Believing in Teacher and Dafa on My Cultivation Path
(Clearwisdom.net) As the deadline for article submissions to the Fifth Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China quickly approached, I was determined to catch up. Because I felt my knowledge level was low and could not write well, I missed the previous Internet experience sharing conferences. This time I thought, "I am a Falun Dafa practitioner and capable of anything. I can surely succeed if I truly make an effort." So I picked up my pen and wrote to Teacher and to my fellow practitioners about my journey in validating Dafa.
Fortunate to Learn Falun Dafa
I am a 52-year-old nurse with over 30 years of experience. When I was a teenager, I had biliary ascariasis that eventually led to cholecystitus and gallstones. That illness developed and spread to the bile duct and hepatic ducts. My liver was almost entirely filled with gallstones. When it relapsed later, the pain lasted two hours and one Meperidine (Demerol) had no effect. I had very painful shocks several times and the only reason I survived was because I got emergency treatment. I had surgery in 1986, and a dish of stones, five to six of them as large as my thumb, was removed. I almost lost my life that time. This cured my illness, but I was left with sequela, peritoneal adhesions, and pelvic abscesses. If I moved even slightly in my daily life or when eating, then I would experience extreme pain. At this time, one day felt as long as a year.
On January 21, 1997, I learned about Falun Dafa. It was an unforgettable day. That afternoon after I got home, my neighbor's daughter-in-law saw me and said, "Where have you been? You look so tired and pale and you can barely speak."
I replied, "I was told that the senior disciple of a qigong school will be around to teach tomorrow, so I went to register at the People's Hotel this afternoon. But I did not find the registration desk even after I went upstairs and downstairs several times." She said, "You should practice Falun Gong!" I asked, "What is that?" She answered, "It is a practice that enables you to be a good person according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance." I said, "Oh, I have a bad temper. I guess I should go and try to become a good person."
I went to the practice site with her that evening. At 6 p.m., everyone began practicing the exercises as soon as the music started, and I tried to follow along. As I was doing the second exercise, I suddenly saw darkness, as if I were going to faint. Great drops of sweat accumulated on my face, and my whole body was sweating. I did not understand what was happening at that time. I thought to myself, "Teacher, others say this practice is good, so I came to learn. Teacher, no matter what, give me the strength so I can hold on for a few more minutes."
After a while, the feeling passed, but then it was followed by a stomachache, as if my intestines were going to be pulled out, and I felt like I needed to use the restroom immediately. I knew that I must hold on for several more minutes.
After I finished the exercises, the stomachache stopped and I no longer wanted to use the restroom. I described my symptoms to other practitioners. They said, "Look how good your inborn quality is! Teacher purified your body right away. Why didn't you call out to Teacher!" I said, "I don't know who the Teacher is." They said, "Why didn't you recite: 'When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible'?" I answered, "I didn't know to do that!" Then the assistant gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun and repeatedly urged me to read it. The assistant said, "This is a heavenly book and you must treasure it well. Wash your hands before reading it." I took the books with both hands and put it in the cleanest and safest place in my home. Since that moment, I have never again had any sickness symptoms.
Creating a Cultivation Environment
I got up at 4 o'clock every morning to practice the sitting meditation. My husband was not happy to see me practicing. He said, "I feel uncomfortable when I hear that music." He tried to stop me as soon as I did the exercises, just like in Zhuan Falun,
"As soon as you begin the exercises, your spouse will throw a fit at you."
Since I was just beginning to practice, I did not understand the concept of looking inward and only knew that I had to be tolerant and could not fight him, but I felt uneasy. Later, he even refused to let me go to the practice site in the evenings and locked the door, so I ran out the back door. I did this every day. I felt that it was not right because I was not wrong in following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in order to be a good person. I thought to myself, "My temper has improved, so if you beat me and curse me, I can endure it, but I cannot let you stop my practice."
One day I cooked dinner, set the table, and when the kids came home from school, I let them eat and I then went to sleep. My husband came to ask me to eat and I said, "No! I am on a hunger strike from now on!" He said, "Hunger strike?" I replied, "You will not let me practice and I'd rather die from hunger than to die from my illness later."
