Greetings honorable Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
Today I'd like to share with you some of my experiences in Dafa cultivation. Among these experiences, sometimes I did things well with righteous thoughts, but sometimes I didn't do very well. I wrote about these experiences so that I can share them with everyone and we can improve together. Moreover, I also hope that this will motivate me to be more diligent.
Starting Cultivation
In 2002 I "officially" began my cultivation in Falun Dafa, though I had heard of Dafa as early as 1998. At that time, while I was home for summer vacation, my parents recommended Falun Dafa to me. They told me that it was wonderful and took me to the practice site in front of the city government building one morning. But because at that time my enlightenment quality was not very good, I stopped going after doing exercises there for just several days. There were also people doing other qigong exercises at that site, but Falun Dafa practitioners outnumbered the others.
Although over the next few years I didn't practice Dafa, in my heart I always knew that Dafa was good. Since I was attending school in another city at that time, my mother asked me to keep Zhuan Falun with me to read when I had time. Although Zhuan Falun was with me all the time, I still didn't read through the whole book for several years.
Finally, in 2002, while home for summer vacation, my parents had a serious conversation with me about starting cultivation in Falun Dafa with them. That time, I agreed.
When I came to the U.S in 2005, I could only do double-leg crossing for 45 minutes with great pain. At the practice site I saw that other practitioners could easily cross both legs for one hour, which I admired very much and wondered when I could do it as well as them. Because there are many Fa-rectification projects and activities in the U.S., I started to participate in some. Gradually I could also do double-leg crossing for one hour. Sometimes I felt "...wonderful and very comfortable as though you are sitting inside an egg shell...", just like Teacher said in Zhuan Falun. I was very happy about this but was not sure why doing double-leg crossing was always painful, though I practiced all five exercises every morning when I lived with my parents in China.
Now I live in the U.S. without them to push me, and because of my laziness I haven't done the meditation exercise every day. Then what's the reason for the big change? One day while I was studying the Fa I realized what my problem was in the past. Although I practiced the exercises more often in China, my xinxing level was not high, and I seldom clarified the truth to others, so double-leg crossing was always painful for me. Now I am here and am trying to do all three things well. That's the reason for the significant change. From this experience I learned how important it is to do the three things and do them well, and understood the meaning of "One's gong level is as high as one's xinxing level..."
Eliminating the Attachment of Fear
I'd like to share with you how I eliminated my attachment of fear in Fa-rectification activities. I heard that there were many CCP spies overseas. When I first started going to Fa-rectification activities in the U.S., my fear of evil emerged quite often. So to encourage myself I often kept in mind, "Why did you come here from China? When you were in China you always wanted to do some Fa-rectification work in the U.S. Now that you are here, what are you afraid of?" Gradually most of my fear was eliminated.
Last year when Chinese president Hu Jintao visited the U.S., I went to Seattle with some practitioners from Los Angeles to clarify the truth. My attachment of fear appeared again. This time, it was even worse than before. The first day we went to a march in Seattle's Chinatown. I held a banner with another practitioner. During the march, I felt that all of the reporters' cameras had taken aim on me. The sound of camera shutters and the sight of photos flashing greatly disturbed my heart. I thought to myself, what if they put my pictures in the newspaper or on TV? What would happen to me? Will the CCP spies blacklist me?" Later I began to recite Teacher's poem, "What's There to Fear" (Hong Yin II, English Translation Version B),
If you have fear, they will grab you
Once your thought is righteous, evil will collapse
Gradually I calmed down, and I told myself, "I will go ahead no matter what happens. If they really do something bad to me, I will hold a press conference and reveal their evil deeds."
Later I recalled some sharing articles from the Clearwisdom website about similar situations. I realized that I should not even have these kind of thoughts. Having this type of thought is like admitting the evil's existence. Practitioners must validate Dafa openly and with dignity. The evil has no right to test Dafa disciples. This kind of "what if" would never happen. If the lives controlled by evil did any bad things to me, that means that they would have committed crimes against Dafa. For their own sake, we would not allow them to do anything bad to me. After thinking it through, I felt my righteous thoughts become stronger. Over the following two days when protesting the CCP's persecution in front of Microsoft and Boeing's company buildings I was interviewed by several reporters. I clarified the truth to them while sending forth righteous thoughts silently. It was then that felt the fear factor in my mind diminishing greatly.
When I came back to LA, I had prepared myself for any possibilities: "Has my photo been posted on any media outlets? I hope my photo shows the positive image of Dafa practitioners." I calmly browsed reports from different media outlets on the Internet and didn't find a single picture with me in it. After a moment, I smiled and said to Teacher in my heart, "Teacher, I understand - you are helping me to get rid of my fear in this way."
Clarifying the Truth on Santa Monica Beach
Last August, LA practitioners decided to expose just how evil the CCP's persecution of practitioners is by holding an organ harvesting demonstration on Santa Monica beach every Sunday. Many practitioners were often very busy on Sunday and couldn't go to the beach. One Sunday, it looked as if the demonstration would not be held due to a lack of practitioners. I also had a lot of homework to do and was thinking that I also couldn't go that Sunday. But as it turned out, much like several other occasions, I was able to finish my homework before the scheduled truth clarification activity. On this particular Sunday, we ended up with just enough practitioners for the demo. I know very well that Teacher was encouraging us with his compassionate care to continue holding the activity. While participating, I learned that every small incident is about cultivation. In the beginning I played the role of a doctor, and a senior practitioner played the role of a patient lying on a long table. The older practitioner is about 70-80 years old and she would lie on the table for several hours straight without complaint.
