Let Us Be Worthy of Teacher's Compassionate and Painstaking Salvation
I recently watched the DVD of Teacher's "Fa-Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners" three times and it made me think a lot. When I watched it the first time, it seemed to me that Teacher's tone was a bit somber. He was concerned about practitioners not being diligent. Listening to Teacher talk, my heart was crying, and my tears were about to fall. When I watched it the second and third times, I felt embarrassed. Much of what Teacher said, I felt, was directed towards me. Teacher touched upon the attachments and deficiencies in my cultivation that had been there for a long time.
My problem was that I have always thought that I had a better understanding of Dafa principles than other practitioners, and when I talked to practitioners or did things, I had strong attachments. I was often arrogant and didn't follow the Fa. When I pointed out other people's mistakes, my tone was not nice and I lacked tolerance towards fellow practitioners. I thought that I pointed out their deficiencies according to the Fa and that my persistence was appropriate. This made practitioners unwilling to accept my advice, and also created conflicts among us and distanced me from them. It caused interference in the operation of our information center. I had initiated the information center, and two other practitioners set it up. I suggested to them that when we prepared Dafa materials, we should do some Fa study or have a sharing based on the Fa, so that we could improve together. Neither seemed too interested. I thought that they must have more time to study the Fa than I did. I worked eight hours a day and worked on Dafa materials during lunch breaks or on weekends, and I felt I needed to find more time to study the Fa.
Of the two practitioners, one was retired and the other was laid off from work. When working on Dafa materials, I would get quite upset and speak in a critical tone of voice whenever I heard them chatting about irrelevant things or speaking inappropriately as a practitioner. Whenever a conflict occurred, the printer would go down. I sensed that this situation was not good and looked inward, but I failed to do it thoroughly. The situation did not improve.
Another issue was that I was quite behind in telling people the facts about Falun Gong face to face. I felt that many people were severely poisoned by the wicked Party and had been lost in the worldly pursuit of personal gain, but I had some obstacles in my mind about engaging such people. Just as Teacher said, I would think that since the person was so narrow-minded and only concerned about his immediate interests, I would just let him go where he will after he has enjoyed his life. In thinking this way, I lacked true compassion. When I told people the facts, I often tried to force them upon people, and the results were not good.
After listening to Teacher's lecture to Australian practitioners, I suddenly realized my problems. Just as Teacher said, I clarified the truth with too much emotion. I was trying to force it upon people, so the results could not be good. When I pointed out fellow practitioners' attachments, I realized I also had the same attachments. That is, I carried an emotion, insisted on my own opinion, and tried to force it onto others, thinking that I was doing it for their own good and not for myself. As a matter of fact, there was an attachment to myself in it and I was not truly thinking of others. How could I do well in telling people the facts and saving sentient beings this way?
Teacher's lecture to Australian practitioners hit me right on the head and woke me up. I made a promise in my mind to Teacher: "I will not be a true disciple of Teacher's if I cannot completely eliminate this attachment of mine. I shall cultivate myself into a life in this new cosmos, which thinks of others ahead of self, is unselfish and selfless, and is worthy of the title Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period.'
Thank you, Teacher, for saving me.