(Clearwisdom.net) Walking down the memory lane of my cultivation path and knowing that I was and am watched over by Teacher, my heart is filled with gratitude towards and admiration for Teacher. On my cultivation journey, my understanding of and enlightenment on the Fa grows constantly deeper. My xinxing level continues to elevate as I keep eliminating worldly attachments. I have so many experiences and thoughts to share because of my good fortune. Falun Gong cultivation surpasses all other forms of cultivation practice. It genuinely enables its cultivators to elevate their cultivation levels and return to their true selves. Judging from all perspectives, those who practice Falun Gong are the mot fortunate people in the world. That is why I often tell people: one is most fortunate when one is able to practice Falun Gong.
1. My Understanding of Studying the Fa
It is because of studying the Fa that I realized that I must be diligent in my cultivation practice. That is how I upgraded my understanding of the Fa and why I am able to conduct and evaluate myself according to the Fa when I come across conflicts and other challenges in life.
1.1. A Precious Period of Fa Study
I began to practice Falun Gong in August 1998. At the beginning, I felt so fortunate to cultivate this wonderful Great Way. I felt as though I had fulfilled my greatest wish in life. However, I had a very shallow understanding of the Fa in the beginning. I did not understand that studying the Fa is the most fundamental basis of this cultivation practice, nor did I know that I should exchange cultivation understandings more often with fellow practitioners in a group cultivation environment. I practiced the Falun Gong exercises alone or at an outdoor group exercise practice site. I read Zhuan Falun only occasionally. I rarely joined any group Fa study. I was cultivating alone.
From the time I began to practice Falun Gong, including the beginning months when Jiang Zemin and the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to ban and suppress Falun Gong, I persevered in my faith in Teacher and the Fa. Of course, it was mainly because Teacher was watching over me. After July 20, 1999, the cultivation environment in China became highly unfavorable for practitioners. It was almost impossible to hear any positive news about Falun Gong. Also, I did not know many practitioners. Therefore, I did not know what was happening to fellow practitioners or what practitioners were doing in response to the persecution. I was completely cut off. I had only my righteous faith in the Fa. Although I was not studying the Fa diligently, I always had faith in Teacher and the Fa. I thought like an everyday person. Sometimes, I was overcome with strong attachments and behaved worse than some non-practitioners. Yet I considered myself cultivating rather well at the time!
Teacher said,
"Studying the Fa with attachments is not true cultivation." "Even now some people still can't concentrate when it comes to reading the books. Those of you, who do work for Dafa, especially, shouldn't use any pretexts to conceal your not reading the books or studying the Fa. Even if you do work for me, your Master, you still need to study the Fa every day with a calm mind and cultivate yourself solidly." ("Towards Consummation" in Essentials for Further Advancement II).
It was not until I read this passage of the Fa in June 2006 that I realized that I ought to study the Fa more. Actually, I felt strongly about studying the Fa when I went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Gong, when I was in custody in the Tiananmen Police Station in Beijing, and on my way back from Beijing. While I was illegally detained in a detention center, I witnessed many practitioners reciting numerous articles or passages of the Fa. I had not memorized the Fa. All I could do was to listen to fellow practitioners reciting the Fa or sharing their understandings on the Fa. When I heard some practitioners' understandings of the Fa, I felt as though I had been half asleep. It was then that I knew I still had not truly entered the door of Falun Dafa. I wasn't a genuine practitioner. Words cannot describe the guilt I felt.
Having realized my inadequacies and that I had fallen far behind fellow practitioners, I understood that I was not really cultivating. I made up my mind that I must make up for the time I had wasted. I began to study and memorize the Fa during my illegal detention and on my way back home. Fellow practitioners were so patient. They kept reciting the Fa for me so that I could study and memorize it. I quickly memorized some poems in Hong Yin. Although I had memorized but a small portion of the Fa during my detention, and my understanding of the Fa was still very shallow, I had already made giant leaps in my qualitative understanding of the Fa.
This trip to Beijing to validate the Fa was a starting point and a major step forward in my cultivation. I eliminated many worldly thoughts and my xinxing was undergoing fundamental changes. I knew that as a piece of impure iron, I was transformed into a piece of purer steel. This is only a crude analogy of how I really felt.
