost never left the room. And because a lot of practitioners could not get enough materials, the workload got heavier. For a new hand, I bore a lot of pressure. Sometimes the pressure was almost too much. Now as I look back, I very much appreciated the understanding of the coordinator. When we began running the site, we had an agreement. I would be in charge of making materials, and she would coordinate the delivery, therefore, she would be the only person who was allowed to come to the center. One time there were problems with the machine when she came to get the "Minghui Weekly". I was not able to get it printed, and my xinxing had reached its limit. Had she complained even a little bit, I might have broken down. But in a calm voice, she said, "Don't worry, just take your time." Hearing this, my heart calmed down, and just a moment later the machine started to work again. This kind of thing was quite common in those days, and every time, the problem could be solved because of her understanding and tolerance. Then I realized that if we wanted to become a one body, every practitioner needed to give up self and be tolerant of each other.
b. Developing Family-based Materials Production Sites Everywhere
Gradually, my materials production site became more stable, and my technical skills also became more mature. I began to teach other practitioners to set up family-based materials sites. From that time on, our regional materials sites began to mushroom.
Practitioners in our area are relatively older--most of them in their 50s and 60s, and many of them had had little education. Some could not even write, let alone use a computer. Despite their age, they played a guiding role in our region's Fa-rectification.
As long as you have the will, Master will give you the wisdom and ability.
Teaching and learning are two different things. Learning requires a student to be humble and respectful to the teacher and not be afraid to ask questions. But teaching requires one to have great patience, compassion, and tolerance. Since most practitioners had trouble writing, taking notes on computer operation procedures was pretty hard. Sometimes, teaching them a single operation would consume a lot of time, and their notes were full of mistakes. It was very hard for me to control my temper. But whenever I encountered this, Master would send me a mental message:
"The purpose of giving her energy was to enable her to practice cultivation and upgrade herself. While doing good deeds, she could develop her own supernormal abilities and build up her own gong; however, some people did not know this principle. Didn't I mention that no one could teach this person the Fa? If the person could understand it, she would get it. It is an issue of enlightening. If the person could not understand it, nothing could be done." ( Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun, 2000 Translation Version)
I understood that Master was telling me to maintain my xinxing and increase my capacity. After a while I came up with a better idea. I wrote and printed all the operating steps on one file and passed a copy to everyone who was learning. All they had to do was to follow the steps. This method proved to be effective and efficient.
When I was learning from others how to use a computer, practitioners taught me everything they knew without reservation. I also had to overcome many difficulties. That is why I sincerely hoped other practitioners would have a smoother ride. When I taught computer skills, I always reminded them to pay special attention to the importance of cultivation. Over the past several years, I have noticed that those who have emphasized cultivation usually have had a better environment in their materials production sites, and those who only emphasized techniques found their road bumpier.
While working with different practitioners, I always tried to cultivate my own state of mind. Sometimes I failed to maintain my xinxing during conflict. Once I instructed a practitioner who had taken Internet lessons with me from another practitioner who later stopped instructing us. Now she had to learn from me. While working together I became aware of her strong resentment toward me. She thought I was also new and did not have much to teach her. Gradually I felt that her major obstacle was her lack of effort in studying the Fa. In addition, during sending righteous thoughts her right hand dropped very low. Once her hand even dropped to her leg, but she did not even know it. After a lot of instruction she still could not work independently. When she got stuck, she always blamed me for not teaching her well enough. Sometimes, I opened her own notes told her, "See, it's here!" I suggested that she read more, but she did not take my advice to heart. Our relationship got worse, and she had less trust in me. One day, after I had helped her to purchase a notebook computer, she openly expressed her dissatisfaction. Another time I bought replacement ink powder for her. She complained it might be counterfeit. On several occasions I almost never wanted to see her again. But I persevered.
One day our local coordinator hurried to see me, saying, "Please go to her house. Her notebook computer was burned." I was shocked! How could a new computer be burned? We rushed to her house immediately, but her computer was OK. Only her CD drive was a bit noisy, and she thought the computer was burned. I was so upset I lost control. All of the unpleasant experiences between us came to my mind. Although Master's principle also came to me over and over, telling me to improve my xinxing, I still lost it. I dumped all my feelings of resentment on her without much thought and told her to stop making Dafa materials for the time being.
No sooner had I stopped talking than I realized I was wrong. She was dumbfounded and could say nothing. I felt awful. After I left her home, I suddenly recalled Master's words:
"This is because amidst everyday people, different ordinary human attachments could interfere with her. When she cured a patient's illness, the patient might not appreciate it. When she treated the patient, she might have removed a lot of bad things from this patient's body. Although she healed this patient to such an extent, there might not have been any obvious changes at that time. The patient, however, would not be happy in his mind. Instead of expressing gratitude, he might accuse her of cheating. With these problems, she was undergoing psychological tribulations in this environment. The purpose of giving her energy was to enable her to practice cultivation and upgrade herself. While doing good deeds, she could develop her own supernormal abilities and build up her own gong; however, some people did not know this principle." (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
After some deep soul searching I discovered a problem, I wanted to protect my ego and was unwilling to hear criticism. The bottom line was an attachment to personal pride. I had had this problem since childhood--even my parents were not supposed to criticize me. In my adult life, if someone gave me a hard time, I would resent the person for a long time. Even after becoming a practitioner, I still could not relinquish this attachment. Master saw my mindset and arranged this conflict. On the surface the practitioner was nitpicking on me, but in reality, it was Master who utilized the incident to expose my attachment. I had not only failed to realize that and improve on it, but also accused the practitioner of causing the "trouble." I felt very sorry. I also told myself to correct this and get rid of this fault. For a period of time following that incident, similar things happened several times. During our group study and experience sharing, I kept hearing the same message, "expand our capacity and become more tolerant." I knew Master was telling me to increase my capacity and have more compassion.
c. Picking up the Pen; Exposing the Evil in Our Local Area
With more family-based materials production sites in operation, more people shared my workload. Having more time at hand, sometimes I did not know how to use my time. After spending more time on Fa study I began to think, "Should I take back some of the printing work or just relax like this?" I concluded that I should let the newly involved practitioners do their share of printing.
Now that Master had given me some wisdom and capabilities I should look for new projects. At that time Master published a comment in a Minghui article, "Expose the Evil Happening Locally to the Local People." Master encouraged us to expose the evildoers in our area. I realized that almost no one in our area edited work to publish information about the persecution. The regime's crimes were mostly covered up; that was the reason the evildoers were so rampant. I realized that I should do more in this regard to make a breakthrough.
Following brief editorial training with a knowledgeable practitioner, I began work on compiling a document. Unfamiliar with all the symbols on the keyboard I tried each symbol and wrote down its function. Eventually, I had a complete record of the keyboard functions. When I began to compile my first truth-clarifying pamphlet Master opened my wisdom, all the content of my work appeared in my brain. I could see the table of contents, the references--even the photos were clearly imprinted in my head. All I had to do was move the booklet from my brain to the computer. My first pamphlet was soon completed. It barely required much of my effort. I knew it was not I who did the work. It was Master doing it for me. Of course I was determined and once again experienced the principle of "cultivation is up to you; gong is up to the Master." Master was encouraging me to advance in this direction.
After the first truth-clarifying booklet was published on Minghui I was excited. This booklet marked the beginning of exposing the evil persecution in our area. Later on I found that the Minghui editors had modified almost half of the content. I felt a sense of disappointment but immediately realized that I should look inside myself. Gradually I cooled down and realized that the Minghui editors really provided lots of good input. I saw their unselfish aims. They focused on the effect of saving sentient beings salvation; their starting point was to be responsible to people--they were not trying to save face for certain individuals or small groups.