He left my room. When it was nearly 6 p.m., he saw that I had not gotten up and was a bit worried and came again and said, "It is 6 o'clock. Aren't you going to practice?" I still did not get up and he said gently, "Get up! I won't complain again." He pulled me up and I went to practice. He no longer kept me from practicing.
He let me practice the exercises, but as soon as I started reading the book, he snatched it away from me, so I snatched it back from him. I had no other alternative but hide the books. Once he threw Teacher's photo on the ground. I was really upset and used all my strength to get it back. After a while he was exhausted and said, "You are quite strong!" Then he went to sleep.
One morning, I was going to study the Fa after the exercises but could not find Zhuan Falun and Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa. I immediately went to check the stove and found that the Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa book was already burnt and the plastic cover of Zhuan Falun was roasted and the inside pages had turned yellow but were not completely destroyed. I learned later that he had thrown the books on the stove the night before.
I was very sad. I just sat there and sobbed, which woke him up. He just wanted to scold me, so I was really upset and even thought of divorce. Then I thought, "Practitioners can't divorce because it will discredit Dafa!" I thought to myself that I could not allow such things to keep happening. I had to frighten him. I put all my Dafa books in front of him and said very seriously, "From now on I won't hide these books, but if I find one missing, then it is the end of our life together!" Since then, he has never touched my books.
I am an ordinary worker and my husband is a farmer. Originally, I really despised him. I was short-tempered and often fought with my mother-in-law. Through practicing Falun Dafa, I completely changed and my temper became good. I was very kind to my husband and my parents-in-law. Before, I had never had a relationship with any of his relatives. Now I communicate with them on my own initiative. My husband, his family, and his relatives saw how I changed for the better, so they all approved of Dafa and quit the Communist Party. His family lives in a mountainous area. During festivals, I take several hundred Dafa fliers to them when I visit, and his relatives help me distribute them. My husband especially has experienced greater changes. He has not had lower back pain now for several years. He often helps me to do Dafa work, warmly welcomes practitioners to our home, and cooks meals for them. With Teacher's help, over the past several years, I finally created a cultivation environment.
After the persecution began, the collective practice environment left to us by Teacher was destroyed by the CCP. However, Fa study at my home has never stopped. There are four or five people regularly and sometimes even seven or eight. In 2004, I enlightened that group Fa study and the exercises were a cultivation environment left by Teacher. However, the old forces destroyed it by not letting us study the Fa and practice the exercises together, so I should set up a Fa study group to deny the old forces' arrangements. In order to improve as one body, we must first have a group Fa study environment. I thought that, although I was not a coordinator, I was not afraid and let everyone come to my home to study. In the beginning there were over ten people and then over 20. The energy field was great and everyone experienced rapid improvement. I helped anyone that had difficulties or problems.
Due to the lack of a group Fa study environment, two village practitioners did not keep up with the Fa-rectification process. They both had physical symptoms and one could not take care of herself, could not get up, and could not even get up to use the restroom. Another practitioner's abdomen was so swollen that looked it like she was eight months pregnant, but her belly was as hard as stone. Her ankles had two big lumps the size of softballs, and she suffered from extreme pain. After I heard about their situations, I took them into my home. Because they were unable to bathe for a long time, they really smelled, and some practitioners were unwilling to get close to them during Fa study. However, I could smell nothing. We studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts with them, as well as helped them look inward. On the second day, the practitioner that could not take care of herself could get up and the two big lumps on the other practitioner's ankles disappeared that night. They both excitedly hugged me and cried, "Thank you, fellow practitioners, and thank you, Teacher." Both of them recovered in a week and returned home. They both had to be carried to my but were able to walk to their own homes. Their families were touched. This was also a magnificent display of the tremendous power of group Fa study.
More and more practitioners came to my home for Fa study. For safety considerations, we divided into several smaller study groups. Other practitioners also formed study groups, so now there are Fa study groups everywhere in our area.
