Human Emotions Make for Tribulations: The Power of Righteous Thoughts
(Clearwisdom.net) I began to practice Falun Gong at the end of 1994. I am 66 years old now. My life had been miserable since childhood and I did not know the law of cause and effect based on karma, so I resented my misfortune and envied others who did have good fortune. I grew up with anger, hatred and resentment. I had very strong jealousy and a competitive mentality. After I joined the workforce, I did not enjoy a single pain-free day because of the pain in my stomach and gallbladder. I had to be hospitalized once or twice every month. Each time, the doctors had to inject me with strong painkillers. My life was worse than death during those years. After I became a practitioner, I went through several big karma elimination tests. Sometimes I lost consciousness from the pain, but I passed the tests because of my strong faith in Master. Later, I really experienced for the first time in my life the feeling of being free of illness. Walking required almost no effort. Those who knew me witnessed Falun Dafa's power. I told myself that I would follow Master all the way home.
After July 20, 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which controlled the media, broadcast a daily smear campaign on television against our Master. I was so angry: "My Master is so righteous, and the Fa is so great--how could the CCP persecute Falun Gong and ban the practice?" I said to Master in my heart, "Master, no matter what other practitioners do, whether they continue or stop practicing, I will follow you all the way home."
I decided to go to Beijing to validate the Fa. My son told me, "Mom, I know that Falun Dafa is great, and I am not opposed to your visiting Beijing, but the weather is so cold. If you are arrested, the conditions in the detention center are so harsh. Can you endure it?" I said, "It doesn't matter. Master is protecting me. What is there to be afraid of? I cannot stay home any longer. I must go now."
On February 13, 2000, I went to Beijing for the first time. The police illegally arrested me and put me in a detention center. While I was detained, I felt that Master was cleansing my body, from head to toe. Despite the harsh treatment, I did not suffer any stomach pain. By the time I got out I had even gained some weight.
On June 22, 2000, I went to Beijing for the second time and was arrested again. My practitioner daughter and I were detained in the same cell. I witnessed several practitioners and my daughter being beaten after they practiced the exercises. Later I was moved to another room and separated from my daughter. I kept thinking about her and was worried that she might be assaulted again. My emotions were so strong that I could not eat much. When I got out, I found that I had lost much weight.
One evening in February 2004, I saw many people burning fake money for their deceased family members. I thought, "My husband passed away many years ago. Most of the money he left I have used on Fa-rectification activities. Now it is near the Chinese New Year. I should buy some fake money and burn it for him; otherwise, I will feel bad for him." It was wrong of me to think like this. The next morning, I told my son to visit his father's grave and handed him 20 yuan to buy fake money to burn. Shortly after he left, I began to read a Dafa book. Suddenly, a voice came to my ear, "Who told you to spend the money on Fa-rectification? Now I am going to set a fire on the graveyard hill." I immediately realized that this was an evil persecution. I closed the book, erected my right palm and began to eradicate the evil. I told it, "Using my money to help Fa-rectification is what I should do. I am a Dafa disciple. I will never let you persecute me!" I also said, "Master, please strengthen me."
At lunchtime my son, a non-practitioner, returned and told me excitedly, "Mom, how dangerous this was! When we started burning the fake money, a gust of wind blew the money away. It soon started a fire in the dried grass and trees. I realized that we were in big trouble. The wind was so strong, and the fire was spreading so fiercely. The whole hill would be burned in no time. I felt hopeless. Suddenly I thought about asking Master for help." My son recites "Falun Dafa is good" every day. He displays Master's portrait in his house and makes offerings of fruit to Master's portrait. He continued, "I asked Master Li to help. Guess what? Within 30 seconds the wind stopped, but only at the fire location. We managed to put out the fire with our clothes. Once the fire was out, the strong wind returned. How amazing Dafa is!"
I discussed this incident later on with other practitioners. We realized that the evil had taken advantage of my loophole and imposed such a huge test on us because I had a strong sense of emotion for my late husband. I did not measure myself based on a practitioner's standard. Now we badly need money for truth-clarification activities to help save sentient beings, but I spent money to buy fake money to burn for my late husband. My initial motivation was wrong, and my mind was not right either.
One day, my younger sister called me about her husband's illness, liver cirrhosis. After spending thousands of yuan on hospital bills, he could no longer tolerate any treatment. He would vomit any medicine he tried to swallow, and his body would also reject injections. Doctors told my sister to take him home and prepare for his death. He didn't have many days left. Then my sister suddenly thought of me, a Dafa practitioner. She asked me to come to her house. I was not thrilled and said, "I don't want to go. He is already in that kind of shape. What can I do to help?"
After I hung up the phone, I told my daughter, "Some time ago I tried very hard to clarify the facts about Dafa to your uncle, but he refused to believe me. Now he is in such bad shape. My sister called me to help. I don't really want to go. It is a waste of time." My daughter said, "Mom, you are wrong! You are being controlled by resentment and selfish thinking. Maybe he is due to become a practitioner now. You should really go there now."
My daughter's suggestion woke me up. I quickly negated my thinking and was on the way to my sister's home. My brother-in-law was in bad shape from the debilitating illness. I told him about my own experience in practicing Falun Gong. This time he completely agreed with me and began to study Dafa and to practice the exercises.
After a period of Fa study, his health improved daily. He has now completely recovered from the illness. Master has given my brother-in-law a second chance at life!
One day my sister told me about her bad financial situation and her difficult life. After the conversation I recalled how unhappy her childhood was, and now she was still unhappy. I felt great pity for her and wanted to cry. My daughter saw my emotion and told me, "Mom, you are affected by emotion. Please, suppress and eliminate it. As Master told us, for everyday people birth, old age, illness and death are all caused by karma. How can you be affected by emotion?"
After my daughter left I realized she was right: I was being controlled by emotion. My righteous thoughts were not strong enough, and my emotions still lingered. My mind was therefore still unclear. In the evening, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I called my daughter. She came to my house to send forth righteous thoughts and eliminate the evil interference. After a while I felt much better. My daughter shared her thoughts with me and asked me to look inside myself for the root cause of the pain. When I told her that I still have an attachment to my sister's difficulties, my daughter said sharply, "I told you to let go of that emotion. You did not! Now look at how badly the evil persecuted you!" After hearing her anger, I felt hurt and almost lost my breath. My daughter immediately realized that she also was affected by emotion and quickly adjusted her thoughts, but I did not have righteous thoughts and told her, "I cannot breathe! I am going to die!" My daughter said firmly, "Mom, you are okay, you can breathe! The old forces took advantage of my resentment. But they are nothing. We must not be afraid of them. We must believe in Master and Dafa!
I suddenly had this righteous thought, "I can, I surely can. I will follow Master all the way home. No one is allowed to persecute me. I will abandon my attachments through cultivation. The old forces are not allowed to persecute me. I do not acknowledge the old forces' arrangements at all."
My daughter and I began to send forth righteous thoughts. In a short time my stomachache was gone. Just a while before, the pain was killing me, but then I was completely normal again. Once again I witnessed Dafa's power and Master's compassion. I also came to experience Dafa's serious nature and what can happen among practitioners.
Now I am able to let go of much of my attachment to loved ones. Whenever I encounter these matters I will immediately remind myself that I am a Dafa disciple. All of these circumstances are part of a drama. I should not be fooled by the drama and remain calm. I am one of thousands of lotus flowers Master has planted. Although I still have many attachments, I am determined to correct myself and increase my capacity for genuine compassion and forbearance. I will continue to be a genuine cultivator and follow Master all the way home.