Striving to Be a Genuine Dafa Practitioner
Greetings, Teacher and fellow practitioners:
I am an older woman from the countryside. I learned Dafa in 1998. Just a few days after I learned Dafa, my illnesses disappeared and I greatly enjoyed the pleasures of having a healthy body.
Before 2007, we relied on a practitioner from out-of-town to deliver Dafa informational materials to our area. Later, the evil destroyed the materials production center and arrested the practitioner. Another practitioner replaced him and delivered the materials to us from another city, but with some irregularity. When the materials sometimes failed to arrive, I became extremely anxious. Being responsible for re-distributing the materials, I often wished I could make the materials myself.
Soon, with Teacher's help, the practitioner who worked at the materials production center was released. Also being technically savvy, he asked local practitioners if I could make the materials. Without thinking, I said, "Funding is not a problem. The issue is not whether I will do it, it is whether I can do it," and the discussion ended.
A few days later, the "technical" practitioner came to my home and discussed making the materials. I agreed to do it. I didn't think much about it at the time. My husband was not a practitioner, but had always supported Dafa. Our whole family respected Teacher. A few days later, the "technical" practitioner brought over all the equipment, including a notebook computer and a printer. He spent a whole day teaching me, but I didn't remember a thing afterwards, nor did I understand any of it. All I could do was take notes. This way I became acquainted with things that I had never known about before, and was exposed to them every day. With the help of the "technical" practitioner, I produced the first issue of the weekly newsletter. "Wow! So the Dafa materials are made this way," I felt quite curious. My home materials production center was thus founded.
After a while, troubles occurred. Because I wasn't looking inward at my xinxing, the printer kept causing me problems. I was greatly disturbed - it felt as though I had been forced to swallow something too hot. In order to produce the materials on time, I worked day and night, but still failed. The more I rushed, the more problems I had. I often asked the "technical" practitioner for help, but it wasn't convenient to do so. I ended up getting my son to buy me another printer.
I felt more relaxed on Mondays, while I was extremely tense on Fridays. The problems kept occurring as I stumbled along. One time, I was so worried, and I felt that I was truly stupid to have taken this job, forgetting entirely that I was a practitioner and had a mission to accomplish. Many times I thought about quitting, but I thought that if I were to quit, other people would need to go through the same troubles too. Someone has to work at the materials production center, and I shouldn't give up. So I struggled to keep going.
The only thing I knew how to do was to download from the web. I didn't know the letters. To enter the name list of people quitting the Chinese Communist Party, I asked my son to teach me to write the letters first, and then symbolized them with Chinese characters, which served as my future reference for the characters with the same pronunciation. This solved my problems with the name list, but it took hours when the list was long, and sometimes I was unable to finish it in time. Sometimes I missed some characters and had to start all over. For me, an older lady with a weak technical background, the task was too difficult. I often cried. I cried when I read the articles on the web about practitioners who were faced with difficulties making Dafa materials. When I read the article "Cultivating at a Materials Production Site in China," I cried hard. The article talked about supporting practitioners who worked in the materials production centers. I said to Teacher, "Teacher, if someone would replace me in the materials production center, I will support him myself." When the printer failed, the fellow practitioners would be waiting for the weekly newsletter, and the sentient beings were waiting to be saved. Could I just say, "Too bad. I didn't finish it in time." No, I couldn't. What I did was to keep asking Teacher for help so I could do a good job.
After seeing on the web that practitioners in materials production centers should be self-reliant and not dependent on other practitioners, I wished I was a Monkey King, who was entirely self-sufficient. Later I realized that I was better than the Monkey King, because I have my Teacher. I became strong and steadfast as soon as I thought of Teacher. From then on I had my son buy all the expendables for me.
I remember the first time I did the layout for Teacher's lecture, I wasn't sure where to begin. Based on the little bit of memory that I had of what the "technical" practitioner had taught me, I kept trying, but kept failing. I thought that with Teacher's support I would be able to do it. Thus, by trying it again and again and with Teacher's help, I succeeded. A few days later, a practitioner who was experienced in layout saw my work and was surprised, saying that it was better than his.
This has been my journey. One day, I saw in the weekly newsletter, "Are you mature?" I felt that I was. At least I didn't cry any longer, I didn't feel depressed, and I could fix the printer when it had problems. Every week I could deliver Dafa materials to fellow practitioners in neighboring villages.
I feel gratified knowing that by reading the Dafa materials that I make, people learn the facts and know that Dafa is good. They may therefore be saved and have good futures. Now I feel that producing the materials is quite enjoyable. In the process of making these materials, I have eliminated many of my attachments and learned how to look inward. I am determined to continue doing a good job in validating Dafa by producing Dafa materials, which I chose to do. I want to be a genuine Dafa practitioner, and be worthy of Teacher's effort in saving me.