Since then, I have gained insight into why Teacher has repeatedly asked us to study the Fa and practice the exercises as a group. It is because Falun Gong's cultivation field is a benevolent field that will elevate its practitioners. This is why it is very precious to have a group cultivation environment where we study the Fa together and practice the exercises. This is especially important for practitioners in China. Because of the CCP's persecution of Falun Gong, many practitioners have lost their group cultivation environments. Those of us who have a group cultivation environment should treasure all the more the group environment where we may study the Fa and practice the exercises together!
1.2. A Costly Lesson of Not Studying the Fa
After my trip to Beijing in 2000 to validate the Fa, a practitioner was exploited by evil beings from other dimensions because she did not study the Fa. She only practiced the exercises. This is very typical among practitioners in China. This practitioner was not subjected to persecution in this human environment. The local police knew she practiced Falun Gong, but they did not go to her home or tell her to stop practicing Falun Gong. No one asked her to stop practicing Falun Gong. The persecution came from evil beings from other dimensions. Because she did not study the Fa, she was completely overcome by her attachment to fear. She was afraid that her son, a policeman, might lose his job because she practiced Falun Gong. She was afraid that other people might criticize her because she practiced Falun Gong. She was afraid of studying the Fa or practicing the exercises. In the end, she couldn't even find her book, Zhuan Falun. She was very diligent in practicing the exercises and had endured a lot of physical pain in order to practice the sitting meditation. However, her xinxing was no different from that of an ordinary person. This must be the reason why evil beings from other dimensions subjected her to psychological and physical torments. Fellow practitioners tried to help her, but it did not work. She claimed that evil beings from other dimensions had put her through too much pain. "I have given up practicing Falun Gong," she said. I told fellow practitioners her story. It was a hard lesson that prompted us to study the Fa and elevate our xinxing levels.
In terms of studying the Fa, every one of us has his or her own understanding. Now that I recall my understanding of the Fa in the beginning of my cultivation practice, I find it incredibly naive and ignorant. Teacher said,
"The destiny is tied,
And Fa what you cultivate,
Study the book a lot,
Consummation draws near."
("Set the Mind at Ease" in Hong Yin Translation Version A)
I was delighted when I read this poem. I thought, "Well, cultivation is easy! I can reach Consummation as long as I study the Fa more." Therefore, I often told people that a person can reach Consummation as long as he reads Falun Gong books!
In time, I understood that reading the Fa improves everyone's understanding of the Fa and studying the Fa is eliminating bad thoughts in our heads. Studying the Fa rectifies our thoughts and upgrades our xinxing. Studying the Fa is the only guarantee that we can succeed in our cultivation practice. Therefore, I make sure to study the Fa, no matter how busy I am. When I study the Fa well, I feel very energetic and I don't feel sleepy at all. Moreover, everything seems to run very smoothly when I'm diligent. When I don't study the Fa well, I feel sleepy when I study the Fa and I forget what I study. When I don't study the Fa well, I feel as though I am trying to finish off an assignment and I don't even know what I have studied. A fellow practitioner told me that he falls asleep and the book drops to the floor when he is not diligent.
Because I am the only Falun Gong practitioner in my household and because of my schedule and conditions, I have not been able to join the local group Fa study. Yet, since I have already experienced the power of group Fa study and witnessed the hard lesson of not studying the Fa, I dare not neglect my Fa study. Whether I am in the office, take trips or go to other places, I often bring Falun Gong books with me. When I am in a situation or a place where I cannot study the Fa, I will recite the Fa instead. Except for unusual situations, I will never miss my midnight Fa study.
Teacher said,
"When a cultivator's mind departs from the Fa, the evil will find its way in." "Then if your mind isn't on the Fa when you're studying the Fa, who are you studying it for? This isn't to criticize you--I'm just telling you that this is a really critical situation. So, no matter how busy you get, when you study the Fa you have to set aside all other thoughts--don't think about other things at all, just study the Fa." ("Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.")
I must memorize the Fa daily, otherwise I feel as if something is missing. Although I must admit that at times I don't study the Fa diligently, I know that only when I memorize the Fa well will nothing else disturb me. If a practitioner's thought departs from the Fa or if he is not diligent, it is certain that worldly thoughts will fill his mind. Since we are cultivating among everyday people, studying the Fa is the only way to guarantee that our minds are not being polluted by degenerated matters around us.
The Fa-rectification has progressed to the present stage. Saving sentient beings is about saving precious lives. Every practitioner is clarifying the truth about Falun Gong to people because every practitioner knows his mission well. But, because we are busy with truth-clarification work, we tend to neglect our personal cultivation practice. We ought to be even more diligent so that Teacher won't have to worry about us all the time.