Clarifying the Truth and Saving Sentient Beings
On July 20, 1999, the CCP started its irrational persecution of Falun Gong. At that time, I had just moved to the city from my village for a short period and had lost the environment for group practice and my contact with other practitioners. When I turned on the TV every day, there were lies that slandered Dafa. I worried, didn't know what to do, and had to turn off the TV. If someone mentioned Falun Gong, I told them about Dafa's wonderfulness and my own benefits. I did not know that practitioners were going to local governments and Beijing to validate Dafa, as I had not been practicing for long and I did not enlighten to it. When I went out to go to work, I saw banners on the walls and on trees in red characters on yellow paper saying, "Falun Dafa Is Good," "Falun Dafa Is a Righteous Law," and "Restore Justice for my Teacher." I was astounded and wanted to cry when I saw these things. I admired these practitioners from bottom of my heart. I thought that, although I did not go to Beijing, I could still validate Dafa at home.
So I purchased colored paper and pens. I could not write well, so I practiced repeatedly writing "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance." It took me over an hour. Eventually I could write these characters neatly. I also made templates to make banners and bought colored paper to make a Falun. Our five to six practitioners wrote and made things in the daytime and went out to put up banners at night. I posted things on the relatively bright streets late at night.
Besides clarifying the truth in the city, we also went to remote mountain areas to hand out materials. In autumn 2002, three practitioners and I went to far away mountain areas to hand out materials. After 10 p.m., it was so dark that we could not even see our fingers in front of our faces. Another female practitioner and I were distributing materials on a street. I was in front when I heard someone shouting behind me. The other practitioner had been caught by an elderly man, so I stopped and stood there to send forth righteous thoughts. The man called louder and louder. I could not leave that practitioner alone, so I went over and explained the truth to him while sending forth righteous thoughts.
I said, "Sir, we came from over 100 miles away to deliver good things to you. We have obtained personal benefits from the practice, so we came to tell you the truth. Look, a female graduate student was persecuted by the police, which is described in the pamphlet. So many Dafa practitioners who want to be good people are taken to prisons and forced labor camps. Sometimes they are tortured to death. The 'self-immolation' on TV was staged and now Falun Dafa has spread around the world." As I was talking, his son came out and listened and said nothing. They gradually understood and the elderly man's voice became lower and lower, and finally he said, "Go ahead and distribute your brochures. Walk down this street." We said, "Thank you!" So we handed out all our remaining materials and we knew merciful Teacher strengthened us.
I explained the truth to my colleagues and cadres and they all understood. I then talked to every patient. There was a patient who did not know the truth and mentioned some things to a cadre where I worked. The cadre feared he would be implicated and angrily said to me, "I will not allow you to mention Falun Gong to patients from now on. If you do not listen, I'll dismiss you." Then he told me to write a guarantee statement. He then called the head nurse in to watch me. The head nurse went to the ward to give injections and I followed. I thought it was a good opportunity to clarify the truth. Patients asked me, "Why aren't you working today?" I replied, "Today the director gave me special reprimand." When the patient asked why, I said, "Because I speak the truth about Falun Gong." Then I kept explaining the truth. After a while, the director asked a secretary to talk to me. I said, "All my diseases disappeared when I began practicing. You two both knew about it. I strive to be a good person according to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. What's wrong with that?" The director said, "You practice Falun Gong and are a good person. We do not practice Falun Gong, so then we are not good people?" I answered, "Director, you are also a good person, but there are different standards of good people." The director said, "Fine, your level is high. I can't persuade you, just send me the guarantee statement in the afternoon." I answered, "Director, I am not in the mood to write today. Please give me two days." Two days later, I went to his office with a ten-page letter. I said, "Sir, are you still angry? I am not bringing you the guarantee statement today, but a long letter." He said, "I have no need for a long letter, a short one is fine!"He continued to say, "I think you regard Falun Gong as more important than your life, right?" I replied, "Yes, you are so correct." I then told him the real situation regarding the so-called "self-immolation." He said, "Go, go, go to work." Afterwards he said nothing, and colleagues also said good words for me, and I got paid as usual that month.