The process of publishing articles on Minghui made me realize that I should select my stories based on their effect of saving people, not on personal preference. Every time I finished editing I always did a role-play, putting myself into the shoes of regular people that are confused by the ruling regime. I wanted to see if they could accept the content. Having adjusted my understanding, the quality of my work improved tremendously, and the editorial corrections were quickly reduced. Sometimes I even see the whole pamphlet published without modification. The process allowed me a deeper understanding of cultivation for everything we do. Sometimes I slacked off on quality checks and discovered multiple errors once the articles were published. If I was rushing to beat a deadline, I would see major modifications in my articles. If I was too nervous, the quality also suffered. After several years of this kind of work I have gradually become mature. I understand that I have to keep a rational and attentive attitude to produce the best work.
With more truth-clarifying articles published and distributed in our area, the impact in deterring the persecution was huge. The evildoers became much more frightened and acted more reserved when they persecuted Dafa practitioners; some even begged practitioners to remove their names from Minghui's bad-person list. After they realized this, even non practitioners began to protect Falun Gong practitioners. Now I have come to understand the following: If all Dafa practitioners could take action and do the right things following Master's teaching, the persecution would have ended long ago.
d. Attaining Naturally Without Pursuit
In my cultivation I have met so many practitioners who are unselfish, sincere, and full of peace. So, in my mind, this demeanor is the natural state for a cultivator. Once I learned some techniques, I never felt possessive about them, as if this knowledge was my personal property. I know when Master allows me to learn a skill it is also a kind of gong and is meant to validate the Fa. I can only teach it to other practitioners without reservation--I could never keep it to myself for personal gain. So I always teach others all I know. Sometimes I would modify the technique to make it easier for others to learn. After I transfer my knowledge to others, I don't experience the usual phenomenon of "now they have learned my skills, and I am out of job." Quite the contrary, I found Master would instill in me additional wisdom once I shared my skills with others. For instance, after I taught others how to print and connect to the Internet, Master gave me the wisdom to learn how to install computer operating systems. Once I trained others to do that, Master had me start doing editing work. Although each incident seemed natural and coincidental--I met someone, pushed a button, read an instruction--it was Master that had arranged all these seemingly casual events. All I had was nothing but a simple willingness to learn.
Master has taught us this principle in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles" (2006):
"So in other words, whichever field you might be in, when you are able to improve your skills, that is a reflection of your having continually risen in realm. And people can see that you are a good person and someone who cultivates his or her heart and mind. From the vantage point of human beings, you are becoming a good person. As a result of studying the Fa and cultivating your inner self, you do better and better, and gods give you the wisdom you deserve and give you inspiration so that you can come to realize a lot of things while you study, create better things, improve your technique, and reach beyond."
3. Break Down the Barriers to Become One-body
It all started around the time when I began producing truth-clarification materials. Because there were many cases of practitioners getting arrested, severely persecuted, compromised, and betrayed, communication was kept to a bare minimum in order to maintain security. Practitioners were separated by invisible barriers. At that time, my computer skills weren't good. When I had technical difficulties, I could not find anyone to help. I felt lonely. When I heard that one materials production site in my area has been running smoothly for years, I was very eager to get in touch with them. I thought that they must have very advanced computer skills and have very diligent young practitioners helping them. Looking externally, I was under the assumption that all my problems would be solved as long as I could get in touch with these practitioners.
One day when I was at home trying to improve my computer skills, the coordinator brought a practitioner in her 50s to see me. The coordinator told me that she was the one in charge of the materials site that I wanted to contact. I was so excited, I thought that it must be Master's arrangement for me to meet with her. After a bit of sharing with her, I was surprised because it was not like what I had imagined. All the practitioners working at that site were elderly ladies--not a single young practitioner was present. The practitioner I conversed with was the youngest one and she was more than 50 years old. All the others were between 60 and 70. They were not privy to the most recent teachings of Master's Fa but had cultivated themselves steadfastly believing in Master and Dafa. They have been doing the three things as well as those young practitioners. During our sharing, I learned that she was not only a coordinator, but also the tech support in her team. She was in charge of fixing the technical problems but I discovered that they did not posses the advanced skills that I had presumed they did. They did not even know how to print the books in saddle stitch and their skills were kind of primitive. My heart was quivering. How benevolent Master has treated even an average person like me! Almost all the practitioners I met were wise, the path of my cultivation had such few tribulations, and everything seemed to come easy to me on the way of validating Dafa. If I don't do well in cultivation practice, how can I face up to Master for what he has done for me?
Being aware of their situation, I taught her everything I knew and I also made some adjustments for them. For example, because it was not easy for them to re-install the operating system, I made a backup for them. Then all they had to do was to restore the system from the backup.
Since then, we have stayed in touch with each other, but it was not easy to completely break through the barriers and work as one body. In order to achieve that, we had to endure some confrontations with human notions and get rid of the attachment to self.
Not longer after we were introduced, they encountered some problems. When we sat down to discuss the problem, I gave them my advice without taking their feelings into considerations. My advice was: "When we get into trouble, we should not be eager to make materials; we should study the Fa more and look within before we continue." The elderly practitioners lost their temper immediately after hearing my suggestion. They jumped up and found fault with me in a fiery speech. I felt that I was wronged and could not figure out why they were treating me this way as I had only wanted to do something good for them. And then I remembered what Master said:
"I often say that if all a person wants is the well-being of others and if this is without the slightest personal motivation or personal understanding, what he says will move the listener to tears. I have not only taught you Dafa, but have also left you my demeanor. While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person's heart, whereas commands never could!" ("Clearheadedness," Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that I must have not have spoken kindly enough if they were uncomfortable with what I had said. I sincerely apologized to them.
The 70-year-old practitioner was also a frank and open person. After I apologized, she told me her thoughts. They had thought that I no longer wanted them to make materials. So once again I explained to them my suggestions. This time they all felt my sincerity, and they all agreed with me. The elderly practitioner again said, "I am sorry. I did not think you were capable or would dare to give us orders since we are your peers." The tension was reduced and the atmosphere became peaceful. Later on one of them told me that she was really worried at that time. She was afraid that the situation would escalate and it would turn into a big quarrel. It was just like what Master said:
"If whenever something happens you instantly jump into who's right, whose problem it is, and how you have done, then while on the surface it looks like you are resolving the conflict or tension, in reality that's not the case at all. On the surface it looks plenty rational, but in reality that's not rational at all. You haven't taken a step back and fully cast off your attachment, and then thought the issue over. Only after a person calmly and peacefully withdraws from a conflict and then looks at it can he truly resolve it." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital," 2006)
After we got through a few conflicts, the barrier was finally broken down, and our hearts united as one.
Being able to unite as one played a very important role in the validation of Dafa in our area. The delivery of information regarding the persecution was promptly expedited, and fellow practitioners coordinated very successfully to rescue more practitioners. When we are able to extinguish the evil's arrogant interference, fellow practitioners' confidence was enhanced and more sentient beings were saved.
4.Fa-study Insures That Everything Is Done Well
I always see Fa-study as the most important thing in my cultivation practice. With every step that I took, I would not have been able to proceed further without Fa-study. No matter how busy I was, I would diligently keep up my Fa-study.
At the beginning of 2005, I was disturbed by interference from other dimensions. If someone said something to me, that thing manifested in my vision and played as a film in my head. For instance, a fellow practitioner had a gangster brother who was sentenced to death. I wasn't really paying attention when she talked about it, but when I got home, the scene started playing in my mind. Another time a practitioner told me that her relative received a large amount of money. After that, the same scenario started playing in my mind. I was so exhausted and my brain would not stop to rest. I looked within and felt that it was the attachment to the pursuit of profit stirring in my heart. I thought I had found the reason, and then felt something fall out of my body. But after only one day of peace, the same interference came back again. I sought help from fellow practitioners, but the interference remained. I was very distressed. Feeling helpless, I decided to forget about it and concentrate on Fa-study. When I opened the book it was right on the section about thought karma. My heart quivered and I suddenly realized the interference that I could not get rid of was just thought karma.
When I found the cause, I started to concentrate on studying the Fa and later on I decided to memorize the Fa. I memorized the Fa only one time. Each time I tried to memorize it again, I stopped at the second or the third lecture, because I felt it was too slow to do the memorization, and reading was much faster. But this time I worked on memorizing in addition to reading. I recited the part I could remember and read the part that I could not.
On the first and second attempt at memorizing, there was always a voice whispering in my ears, "It is too slow, you'd better just read." This time I clearly discerned that the voice was thought karma, as the thought karma didn't want me to memorize the Fa. In other words, Fa memorizing is the best way to eliminate thought karma. My confidence drastically increased as I found the fatal defect of thought karma. I was able to go through the entire Zhuan Falun in two days. When I went though Fa-memorizing more than ten times, I found that the situation changed. The thought karma vanished into the void, and my body and my brain have never felt so relaxed and peaceful.
Since then, memorizing the Fa has become a daily routine. As the parts of Zhuan Falun that I could memorize increased, I started trying to study the Fa without the book. The best opportunity to practice Fa study without the book was reciting the Fa during group study. That would enable the correction of the mistakes and strengthen memorization. Now during group Fa study, I can keep up with everyone without looking in the book. Memorizing the Fa gave me numerous benefits. Back then the evil party's songs came out of my mouth automatically, but now those songs were replaced by the Fa. If I look within carefully, I can always find my own shortcomings. Although Master said there is no shortcut on the path of cultivation practice, I sensed that memorizing the Fa was my shortcut. No matter what happened, the Fa would appear in my head, and I would know what to do. Just like what Master said:
"You know, I've told you a principle before, everything a person sees is infused into his brain. When he is infused with a lot of good things, he will be a good person. And if he is infused with a lot of bad things, he will be a bad person. When a Dafa disciple continually reads the books of Dafa, he is a being of upright Fa, and when he cultivates into a god he will be a King of Law" ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference," 2005)
5. Harmonize What Master Wants
Recently, I felt I was at a standstill on the path of my cultivation. I did not feel the accelerated speed of upgrading of my xinxing like before. The feeling I had was like I knew I had the ability to do things but I did not know what to do. One day I watched a video of Master teaching the Fa to the Australian practitioners. In the video Master mentioned that he always admired those practitioners who worked on the front lines, telling everyday people what Falun Dafa really was. I was reminded by Master's word. I knew what caused me to stagnate in my cultivation. Master has always been helping me, giving me wisdom to enlighten and the chance to improve my computer skill as my xinxing elevated. To me, my performance in the areas of my skills has become a regular standard to measure my cultivation, but I did not think about the needs of Master's Fa-rectification process. Just like what Master said in "A Dialogue with Time", "And the most outstanding evidence of that is that they always compare themselves with humans and with their own past, but fail to examine themselves with the requirements of the Fa at different levels." (Essentials for Further Advancement)
Maybe I could still consider teaching, assisting, and printing materials as working at the front lines in the beginning of my cultivation path because at that time we did not have many active practitioners. But as the truth clarification materials production sites are increasing and more practitioners step forward doing Dafa things, it is not right for me to still hold to the old mindset. Time is running out for saving sentient beings, and the front lines that Master talked about is just the area where help is needed the most. In the meantime, I saw my attachment of pursuit. I was so greedy that I always wanted Master to give me more.
When I realized where I was wrong, I changed my attitude towards Dafa work. I began to spend more time on saving sentient beings, distributing informational materials, and revealing the truth to people face to face. As I rectified my viewpoint, my mind became more opened and spacious. Comparing myself with those diligent practitioners who clarify the truth and disclose the persecution to the public, I still have a long way to go. Seeing those sentient beings that are waiting for salvation, I will hold fast my faith and believe that I will become better and not let them down.