2. My Understanding of Righteous Thoughts
Cultivation during the Fa-rectification period is different from all other past cultivation practices. In addition to their personal cultivation, practitioners must also save sentient beings. Despite the present unusual circumstances, whether we can do the three things well determines whether we are able to walk our paths righteously. Regardless of the complexity of the situation we may be in, we must not lack righteous thoughts when we encounter interference when doing the three things. I don't think there is really a good or a bad cultivation environment. A good or bad environment is a test that we must overcome. To remain solid and unshakable like diamond at all times and in all kinds of environments can only be achieved with righteous thoughts.
2.1. Battle between the Righteous and the Evil
There is no cultivator that does not have any attachments. However, if we fail to be diligent, even the slightest attachment will be expanded infinitely and eventually, evil beings from other dimensions will exploit the attachment and drag us down.
Last year, several practitioners and I who had loopholes were illegally arrested during a cultivation experience sharing meeting. When taken to the entrance of a detention center, we sent forth righteous thoughts. It started to rain heavily. Our powerful righteous thoughts as a group shook heaven and earth and discouraged the evil forces. In hindsight, our righteous thoughts were still not strong enough or we would have been released right away. Once in the prison cell, the guards and prisoners used violence against us. They have lost all reason and rational thinking. They spoke in profane language and used the evil CCP's twisted logic. This was the first time I faced a situation like this. We sent forth righteous thoughts as a group. Therefore, even the two most violent and profane prison inmates stopped being violent.
During the battle between the righteous and the evil, I found that sending forth righteous thoughts worked sometimes, but failed at other times. After exchanging thoughts with fellow practitioners, we realized that it is not that sending forth righteous thoughts failed to work, but that the evil beings were focusing on us and kept supplying the torturers with evil energy. In addition, we shouldn't be sending forth righteous thoughts just to target certain evil beings or just to save ourselves from the persecution. Instead, we ought to send forth righteous thoughts for the sake of saving sentient beings. We ought to eradicate evil beings on a larger scale.
Afterwards, I also realized that Teacher taught us to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil beings not just for the sake of cleansing our personal fields. It is part of saving sentient beings. When evil beings manipulate everyday people, the people will refuse to listen to the truth about Falun Gong and might end up destroying themselves because of the crimes they commit under the influence of the evil.
When I was released from a detention center in 2005, the CCP's local agency took me to a brainwashing center. The guards at the center shouted at me, ordering me to blaspheme Teacher and the Fa. I looked the most violent ones in the eye while sending forth righteous thoughts and completely ignored their blasphemy. I only concentrated on sending forth righteous thoughts. When they couldn't think of anything else, they told me to say, "I support the CCP." I told them, "We are not involved in politics." Then, I ignored everything they said. I continued to send forth righteous thoughts and completely let go of the thought of being released. Under Teacher's compassionate protection, I was released right away. I walked out of the evil den uprightly.
2.2. Guarding Each and Every Thought
If a cultivator will not let go of humanness, how will he be able to cultivate towards godhood? Cultivators at different levels or in different environments may have different understandings of righteous thoughts. Actually, our actions will show if we have sufficient righteous thoughts or not, such as in our interaction with family, friends and relatives, or in our attitude towards work or life. If we are able to conduct ourselves at all times with righteous thoughts according to the standard of a cultivator, we will be able to handle everything better, despite our humanness. I often feel regret after not handling a situation as well as some fellow practitioners or when I didn't recognize the problem at the time. This is the root cause of why I hold on to humanness.
Teacher said,
"What is human? Sentiments and desires fill the body.
What is immortal? Human mentalities do not exist.
What is Buddha? Benevolence and virtue in abundance.
What is Dao? A pure and tranquil true being."
("Distinction Between Human and Enlightened Beings" in Hong Yin Translation Version B)
Teacher said,
"If you hold on to humanness with one hand and won't let go, and you hold on to Buddhahood with the other hand and won't let go, just which one exactly do you want?" ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference").