In 2005, I attended a large scale experience sharing conference in another city. Practitioners there talked about how they cooperated to rescue fellow practitioners and I was greatly inspired. After I came back, I cooperated with local practitioners to ask for the return of 5,000 yuan which the police had illegally taken from my cousin. We understood that our purpose was not for money but to save the police. We notified practitioners to cooperate and send forth righteous thoughts. On the second day, we both went to the police sub-bureau and said that we wanted to talk to the director. We talked to all the staff, starting from the ground floor to the fourth floor, and then returned to first floor to see the deputy director. The deputy director asked, "Why do you want the director?" I replied, "My cousin was fined 5000 yuan for practicing Falun Gong. She urgently needs the money to send to her child to university. Her husband died early and she also lost her job. She has no savings. How can she and her daughter survive otherwise? We came to see the director and ask for the money back. My sister used have many diseases and recovered through practicing Falun Gong."
The deputy director said, "I think you look like Falun Gong, too." I smiled, "Do I? Do Falun Gong practitioners have labels on their foreheads!" He asked for my name and I said, "I won't tell you!" We then went to the ground floor and explained the truth to the police at the message center and then the director came back. We explained our purpose for visiting and the director asked, "Do you have a receipt?" I said, "Yes, but we did not bring it!" When my cousin went back to get the receipt, I explained the truth to the director. When we got the receipt, the director looked at it and said, "This matter was not handled by me. I must report it to higher authority. Come back the day after tomorrow!"
Two days later, we went to the police sub-bureau again. The director was not there, so we went to the accountant's office and clarified the truth to him, "If other Dafa practitioners come to ask for their money back, be kind so that you will accumulate merit." The accountant said, "Don't worry, I won't be harsh to them." By this time the director had returned. He said nothing, just signed a paper and took us to the accountant. The accountant took us to get the money from the bank. Then we returned to the director's office. He was alone and we gave him truth-clarification materials and a Falun Dafa Association's public notice. He looked at them and put them into his drawer and kept saying, "Thank you! I often read the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom) and I was exposed for my wrongdoing on the site. Please pray for my brothers and family members!"
In autumn 2005, five practitioners that went to distribute materials in a village were reported. Two of them were arrested. After 1 a.m., those practitioners asked me to rescue them, so we took a taxi to the scene and asked about them at the police station. We were told that they had been taken to a city detention center. We then had to walk about 45 miles back. Some practitioners complained that we had come in vain and should not have come. I said to them, "We did not come in vain. We are not fighting with human beings on the surface, but we are frightening the evil in other dimensions in order to clarify the truth and save people." Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. Fa Conference" that
"The next person's things are your things, and your things are his things."
After we heard the news, we went that same night. This was also to frighten the evil! On the following day, we notified everyone to collectively to send forth righteous thoughts and then took their family members to the police station. We clarified the truth to the manager. The manager understood the truth and told us to wait for the news and pick them up at 8 a.m. the next day. However, when we went on the second day, he changed his mind and said the village secretary told him that everyone had to pay 10,000 yuan to be released. The family members were upset. In the evening, we studied the Fa, shared, and enlightened that we should not pay the money because this was helping a tyrant do evil. We decided to talk to the village secretary the next day and telll him that we couldn't give him money, otherwise he would be more enthusiastic in arresting practitioners. We found the secretary and explained the truth to him. He was very vicious in the beginning, but he slowly calmed down. Finally he said he would not interfere and told us to see the police station manager. Next, the two practitioners had disease symptoms, and the detention center rang to get them picked up. Altogether, within four days, their families did not spend one cent and we together had rescued the practitioners.
For several years under Teacher's strengthening, although we have done some work to validate the Fa, we are still far from the standards of Fa-rectification. I have seen that I still have many strong attachments, such as to arguing, jealousy, hatred, validating oneself, and so on. Teacher, please rest assured, because I certainly have determination to remove these bad attachments and be a qualified Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple.