(Clearwisdom.net) I've cultivated for nine years and have just now realized a strong attachment - my desire to change others. For a long time, I focused on where other practitioners fell short. I became attached to their attachments and frequently wanted to point them out so that they could improve. Even worse, when I pointed out other practitioners' problems, it was as if I were lecturing to grade school kids. I was afraid the others could not understand me, so I carefully shared with that practitioner every single point from the Fa.
Perhaps this has to do with habits acquired from my former profession. I was a grade school teacher in the past. I sometimes unwittingly place myself above others and try to force other practitioners to accept my perspective. When sharing ideas with others, I did so with a tone of offering guidance and direction. If other practitioners could not live up to my expectations, I would become impatient and the tone of my voice got less gentle. Sometimes I even sounded like I was giving orders. This has resulted in many conflicts between other practitioners and myself. Even so, I did not realize it was time to search within myself. I thought I was doing something good for them, and it is for their own benefit to improve. I would think to myself, "There is nothing wrong with me. You are unhappy now but will understand me later." I did not care how others treated me and thought I was being responsible for the Fa.
Now I realize that this was going to an extreme. Why couldn't I point out other practitioners' shortcomings more gently and kindly? I should help them to truly recognize it, but at the same time, not offend them. Wouldn't this be better? It would require us to follow Master's words: to mind the tone of voice, extend our compassion, explain the points well, and not become attached to others' attachments. We should point out problems to fellow practitioners, but not seek results.
Let me use several stories to illustrate how I reached this understanding.
Several years ago, I joined several Dafa projects and became a coordinator. At that time, I did not study the Fa well. Many human notions still remained when I validated the Fa. There was a major coordinator in our county who did not study the Fa enough and therefore encountered severe interference. I was worried and tried all that I could to help him improve. I asked him to come out and study the Fa with us, visited his home to study the Fa with him, and organized other practitioners to take turns to study the Fa with him at his home. These actions did not resolve his problem, but instead caused conflicts within his family. I still did not recognize the need to search inside myself, and even though I thought it could have been caused by my attachment, I could not cultivate firmly to eliminate my human notions. Three years have passed. I kept bumping into the same kind of conflicts and refused to give up.
Every practitioner who attended a particular Fa study group had been very diligent. They did well in distributing truth clarification materials and carrying out other Dafa work. However as projects piled up, they were short on people. Fewer and fewer practitioners attended the group Fa study. Eventually, no one came. When sending forth righteous thoughts and doing the exercises, a majority of the group became sleepy and unfocused. Conflicts arose from the lack of Fa study and from interference from the evil elements. This in turn created more obstacles for group Fa study and practice. I became worried and restless again upon seeing all this and started to discuss the problem with these practitioners. I became attached to their attachments and wanted to solve the problem with my efforts, asking practitioners to get rid of their human notions to raise their level. I forgot that everything comes from the power of Master and the Fa. I forgot that Master has told us to search for our own attachments when we see other people in conflict.
I, on the contrary, went a long way to study the Fa and practice the exercises with other practitioners, with the purpose of mobilizing them to form a group study environment. I placed myself above them. I was unaware of my strong will to guide others until one day when a practitioner told me, "It is you who caused this situation. You are too attached to them. The more you are attached, the more severe the interference." It suddenly became clear to me how horrible it was for me to foster my human thoughts.
I disagreed with another senior assistant in our county on several Dafa projects. The conflict stood out, and it interfered with the group's coordination and the effort of saving sentient beings. This persisted for a long time. I tried hard to search inside myself. Many of my attachments were discarded, but I also wanted her [the assistant] to do the same to improve her level. I was truly hoping the best for her and for the group from my heart. However, the conflict continued because I did not give up the intention to change others.
Several days ago, I arranged for her to talk with practitioners from other areas, hoping that she would change her view. When those practitioners mentioned things related to her human notions, I thought, "Now she should get it. She should change this time." When I later found a chance to speak to her again to point out her problem, to my surprise, she lost her temper. I calmly listened to her and was not angry at all. I thought my cultivation status was not bad. How come the other practitioner did not want to search inside herself a bit? Well, it was actually I who was not looking inside. Once again, my attachment to changing others surfaced. Why do I always do things with the purpose of changing others? Why am I so attached to those results? Didn't Master tell us "Doing, but without pursuit"? Why couldn't I follow that teaching? Why do I always wish to change others but not myself? Am I truly cultivating?
My attachment created disharmony and tension within the group. I was puzzled and went to talk to a fellow practitioner. She knew my thoughts before I had said a word and went ahead to share with me her past lessons of being attached to others' attachments.
Her words made me clearly see my attachment and helped me eliminate it in its entirety. I understand that every practitioner is looked after by Master. We only need to examine our hearts and improve ourselves when conflicts and problems arise. We should help other practitioners in a kind way, but not become attached to the result. Everything will be resolved when we let Master take charge.