A fellow practitioner often uses the above to describe his lack of righteous thoughts. In other words, often we actually know that we still have this or that attachment, but why aren't we trying to eliminate the attachment? All lives in the universe, even from a very high level down, have deviated from the standard of the Fa. High-level beings have deviated from the Fa as well. It follows that some of our attachments may have formed at different levels of the universe a long time ago as we came down from our respective levels to the human realm. Some attachments may have been born at our origins. On the surface, those attachments have become part of our lives. This is why people who do not cultivate do not find any flaws with themselves. When practitioners identify those attachments that are not their true selves, they must immediately take action and eliminate them. We must not acknowledge them. We must eliminate them with righteous thoughts. Meanwhile, we must also upgrade our xinxing so that Teacher may remove them for us. Teacher will remove as many attachments as we are willing to let go of to upgrade our xinxing. If we can evaluate and guard our each and every thought, it will not be difficult to let go of our attachments.
2.3. Lessons from Lacking Righteous Thoughts in My Cultivation
Shortly after I began to practice Falun Gong, I learned that I ought to eliminate my attachments of lust and desire because Teacher said,
"Desires, lust, and things of these sorts are all human attachments, and all of them should be given up." ("Demonic Interference in Cultivation" in Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun).
Therefore, I made a conscious effort to suppress desire and lust. Soon I managed to stop from having sexual relations with my wife. I considered myself very good at eliminating these notions. However, I failed to detect my deeply hidden lust that was as stubborn as rock. As a result, my desire and lust kept growing until I stumbled and realized that I had not eliminated my lust at the root. I only eliminated it on the surface, but it still existed in a deep dimension. This stubborn attachment manifests itself in my dreams or in my relationships with female fellow practitioners.
There was a period of time when I frequently communicated with a much younger female fellow practitioner. We cooperated with each other and complemented each other very well concerning our truth-clarification work. We did not have any inappropriate conduct. The problem is that I was compelled to show off in front of her and I could not stop thinking about her. Finally, I realized I had become completely smitten with her. Although I had already detected my romantic feelings for her, I was unable to remove them for several months. I have another vice--I look over other practitioners and non-practitioners and think, "She is very pretty," or "This woman is cool." I often check out women and score them in my mind. It was not until the summer of 2005 when I was arrested and imprisoned in a detention center that I started to take a hard look at myself and search within. After I repeatedly examined many things I had done, I finally identified and faced my romantic attachment to this female practitioner. This was a loophole that gave the evil the opportunity to exploit me.
This hard lesson shows that there is filthy lust and desire germinating deep inside my dimension. I must persevere and improve upon my righteous thoughts. I must continue to eliminate them. If I ever neglect to suppress and eliminate these desires and lust, they might come back and haunt me again.
2.4. Facing My Job With Righteous Thoughts
Teacher said,
"I think that as cultivators, you should put Dafa first, but you should also do your job well. You should try your best to do things well. As far as how to balance this, when it comes to the specifics you still need to prioritize things yourself. If you say, "I'm too busy, so I won't read," then that's equivalent to not cultivating. Say, "I'll just completely devote myself to my job," and then you'll just be an ordinary person." ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
First of all, I must be clear as to whether I work for the sake of cultivating myself or whether I cultivate for the sake of doing my job better. We are cultivating among everyday people. That we do our jobs well does not mean we cultivate well. Everyday people can do their jobs well without cultivating themselves. But, if we cultivate ourselves well, we will naturally do well at work.
Practitioners are the most fortunate lives in the universe because our compassionate Teacher has been systematically and in an orderly way balancing and arranging everything for us. I dare say that I am a witness of Teacher's compassion.
When I first began to practice Falun Gong, I understood that a cultivator must not be attached to his job, but that he must do his job well. Yet it takes some time for a cultivator to balance work and cultivation. In the beginning of 2001, my boss promoted me to head of a division. After the promotion, I was swamped with work and never had a moment of peace. Every day, I went to work early and worked overtime. Then, a fellow practitioner reminded me not to be attached to work. Her reminder made a great impact on me. Since then, I would get off work on time, no matter how much work there was. I would work on it the next day. Once, a fellow practitioner asked me if I had time to go to a Fa conference. I replied immediately, "I will go to the Fa conference no matter how busy I am at work." I left my work pager in my office before I left work. I did not have a cell phone at the time. My office kept looking for me while I was away, but, when I returned to the office, everything had been resolved. Since then, my office has decided not to put me on pager call, leaving me free to do other things.
When I returned home from Beijing in 2000, I felt as though someone had detonated a bomb in my office. My colleagues were terribly frightened. In response, I was not attached to my work. When the police station and my boss asked how I would respond if I were to be fired, I replied, "I aspire to be the best among the best of people and I am a very diligent person. If my office decides to keep me, I will do my job well like I always have. If they don't want to keep me, I won't give my boss a hard time. However, I don't think it would be just to fire me and I think it would be a loss to my office." Because of Teacher's compassionate arrangement, my office did not fire me. In fact, I was promoted again shortly afterwards.
