(Clearwisdom.net) I am a college professor and was fortunate to have obtained the Fa in March 1997. Before I started practicing Falun Dafa, I had heart disease, stomach ailments, neurosis, and rheumatism. I was so weak that I didn't dare use cold water even in the hottest part of the summer. I easily caught colds, even simply by trying to cool off by using an electric fan. My temper was bad, too. I could manage to restrain myself at work, but my temper would easily flare up at home. I would yell and scream when disciplining my child, making everyone in the family miserable. I knew I shouldn't behave that way, but I just couldn't help it. My cousin introduced me to Falun Dafa in March 1997, and only two weeks after I started practicing, all my diseases were gone. I felt happy every day. My quality of life increased dramatically, and I now knew that the real meaning of life was to return the origin and find one's true self. I embarked on the path of cultivation and began to live by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Both my mind and body went through enormous changes. The atmosphere in my family became harmonious, and I did a much better job at work. I earned the title of model worker at various levels since obtaining the Fa.
On July 20, 1999, in collaboration with the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP), Jiang Zemin started the persecution against Falun Gong. After a brief period of confusion and contemplation, I concluded that I was not wrong in cultivating Dafa. Through studying Master's new articles published after July 20, 1999, I came to understand that the period prior to July 20, 1999 was for personal cultivation, while the one after this point was for the Fa-rectification. Dafa disciples are to assist Master in Fa-rectification, while saving all sentient beings, in fulfillment of our predestined vows. In order to let people know the truth in the midst of horrendous lies and to clear up their misunderstandings about Dafa, I threw myself into the strong current of validating Dafa in 2000.�
I handed out flyers, made banners, and hung those banners on electricity poles that lined railroads. Something I, as a college teacher, would never have done if I had not cultivated Dafa. Once, a fellow practitioner and I traveled by bike, distributing flyers in the countryside about 60 miles outside of town. We got lost when we were done at about 9 p.m., so we silently asked Master for help, and an old person who was in his 60s came along. We went up to him and asked for directions. He said, "Young woman, don't come out late at night again. What if you encountered bad people ?" As he was saying this, he walked us onto the road that led to where we wanted to go. Another time, a fellow practitioner and I were being followed by CCP officials in a vehicle as we were hanging banners at night. We were able to maintain righteous thoughts and do things in a dignified manner, so we finished doing what we needed to do and returned safely under Master's merciful protection.
The Fa-rectification is progressing continuously. Although I have been doing the three things Master told us to do, over the past two years I often felt I haven't been able to keep pace with the Fa-rectification process and slacked off. There seemed to be a separation between myself and the Fa. I studied Master's article "Towards Consummation" and read fellow practitioners' articles in "Minghui Weekly" about how to find fundamental attachments. I examined myself and found that I started cultivating Dafa to treat my illnesses, but a few years later, I no longer had that attachment. But is it true that I had no more fundamental attachments? Why did I feel I was not diligent enough and unable to keep pace with Fa-rectification?
I dug deep and discovered that although I no longer had the attachment of treating illnesses, fundamental problems remained. Master said in his article "A Suggestion", Essentials for Further Advacnement II:
"Some of the people who have obtained the Fa and, at this human surface, come to know the meaning of the Fa, have had their lives extended through the Fa; some of them have received all kinds of benefits, such as good health, harmony in the family, indirect benefits to their relatives and friends, a reduction of their karma, and even Master's bearing things for them. In other dimensions, their physical bodies are being transformed into God-bodies. Despite this, when Dafa is about to consummate you, you are unable to step forward from humanness, and when the evil persecutes Dafa you are unable to stand up to validate Dafa. These people who only want to take from Dafa and not give for Dafa are, in the eyes of Gods, the worst beings."
I found my fundamental attachment--the filthiest selfishness of using Dafa to seek a comfortable life. Precisely because of this filthy attachment, I didn't have a righteous mind and was unable to save sentient beings from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes, while I was doing things validating the Fa, a thought would pop up, "My level would improve when I finished doing this." It's just like what Master mentioned in Zhuan Falun (2003 translation version):"While some monks chant scripture, they're actually thinking to themselves, 'How much money will I get after I finish consecration in a little bit?'"
At that point, I felt ashamed of my thought, and tears ran down my cheeks. Master has scooped me up from hell despite the karma all over my body, gave me the invaluable Dafa, and allowed me to understand the real meaning of life, and yet I was using Dafa and bargaining with Dafa. Am I worthy of the title Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple? Now I am digging out this filthiest attachment, exposing it, and getting rid of it, so that I may be able to keep up with the Fa-rectification, to do better in saving sentient beings.
Truth-clarification materials centers spread like wildfire. I, too, set up one at my home with the help of fellow practitioners. For a while, the printer cartridge always seemed to have problems, and wouldn't work, even if it was deep-cleaned repeatedly. I was going to pay to have it repaired when a fellow practitioner came along and handed me an article downloaded from the Internet. This article was written by a practitioner and said that, when a printer didn't work properly, it was not because the cartridge had a problem. It was because our printers have been overworked, overheated, and they were angry, so they refused to work. After I read the article, I sincerely tried to locate my attachments, and found that I only wanted to print more materials and wasn't considerate of the printer. The printer is a being, too. So I sat in front of the printer with my hands pressed together in front of my chest. I apologized to the printer, and my eyes brimmed with tears. From then on, the printer has worked fine.
In November 2004, The Epoch Times published the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. I experienced strong interference while reading the Nine Commentaries due to years of indoctrination by the wicked CCP. After I read Master's article "Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World", I had a better understanding about the evil nature of the CCP, and decided that I should not only declare my withdrawal from the CCP on the Internet, but also refuse to participate in any of its activities and not pay any more dues. According to the evil party's charter, members who do not pay their dues for six months will be considered to have quit the organization. In July 2005, my workplace went through the routine of keeping the communist organization "clean" as mandated by the central authorities. All its members were required to take part. My supervisor had a talk with me. Because of my attachment to fear, I didn't explain to him the CCP's evil nature. But I was determined to quit the CCP, so he asked me to write a statement requesting a withdrawal, and I agreed. The evil exploited my gaps, and my husband angrily told me on the phone that I should be mindful of the consequences. After sharing with fellow practitioners, I realized that writing the statement of request meant agreeing to the old forces' arrangements. I realized that I shouldn't leave them any excuse for persecution, so I took it back and discarded it. I didn't take part in any of the activities in the drive to keep the organization "clean" and, openly quit the wicked party at my workplace.
Due to my limited level of understanding and time constraints, I only shared this much in summarizing my cultivation experiences for the past few years.
