Sharing on My Cultivation and Improvement
(Clearwisdom.net) Cultivation is serious. Master has given us such a good cultivation environment: the opportunity to cultivate while amidst everyday society. It is the most convenient and yet the most difficult way. In our daily lives, at our jobs, we can cultivate anytime, anywhere. Master said, "Each and every barrier must be broken through; And everywhere does evil lurk." ("Tempering the Will," Hong Yin) We must treat ourselves as cultivators at every moment, pass each test well, and improve our "xinxing."
My understanding is that if we can pass each test well, we can cultivate a heart of great forbearance. But it's easier said than done. When my xinxing is bad, although I know I am a practitioner when I am studying the Fa, as soon as I come into contact with society, I forget to behave as a practitioner. When I remember I am a practitioner, I can treat everything with a calm heart and not be moved. When I forget, though, my heart is often moved. I get angry and competitive; it's really uncomfortable. Cultivation is hard because we have to always remain diligent in our cultivation. The difficulty lies in the cultivation of our hearts. Genuine cultivation requires completely immersing ourselves in the Fa. In our daily lives, we must maintain a compassionate and peaceful mind. Only then can we handle everything with kindness.
For example, I have a coworker who is always trying to cozy up to the boss. He does very little work, but anything he does he will advertise it in front of the boss. When the boss asks for something, he is very quick to do it. When others need something, he just ignores them. I didn't like his style and didn't talk to him. After I became a practitioner, I changed my mind about him. There are all kinds of people in the world. I am a cultivator so I should treat everyone with compassion. I should be able to tolerate all kinds of difficulties. This is nothing extraordinary. Therefore I cooperated with him at work and did not mind his ways. All the uneasy feelings disappeared. We no longer had any barriers between us, and our relationship improved.
Once on my way to work, a motorcycle hit my bike and I fell off. The motorcycle driver was concerned. At first I was irritated, but then I remembered that I was a cultivator and I should be understanding that he was in a hurry to get to work. Since I was already pretty close to my job, I said, "It's OK, you can go." Actually, the front wheel of my bike was torn and could no longer turn. Even the bike repair person couldn't fix it. But I didn't regret my decision, since I passed another test. My only regret was that I did not have the courage to tell him that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner. Looking back, I let Master down and missed an opportunity to validate the Fa.
Of course I also failed some tests. Sometimes I have arguments with my spouse. We both are cultivators, so in theory it should be easier. But instead, we often criticize each other's cultivation and become angry. Is this treating ourselves as practitioners? No. As cultivators, we need to search inward.
Some practitioners' sharing articles point out that truth clarification is part of the process of cultivating ourselves. I haven't done too well in this regard. For example, my family members are against my cultivation practice. Some even said that I was looking for trouble by acting against the Chinese Communist Party. They don't understand the facts and are unwilling to learn. It's not that they believe in the CCP--they are afraid of it. I tried to clarify the facts but to no avail. They don't approve of my work to clarify the facts, and are staying away from me for fear that I will implicate them. I feel very conflicted. On the one hand, I know they are also sentient beings that need to be saved. On the other hand, they don't allow me to say anything in front of them. I now realize that I still have a strong attachment to fear. I am afraid that others will resent me if they think the fact that I am a practitioner could have a negative impact on them. All of these notions are attachments. Cultivation is the most righteous path, and cultivators are also the most dignified. If we are righteous, we can suppress all evil. How can I, a cultivator, be controlled by others? From now on I will cultivate myself diligently and use well the remaining time to break through their prejudice against Falun Dafa.