I didn't have a good understanding of the Fa at the time. In addition to the aforementioned understanding, I also thought, "I should take advantage of my workplace to give my colleagues opportunities to have a positive understanding of Falun Gong." It was a very simple idea. It was not until later that I understood a cultivator's single thought could determine the outcome of things. A righteous thought will make a world of difference to my cultivation or to the outcome of things.
In the summer of 2005, I lost my job when I was released from the detention center. However, I was not attached to that job. I felt very calm, and I refused to acknowledge this form of persecution. However, my wife kept complaining about it. I had but one thought: Every practitioner's path is arranged by Teacher. The evil is nothing to fear. I told my wife, "It is Teacher that arranges my path. My office will hire me back sooner or later." A month later, my boss asked me for a meeting and asked me to come back. I had already started to work for another company. My boss's offer was conditional. He asked me to guarantee that I would not "get myself into trouble again." He implied that I must stop practicing Falun Gong.
My very first thought was I would never agree to go back under such a condition. I took the opportunity to clarify the truth about Falun Gong and about the CCP to my boss. A month later, my boss asked for another meeting to beg me to come back, but I was working for another company and had just become familiar with my new job. If I should resign now, what would they think of Falun Gong if they found out I practiced Falun Gong? But my old boss had made all the arrangements for me to go back. What should I do? In my personal cultivation, this should be an easy decision because all I had to do was to follow the natural course. However, the decision was very difficult. I had to evaluate my decision based on the standard of the Fa. I was fired because of the persecution. Since I refused to acknowledge the persecution and my boss was asking me back, there was no reason why I should not go back. Therefore, I decided to go back to work, unconditionally.
My division does not have a large staff, but people's minds are complex and cunning. Many people's behavior at work comes from the erosion of moral values in China. I was once asked, "Today's people in China have lost their morality. How do you manage to do your job well if you want to treat them kindly?" In other words, it seems impossible for a person to manage his staff if he is not tough. This is a wrong notion from the perspective of cultivation, but it is not entirely wrong for an everyday person to think like this because this may be the only way an everyday person knows how to manage his staff. As a practitioner, I know very well how I should manage my staff, based on the Fa.
First of all, I am kind to all my colleagues at all times, but I also let them know that righteousness is most important. I make sure that they know what they should and should not do. If my office issues an administrative rule that contradicts my philosophy, I will not pass it to my subordinates. Actually, my office also makes new rules to punish employees, without realizing that it will only create a vicious cycle. I always try to follow the principles and be equally kind to everyone. I do solid work instead of superficial work and differentiate work from personal affairs. Meanwhile, I often share my understanding of work behavior. I ask my subordinates not to criticize or verbally abuse their colleagues during a conflict. I encourage my subordinates to search within instead. I arrange salary and benefits fairly according to their actual work performance.
I am not partial to any of my colleagues because they are not cultivators and it is normal that they behave like everyday people, even when it compromises the interests of my company. Besides, the way my company evaluates economic interest is very limited and may not be correct. As a cultivator, I should not pass judgment on who is right or wrong, because ordinary people's thinking is wrong when measured with the Fa. Hence, I must guard my own xinxing and remain solid and unshakable in the face of their notions and thoughts at all times. In fact, I have never really disciplined my staff. I simply lead them to the right direction with compassion and righteousness. I have never criticized or reproached any of my staff. I have become a kindhearted, just, selfless and honest big brother. My entire division exudes a peaceful atmosphere and everyone watches himself. If any of my staff fails to do his job, he will feel embarrassed to face me. In such an environment, my colleagues have no reason to create a conflict, challenge me or dodge work. I am perceived by my bosses and subordinates as an excellent manager. The way I manage my staff seems rather incredible to them. It is Falun Gong that bestowed me with the wisdom to make it attainable. My work is a solid manifestation of Falun Gong's cultivation principles - Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance.
Naturally, conflict is an inevitable element at work. There are things that really bring out my attachments. I have become decreasingly attached to conflicts at work. My understanding of the relationship between cultivation and work is such: I may be physically at work, but my mind will not be shaken by things at work. This attitude may be applied to other aspects in our lives. As long as we handle everything around us with righteous thoughts and as long as we can identify human notions as they appear, we will be able to balance cultivation and work well, or balance other things and cultivation well.
(To be continued)
