(Clearwisdom.net) I have practiced Falun Dafa for 10 years. However, within my circle of friends and relatives, only two started practicing Falun Dafa after I introduced them to it. And only several of them have quit the CCP through my truth clarification efforts. I have not impressed anyone at my place of employment. After I became a practitioner, some people said I was less involved with ordinary things, so they would not practice Falun Gong. I laughed at them within my heart for their attachments. They did not understand cultivation, and I did not need to argue with them.
Family members said that I was a good person before I began cultivation, and even though I was not bad after becoming a cultivator, they preferred me the way I was before. At that time, my thought was not to become entangled in affection for family members and to continue "my way of cultivation." After 2000, the relationship between my family members and me became more serious. My heart followed daily attachments. When I was at work, I always cared about what time I would get off. Recently, I realized I that have been not as diligent or as peaceful as before. When I realized this I calmed down for several days, but later, I reverted to the same pattern. My heart ached: I have been practicing for ten years, but people around me who did not practice could not realize the brilliance of the Fa. This was a serious problem. I wanted to change, but I could not find the root of my problem.
Today, when I was memorizing the Fa, I enlightened to a principle. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun (Lecture Five, "Fashen," 2000 Translation):
"Of course, in practicing cultivation in ordinary human society, we should respect parents and educate our children. Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members. We should treat everyone in the same way. We must be good to our parents and children and be considerate of others in all respects. Such a heart is thus unselfish, and it is a heart of kindness and benevolence."
I calmed down again and evaluated myself based on the Fa. I suddenly realized that the root of the problem is "selfishness." Before I practiced Falun Dafa, I tried to be as good a person as I could, so I did my best while at work. I obtained praise and honors. I showed respect for my parents. People who knew me were very impressed. After I started practicing, I developed notions about the "advantages" of cultivation, and I did not understand that my work environment was for cultivation and saving my coworkers. That is why people could not recognize my radiance as a practitioner. Teacher said:
"When people who have bad thoughts think about wrong things, under the strong effect of your field they might change their thinking, they might stop having bad thoughts for the time being." (Zhuan Falun, The Third Talk, "Energy Field," 2003 Translation)
I did not have compassion, so people could not feel my compassion. I had not rid myself of the old cosmos' principle--selfishness. How could I validate the Fa? I decided to follow the new cosmos' principles and cultivate diligently. I want to change from my core, clarify the truth and save sentient beings.