(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher has put an enormous amount of thought and effort into saving sentient beings. Now I have finally realized that Teacher will provide us with everything we need to "validate the Fa" as long as we dedicate our minds to it.
When the Chinese Communist Party began to suppress Falun Gong on July 20, 1999, I had just graduated from college, but because I practiced Falun Gong, no one wanted to hire me. While searching for a job, I was studying English at home. My parents both had steady jobs, so they didn't care if I could not find a job right away. Soon, I started to make money by doing English translation work as a contractor, but I didn't get many jobs.
In 2000, I moved to another city and didn't have the opportunity to keep in touch with fellow practitioners. Hence, I didn't know much about the current projects to clarify the truth about Falun Gong. Because of the Internet blockade in China, I didn't have access to the free Falun Gong books on-line. In 2006, I finally contacted a fellow practitioner, who told me about software to bypass the CCP's Internet blockade. I finally was able to read news about Falun Gong outside of China, which made me very excited. Since then, I have been "clarifying the truth", and at first, I didn't have much experience. I didn't read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party in detail, either. Therefore, my friends were not very receptive when I attempted to clarify the truth to them and because of that, I lost the courage to clarify the truth face-to-face.
At the beginning of 2007, I started to do translation work, but I didn't use my income properly. I splurged on designer clothes and often spent a few hundred yuan on a single item of clothing. It didn't occur to me that I should have used my income to clarify the truth. Even my family told me that I spent too much. To justify my spending, I told them that I shouldn't wait until I was old and saggy to dress up. I felt that clarifying the truth over the Internet would suffice, and it didn't cost much. In the first half of 2007, I mostly clarified the truth over the Internet and I later got less and less translation work. I usually had only one project at a time, so I had very little income, but all of sudden, I lost most of my income. Fortunately my parents allowed me to live with them.
Finally I realized that the reason I had gotten a lot of translation work was because Teacher wanted me to have enough money to validate the Fa and to purchase equipment to produce truth-clarification materials, but I wasted the money Teacher had provided for me. One day I was chatting with an overseas fellow practitioner over the Internet and the person told me, "Do you know how difficult it is for us to run into a Chinese person here? How can you waste the wonderful environment in China?"
The root cause of this was my fear of negative comments and criticism. Actually, the majority of the Chinese population do not browse the Internet. If I don't clarify the truth about Falun Gong to those who don't browse the Internet, they are likely to miss the opportunity of Teacher's salvation. Besides, there are a lot of overseas practitioners clarifying the truth via the Internet already, and those of us who live in China should focus more on clarifying the truth face-to-face. I feared clarifying the truth to my family, because I feared being scolded. However, my friends, classmates and family have a predestined relationship with me. I cannot avoid my responsibility to them simply because I want to save face.
Not long ago I was told about a telephone service that is very safe because its server is physically located outside of China. Hence, I can hide my personal identification. Nowadays, I clarify the truth via this type of telephone service and I also step out to clarify the truth to strangers. After I eliminated my attachment to fear, I felt a great transformation physically and mentally.
Since I don't have much money, I cannot afford to produce truth-clarification VCDs or materials like many other fellow practitioners. I wrote down IP addresses that link to truth-clarification websites that had messages prompting people to withdraw from the CCP, the Youth League, and Young Pioneers. However, I was unable to send people the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party directly.
While I was feeling frustrated with this limitation, a friend of mine called to introduce a new client to me. That night, I chatted with another friend, who told me that she had a friend who was in need of a translator. I decided that these were both Teacher's arrangements. The next day, another friend called and introduced me to another new client.
These experiences have taught me that Teacher will give us everything we need to validate the Fa as long as we position ourselves correctly. If our heart is not righteous, we won't get anything because the money didn't come to us to enjoy life. If we need money to validate the Fa, we will get the money we need.
Every time I think of those practitioners who lead frugal lives to save money for truth-clarification materials, I feel I shouldn't have splurged on expensive clothes. This must be why I was often criticized for my spending and stopped getting clients. Now I have decided to spend the money on proper things, so that Teacher can arrange new job opportunities for me.
This concludes my personal cultivation experiences. Please kindly point out anything erroneous.