Once I had to lie on the table and act as a patient, and I had some complaints in my heart. Although I know that no matter what we do, playing the role of a doctor, or a patient, distributing truth clarification materials, or clarifying the truth to tourists, they're all cultivation in different forms, and they're all for saving people, Yet, when it was my turn to be the patient, I was not so happy. As I lay on the table, I realized that it was not so easy to play the part of the patient. The table was hard and cold and made my back ache, but the patient should not move at will. After a while my back and legs started to ache. It was then I that I thought of the senior practitioner who had served as a patient and I had a lot of respect for her. I thought to myself, it was not an easy task to act as a patient. Isn't this also cultivation?
Most of the time I acted as a doctor. Because the doctor stood in the middle, I had the broadest view and often saw when someone was watching, but hadn't been given truth-clarification materials. At the beginning I hurried to look for the practitioner who was responsible for distributing flyers and asked him or her to give the person a flyer. But there were many tourists watching, so such action would diminish the effect and overall impact of the demonstration. Besides, by the time the practitioner was ready to hand out the flyer, that person had sometimes already left. After several such incidents, I realized that I should not act like this. Teacher has said, "Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts are Powerful," (Essentials for Further Advancement II) and our demo is to expose the evil. Our site consists of a very powerful energy field which can eliminate the evil and save people. So instead I enlightened that I should send forth strong righteous thoughts so that everyone would see the truth when they viewed our re-enactment.
Indeed, after my mentality changed, I noticed two people in front of me. They didn't have any flyers in hand, but one was explaining to the other what our activity was about and the content of our exhibition boards. I also enlightened to the meaning of harmonizing as one body. I realized that I should put aside anxious thoughts and unconditionally trust our fellow practitioners - no matter where they hand out flyers, they would do a good job. Even if some people didn't get our flyers, Dafa's field and the field of our righteous thoughts would also harmonize these lives and let them learn the truth. From this experience, I realized that in our Fa-rectification activities, we should also trust our fellow practitioners, stop having negative thoughts about them, and believe that they can do well. If there is anything they can do better, we should harmonize the situation with righteous thoughts.
Different kinds of people came to our activity, including Chinese. At first, when I heard them making comments using the CCP's language, I could not maintain my xinxing and would say something like "Heaven will eliminate the CCP. If you stay with it, you will have a bad future." One day, another practitioner's response really touched my heart. That day a Chinese tour group was touring the beach. They looked like Chinese government officials. They refused all materials our practitioners offered to them. After their tour they stood near our demo site and waited for their tour bus. One of our practitioners took some materials to them and said, "Hi folks, it is not easy to come here from abroad. It's a good chance to learn the truth, which will be beneficial to you. Have you read the 'Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party'?" This practitioner spoke to them for quite some time, but these people still didn't accept her materials. So she came back. Later she went there again to clarify the truth. She did this for four or five times. Although these Chinese people still didn't take any flyers from her, they all listened to what she said with a smile. Seeing that, I asked myself whether I could behave and endure like she did.
Later this practitioner told me that when she was distributing flyers at the airport that night, she ran into those Chinese people again. She went up to them and said, "It seems we have some predestined relationship. It looks like you should take the truth-clarifying materials back to China with you." These people smiled at her and took the materials. Hearing this, I was also very excited. Thanks to Teacher's compassion, these people were given multiple opportunities to be saved.
I also want to share with you one incident during the demo which deeply impressed me. One day I acted as the patient and suddenly some commotion caught my attention. Since I could not move, I only heard some voices. A lady spoke to other practitioners loudly in English, "I am currently a PhD. student in the U.S. I have lived in China for more than 20 years. I know the situation there very well! What you are showing here is not true. I admit that CCP has some problems, but it's not this bad!" One practitioner tried to clarify the truth to her, while others helped to send forth righteous thoughts. But they could not persuade her. Another practitioner went up to her and tried again. Gradually her voice got lower. It seemed that she accepted some of what practitioners were saying. It was then I noticed tears running down my face. I thought to myself just how deceived Chinese people were due to the CCP propaganda and lies. This lady was so pitiful, but hopefully she would learn the truth today. I felt that my compassion emerged, and I truly experienced the feeling of sadness for a life lost in delusion.
Maybe Teacher saw my heart, as this lady didn't leave. She continued to read our exhibition boards until the demo was over. She then asked, "Are any of you recently from China? I want to discuss something with you. Those Falun Gong practitioners I just spoke with are either from Taiwan or are westerners. They don't understand the situation in China." I replied, "I am from China. Let's talk." She said, "I have been in the U.S. for several years. Frankly I have a good impression of the Falun Gong group. I don't believe what the CCP says about you. Because after I came to the U.S., I found that wherever I go, I always run into Falun Gong practitioners telling people about the persecution. So I thought to myself, if this group isn't enduring such a big injustice, why do they do this persistently for several years? Therefore I now believe what you say about the persecution. But this CCP organ harvesting issue, I cannot believe that." I responded, "First of all, this is not the first time that we have held the organ harvesting demonstration here. We are here every Sunday. So you can similarly deduce that if what we say was not true, the Chinese-Embassy would have acted up a long time ago, right? You know, the CCP always likes chicanery, but up to now why have they not raised any issues about this? There is only one reason - what our demonstration depicts is true. Secondly, you can go to the Internet to read David Matas and David Kilgour's independent investigation report about this. There is much compelling evidence. You can analyze it for yourself." She asked many other questions, and I was able to respond to all of them. In the end, she said, "Today so many people tried to clarify the truth to me, but only you made me understand clearly. Thank you very much!" One life is saved, as I deeply felt Teacher's magnificent compassion.
I still don't do well in many aspects of my cultivation. Staggering along the path of cultivation, my every step is supported by our great Teacher. I sincerely hope that every practitioner will take righteous actions with righteous thoughts, do the three things well, reach consummation and return with Teacher!
